I wish I had a constant level headed perspective about me. Occasionally I get overwhelmed by the onslaught of tasks to do– especially the ones I repeatedly do throughout the day: dishes, picking up toys, meal prep, etc. The last few days have been a complete blessing though, because I have been able to see past the to-do list to what that to-do list means.
Rich and I often take on hefty projects... Sometimes knowing the time and effort commitment, sometimes not. Our recent project has been painting our entry way, kitchen area, and half bath. (Ya, this is one of those "we bit off more than we can chew!" projects.) Despite the chaotic mess of it all, I have been blessed with some beautiful "ah-ha!" moments.
Last night as we were working on finishing touches for painting, I stopped to clean up the total disaster William had made with his toys. As I was cleaning I thought, "Wow, Will had such a fun time pulling out all of his toys and playing with them in so many areas of the house." It made me feel glad that he is exploring and adventuring about his safe house. Once I had all the toys put away, I looked at the line up of trucks, stuffed animals, and Lego blocks and thought, "Wow! William is so blessed. Look at all the fun toys he has."
My body was aching and exhausted, yet I felt a strong sense of gratitude and pride. Gratitude that God has blessed us with a great job, home, and opportunity. Pride because we have worked to do our part of the deal to merit blessings and financial freedom. I felt it a blessing all of the sudden to even be able to work on long, laborious home-projects. It means we have a home! I can be sore-bodied over that!
As I sit here typing, I'm looking over at the bathroom mirror that is laying on the couch until it can be reinstalled. There are lip marks, finger marks, and slobber spots all over it. In my mind I know I'll be cleaning that bad boy up, but more prominent is knowing who all those marks are from. William got a kick out of looking at himself in the mirror. He thought he was so funny kissing his little boy reflection, patting his own reflected hand, and trying to figure out where the kid was. He giggled and giggled over it. I'd say it's totally worth the Windex and paper towel.
After putting William to bed, laughing hysterically over a plastic elephant who romps around his crib making elephant noises which result in tickles and little boy laughter, I headed to my bedroom to grab a few things. My check list of "I really need to clean this..." was working over time (I told you, I'm behind from these dang projects!) , I had to stop and laugh as I looked at the toys in my tub used to distract Will long enough for me to get ready. I thought about how he played with all the buckets and cups and thought, "it's totally worth the clean up."
I realize there are prices to pay when allowing William to explore and play in the variety of ways he does. I am thankful for letting go of perfection and letting the messes be made for the sake of one infectiously happy little boy.
I hope that next time my body aches like a 90 year-old, I can remember these moments of perspective, and feel relieved that I have a beautiful home to maintain, a charming husband who is blessed with a job to provide it all for us, and that the toys are because I let a little boy discover that day.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
Help through the Atonement
This past week has put my mothering skills to the test. There is so much I feel highly inadequate at. The questions, "am I doing this right?" "Should I do this differently?" are never far from my mind. When William is happy and content I feel a surge of happiness that I am doing things well. When he is upset and fussy all day long, I wonder what on earth I need to be doing but am not. The desperation for answers and directions is nearly palpable during these moments.
One of my character quirks (if it can be called such) is that I pray a lot... It's the one thing I trust even more than my go to girls (aka my sister and mom). I have needed to pray a lot lately; particularly for the help to adequately meet the challenge of being a good mother. William has been so sensitive this week, that I feel my cup of patience being chugged every hour. I have felt myself wondering what else I have left to give him, and somehow I have been blessed to be still enough to hear little answers about me.
While trying to help get William and myself breakfast, I set him down to stand beside me while I hefted the economy size cereal bag up and into our bowls. Immediately he started crying the big "I'm going to have my heart broken in two seconds!" tears. He wedged himself between my legs and the cupboards where I was standing, pleading for me to pick him up. I told him, "buddy, I just need you to be patient with me." Immediately I heard in my mind his reply, "but mommy, don't you see? I need you to be patient with me." Answer number one of the day, check. I decided to change my plans, and just be patient. I can't even tell you if I got dressed or not, but I can tell you I dealt with less crying and more smiles because I gave up everything else I wanted to do to just be patient.
While I wish William would be happy constantly and end this fussing phase so my patience would stop its ebb and flow motion, I am humbly aware of the reality that much of motherhood is learning to ask the right questions which lead to the right answers which in turn strengthen my faith in the reality of our Heavenly Father and Savior. I am learning how deeply the atonement applies to all aspects of my life. I have pure confidence that the atonement is real. Several times this week I have had to stop and ask for the anger, frustration, etc. to be taken from my heart. I have been humbled by the ways I have felt that frustration leave, whether fast or slow. Though I feel my inadequacies outweigh my strengths, I am thankful that the atonement makes up the difference: that it blesses me to see the one good thing about me, and puts to rest my pile of "I'm just not..."
I know Heavenly Father is the greatest go-to for advice on parenting. I know the atonement of Christ is real and applicable to the small and simple inadequacies of my life. I trust that I will be aided to become the best mom I can be, and I know it won't happen over night but over the course of my life. This week I am so humbly grateful for help as I pray for it.
One of my character quirks (if it can be called such) is that I pray a lot... It's the one thing I trust even more than my go to girls (aka my sister and mom). I have needed to pray a lot lately; particularly for the help to adequately meet the challenge of being a good mother. William has been so sensitive this week, that I feel my cup of patience being chugged every hour. I have felt myself wondering what else I have left to give him, and somehow I have been blessed to be still enough to hear little answers about me.
While trying to help get William and myself breakfast, I set him down to stand beside me while I hefted the economy size cereal bag up and into our bowls. Immediately he started crying the big "I'm going to have my heart broken in two seconds!" tears. He wedged himself between my legs and the cupboards where I was standing, pleading for me to pick him up. I told him, "buddy, I just need you to be patient with me." Immediately I heard in my mind his reply, "but mommy, don't you see? I need you to be patient with me." Answer number one of the day, check. I decided to change my plans, and just be patient. I can't even tell you if I got dressed or not, but I can tell you I dealt with less crying and more smiles because I gave up everything else I wanted to do to just be patient.
While I wish William would be happy constantly and end this fussing phase so my patience would stop its ebb and flow motion, I am humbly aware of the reality that much of motherhood is learning to ask the right questions which lead to the right answers which in turn strengthen my faith in the reality of our Heavenly Father and Savior. I am learning how deeply the atonement applies to all aspects of my life. I have pure confidence that the atonement is real. Several times this week I have had to stop and ask for the anger, frustration, etc. to be taken from my heart. I have been humbled by the ways I have felt that frustration leave, whether fast or slow. Though I feel my inadequacies outweigh my strengths, I am thankful that the atonement makes up the difference: that it blesses me to see the one good thing about me, and puts to rest my pile of "I'm just not..."
I know Heavenly Father is the greatest go-to for advice on parenting. I know the atonement of Christ is real and applicable to the small and simple inadequacies of my life. I trust that I will be aided to become the best mom I can be, and I know it won't happen over night but over the course of my life. This week I am so humbly grateful for help as I pray for it.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Relief Society Birthday
Like I mentioned last post, my ward and I are celebrating the 171st birthday of Relief Society this month! The activities committee and I have been working hard to make sure everything is all set and ready. We have an incredibly talented ward. I have been feeling so grateful for the many ways women chip in, use their talents, and give of their time to help us create an environment where we can celebrate the goodness of this society; it being a truly extraordinary one!
It sounds so stupid, but I feel really happy because we were able to do things in a cost effective way by using coupons, looking for sales, and using materials we already had on hand. I kept praying that we would use the money we have been allotted in a wise way (because I get concerned about these silly little things), and I feel that Heavenly Father helped direct all of us to the right places for the supplies we needed.
Because it has been such a labor of love, I thought I would share what it looked like, what the program was like, and how the sisters responded to the evening. (Not to tout my ego, but to totally brag about how excellent Relief Society is, and how fun it can be to be involved!)
For our program we had planned to show two video clips about the organization of the Relief Society. Unfortunately that didn't happen because of technical difficulties (which inevitably happens!) We made the best of it. Our Relief Society president spoke and gave a message we all needed to hear. Our committee member who conducted did a wonderful job also tying in our hoped for message into the night. I spoke briefly (and of course got hormonally teary...) about the empowerment of our society and the vision of it. Then we did a little activity where we passes out cards in envelopes (so the ladies could keep it personal and private), and we asked them three questions:
-How has Relief Society personally impacted your life?
-How has Relief Society personally impacted your family? and,
-How has Relief Society impacted the world in your opinion?
I feel like its hard to tell if the meeting was a huge success or not, mostly because I was in and out 95% of the night making sure everything was a-okay. But I do think some main things were addressed, and as my husband reminded me, those who wanted to gain something did. I just have this tendency to want to make everything turn into a powerful spiritual moment, when in reality what happened tonight was probably what needed to happen.
I give huge props to all the ladies who contributed so much. We had amazing cake (I'm not joking! This stuff is worthy of being injected into your veins ;)), lovely decorations (put together with the loving dedication and time of several ladies), and fabulous people who brought food for us to share and enjoy. We were very blessed, let me get real!
It sounds so stupid, but I feel really happy because we were able to do things in a cost effective way by using coupons, looking for sales, and using materials we already had on hand. I kept praying that we would use the money we have been allotted in a wise way (because I get concerned about these silly little things), and I feel that Heavenly Father helped direct all of us to the right places for the supplies we needed.
Because it has been such a labor of love, I thought I would share what it looked like, what the program was like, and how the sisters responded to the evening. (Not to tout my ego, but to totally brag about how excellent Relief Society is, and how fun it can be to be involved!)
For our program we had planned to show two video clips about the organization of the Relief Society. Unfortunately that didn't happen because of technical difficulties (which inevitably happens!) We made the best of it. Our Relief Society president spoke and gave a message we all needed to hear. Our committee member who conducted did a wonderful job also tying in our hoped for message into the night. I spoke briefly (and of course got hormonally teary...) about the empowerment of our society and the vision of it. Then we did a little activity where we passes out cards in envelopes (so the ladies could keep it personal and private), and we asked them three questions:
-How has Relief Society personally impacted your life?
-How has Relief Society personally impacted your family? and,
-How has Relief Society impacted the world in your opinion?
I feel like its hard to tell if the meeting was a huge success or not, mostly because I was in and out 95% of the night making sure everything was a-okay. But I do think some main things were addressed, and as my husband reminded me, those who wanted to gain something did. I just have this tendency to want to make everything turn into a powerful spiritual moment, when in reality what happened tonight was probably what needed to happen.
I give huge props to all the ladies who contributed so much. We had amazing cake (I'm not joking! This stuff is worthy of being injected into your veins ;)), lovely decorations (put together with the loving dedication and time of several ladies), and fabulous people who brought food for us to share and enjoy. We were very blessed, let me get real!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Something Extraordinary
This month my ward is celebrating the 171st Relief Society Birthday with the them, "We Are Going to do Something Extraordinary" (quote by Emma Smith). As I have been pondering this theme and studying it out, I have come to better understand what extraordinary things Sister Smith was talking about.
One of the most extraordinary things about Relief Society, to me, is that this organization is a place where women of all backgrounds, ages, interests, and circumstances belong. It is a place where we all find unity; not because we are all the same in every way, but because we come together in the strength of our mutual faith in Christ. Relief Society, when fully taken advantage of, is the place where we can stand together, firm and undaunted in the things that are eternally true.
I recently have been listening to a talk by Sherri Dew, "Five Things That Will Wreck Your Life, Five Things That Will Save It." In it she talks about what she would do if she were Satan to distract us women from returning to God. A few of her tools were: get the women to squabble (judge) one another, get the women to form cliques, confuse them about their gender roles and identity, make sure they never find out how to personally apply the atonement or personal revelation. When I heard her suggestions I just kept thinking, "yep! How many times has Old Scratch tried that on me?!"
One of the most destructive tools of the adversary against us women is to make us believe that we have no place in Relief Society; that Relief Society is for the really old ladies, or for the crafty stay-at-home moms, or the spiritually noble. All of those things are lies and deceptions. Relief Society may not be perfect; you may not leave every Sunday feeling like your heart is full of sunshine and roses. But you better believe that it is an organization inspired of God, and when looked at through the right perspective, it is the one place where you can gain untold strength to live your faith day in and day out.
Satan works his magic to deceive us into this notion that "we don't belong." Why does he do that? Because it is ten times easier to confuse, discourage, and subdue a woman of God into inactivity if she is not surrounded and bouied up by other friends and women of God.
Satan is a crafty man. He will stop at nothing to derail us from the fast course to heaven. But God is smarter, more caring, and more prepared than he is. Relief Society is extraordinary for many, many reasons. The purpose of unity, friendship, and hope in and through Christ is just one of those extraordinary things about Relief Society.
***
Just today I came across this YouTube video by, whom I feel has become a dear friend, Chieko Okazaki. She more perfectly and more visually describes and depicts what I was trying to convey in my above post. I truly want to be like this woman!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daLur3u6l9M&feature=youtube_gdata_player
One of the most extraordinary things about Relief Society, to me, is that this organization is a place where women of all backgrounds, ages, interests, and circumstances belong. It is a place where we all find unity; not because we are all the same in every way, but because we come together in the strength of our mutual faith in Christ. Relief Society, when fully taken advantage of, is the place where we can stand together, firm and undaunted in the things that are eternally true.
I recently have been listening to a talk by Sherri Dew, "Five Things That Will Wreck Your Life, Five Things That Will Save It." In it she talks about what she would do if she were Satan to distract us women from returning to God. A few of her tools were: get the women to squabble (judge) one another, get the women to form cliques, confuse them about their gender roles and identity, make sure they never find out how to personally apply the atonement or personal revelation. When I heard her suggestions I just kept thinking, "yep! How many times has Old Scratch tried that on me?!"
One of the most destructive tools of the adversary against us women is to make us believe that we have no place in Relief Society; that Relief Society is for the really old ladies, or for the crafty stay-at-home moms, or the spiritually noble. All of those things are lies and deceptions. Relief Society may not be perfect; you may not leave every Sunday feeling like your heart is full of sunshine and roses. But you better believe that it is an organization inspired of God, and when looked at through the right perspective, it is the one place where you can gain untold strength to live your faith day in and day out.
Satan works his magic to deceive us into this notion that "we don't belong." Why does he do that? Because it is ten times easier to confuse, discourage, and subdue a woman of God into inactivity if she is not surrounded and bouied up by other friends and women of God.
Satan is a crafty man. He will stop at nothing to derail us from the fast course to heaven. But God is smarter, more caring, and more prepared than he is. Relief Society is extraordinary for many, many reasons. The purpose of unity, friendship, and hope in and through Christ is just one of those extraordinary things about Relief Society.
***
Just today I came across this YouTube video by, whom I feel has become a dear friend, Chieko Okazaki. She more perfectly and more visually describes and depicts what I was trying to convey in my above post. I truly want to be like this woman!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daLur3u6l9M&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Really There
William has been giving me lots of love lately. He hardly wants me to put him down, and gets very anxious when he thinks I'm about to leave. I've been trying to take things slow with him, give him the love he needs, and hopefully get to what needs to be done at least before Rich gets home.
On Tuesday, Rich was at young men's (youth group) so I did bed time alone. We did our usual routine, bath, pj's, scriptures, prayer, song. While I sang to William, he stood on the inside of his crib with his arms wrapped around my neck, his teddy bear smooshed in the hug with us. I felt his sweet little head rest against my face and all I could think about was the tremendous love I have for this boy. I stopped my singing to just talk to him. Because I am maybe a bit on the ridiculously sentimental side, I asked him if he could feel how much I love him, if he knew how happy he makes me and the purpose he fills my heart with. I told him that I am so glad his dad and I get to raise him, and then I just watched as he snuggled in and absorbed the silence we shared. It was a simple moment that has filled my heart.
Motherhood is an incredible profession. From the time I can remember, I innately loved babies and taking care of them. I drug countless baby dolls around as a little girl, and when my poor little brother arrived, he became my human doll. I still have to catch myself from trying to over mother him. I am simply amazed by the innate desire in me to nurture. There is something so fulfilling and empowering about it.
Recently, I listened to an older General Conference talk by Elder Robert D. Hales. He gave a story about how one day he was sitting reading the news paper, while his grandson snuggled beside him and jabbered on. After a few minutes had gone by, his grandson turned to him and said, "grandpa, are you in there?" Elder Hales then asked the question, "mother, father, are you there?" Out of his whole talk, I have thought repeatedly on that question. Am I really there? When I am with William, am I really with him? Or am I too worried about projects to be done, the Internet to peruse, or cleaning our blaze of a mess?
I realize all things have a time and a purpose. I don't feel like it is harmful to William if I spend time cleaning, or chat on the phone with my mom while he plays. But how much time am I dedicating to those things verses how much time am I dedicating to really being with William? While much of my instincts are natural in the nurturing department, I am increasingly aware of my gratitude for the power of inspiration. I do try to do my best to be a good mom, and because my desires are in the right place, I often have thoughts or impressions come to mind that inspire me to be a better mom. The question often comes to mind, "is that (whatever I'm doing instead of helping Will) so important?" And often times the answer is, "no." I am grateful I don't have to try to be a good mom on my own. Someone much wiser than me gives me the help and direction I need as I seek daily help; what a comfort that is!
I have hope that out of the thousands of ways to be a good mom, He'll help me be the type of "good mom" my children need. He will help me to be the type of mom that is really there; for the big things and especially the daily small things. God knows my children better than I ever will, and I trust His direction.
I think success in motherhood is calculated in the smallest of small moments. It's simply doing your best to be present and attentive. The magical moments then happen in natural stride, without planning or preparation; they come because you're there, you're really there. My children will come to learn how overly mushy and sentimental I can be, but they are going to have to deal with it ;) I want them to hear my voice of love and encouragement when they are feeling sad, lost, or confused. I want them to know they are my world, because they are. I want them to remember the things we did together, the things I did for them, and the feelings they had because I was really there.
Out of all the things I could do with my time and talents, being a mother who is truly there is the best thing I can think of.
On Tuesday, Rich was at young men's (youth group) so I did bed time alone. We did our usual routine, bath, pj's, scriptures, prayer, song. While I sang to William, he stood on the inside of his crib with his arms wrapped around my neck, his teddy bear smooshed in the hug with us. I felt his sweet little head rest against my face and all I could think about was the tremendous love I have for this boy. I stopped my singing to just talk to him. Because I am maybe a bit on the ridiculously sentimental side, I asked him if he could feel how much I love him, if he knew how happy he makes me and the purpose he fills my heart with. I told him that I am so glad his dad and I get to raise him, and then I just watched as he snuggled in and absorbed the silence we shared. It was a simple moment that has filled my heart.
Motherhood is an incredible profession. From the time I can remember, I innately loved babies and taking care of them. I drug countless baby dolls around as a little girl, and when my poor little brother arrived, he became my human doll. I still have to catch myself from trying to over mother him. I am simply amazed by the innate desire in me to nurture. There is something so fulfilling and empowering about it.
Recently, I listened to an older General Conference talk by Elder Robert D. Hales. He gave a story about how one day he was sitting reading the news paper, while his grandson snuggled beside him and jabbered on. After a few minutes had gone by, his grandson turned to him and said, "grandpa, are you in there?" Elder Hales then asked the question, "mother, father, are you there?" Out of his whole talk, I have thought repeatedly on that question. Am I really there? When I am with William, am I really with him? Or am I too worried about projects to be done, the Internet to peruse, or cleaning our blaze of a mess?
I realize all things have a time and a purpose. I don't feel like it is harmful to William if I spend time cleaning, or chat on the phone with my mom while he plays. But how much time am I dedicating to those things verses how much time am I dedicating to really being with William? While much of my instincts are natural in the nurturing department, I am increasingly aware of my gratitude for the power of inspiration. I do try to do my best to be a good mom, and because my desires are in the right place, I often have thoughts or impressions come to mind that inspire me to be a better mom. The question often comes to mind, "is that (whatever I'm doing instead of helping Will) so important?" And often times the answer is, "no." I am grateful I don't have to try to be a good mom on my own. Someone much wiser than me gives me the help and direction I need as I seek daily help; what a comfort that is!
I have hope that out of the thousands of ways to be a good mom, He'll help me be the type of "good mom" my children need. He will help me to be the type of mom that is really there; for the big things and especially the daily small things. God knows my children better than I ever will, and I trust His direction.
I think success in motherhood is calculated in the smallest of small moments. It's simply doing your best to be present and attentive. The magical moments then happen in natural stride, without planning or preparation; they come because you're there, you're really there. My children will come to learn how overly mushy and sentimental I can be, but they are going to have to deal with it ;) I want them to hear my voice of love and encouragement when they are feeling sad, lost, or confused. I want them to know they are my world, because they are. I want them to remember the things we did together, the things I did for them, and the feelings they had because I was really there.
Out of all the things I could do with my time and talents, being a mother who is truly there is the best thing I can think of.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
My Mormon Faith: The Book of Mormon
Today I feel to write with the goal of Christian unity; to stand united in a mutual belief in Christ with all my friends who believe He is our Savior and God is our eternal Father. I write with the deep desire for understanding and hope that I have chosen the right words to adequately convey my conviction in our Savior and Father. Understanding the heart and nature of our fellow Christians is what we need to strive for. We need to stick together on everything we agree on, and support each other on our personal journey back to God.
With this sincere goal in mind, I share with you my testimony of the Book of Mormon— another testament of Jesus Christ.
As a Latter-day Saint, we are encouraged to spend quality time reading our scriptures each day. Since I was about a freshman in high school, I have really tried to do this. I am trying to go deeper in my scripture study; making an added effort to learn what God is trying to teach me personally. I have come to realize there is personal direction and comfort I gain when I do this.
The other day I didn't have that much time to sit down and read, so I decided to listen to some past General Conference talks on my phone (while Will bulldozed around the house!) The talk, "Safety for the Soul" by Jeffrey R Holland came on. He is such a powerful speaker and has an incredible love for God and His word. His talk in part is his testimony and witness of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. It was easy for me to feel the sincerity of his words; I have come to love and know the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon too.
I have heard that the Book of Mormon is a great stumbling block for people. Some wonder why God would have a young boy translate scripture for our day, others discredit it because it is not in the Bible, some believe spooks and myths about its contents and origin, and others rest on apathetic disinterest. When our young missionaries go out proselyting, they give out copies of the Book of Mormon, share their personal testimonies of it, and ask the investigator (aka person their teaching) to read either certain scriptures they have marked or the book itself. Some people take them up on it. Others choose not to. I can say that the vast majority of those who do take them up on the challenge feel the powerful goodness of the book- even if they don't embrace the Mormon faith.
The Book of Mormon is roughly 527 pages, and is translated in several different languages (of which I do not have an exact list, but if you're interested you can easily find!) I just recently finished reading the book cover to cover for the I-don't-know-how-manyth time (;)), and came away with a deeper, more personal love for the book.
I give you my personal testimony that the Book of Mormon is inspired of God. It testifies of God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost whom I love dearly. Through my study of the Book of Mormon I have deepened my personal relationship with God, and fully trust that Christ's grace is sufficient to heal all my wounds, sins, and imperfections. I give heed to its counsel and warnings, trusting they are messages from God through His prophets of old.
The Book of Mormon reassures me that God cares about His children no matter if they were born before, during, or after the time of Christ. The Book of Mormon reassures me that God knows the circumstances into which He sends His spirit children and has thoroughly prepared a way for them to return to live with Him in full glory. The Book of Mormon comforts me that I can be a successful mother, wife, individual, and friend. It teaches me clearly how to seek early inspiration from God through prayer, fasting, scripture study, and temple observance. The Book of Mormon reassures me that good always triumphs evil, and that God will not forsake those who choose Him. The Book of Mormon gives me confidence to stand for what is true- even if it means I stand alone. The Book of Mormon is my source of joy and hope. It is my connection to the eternities.
I believe the words of the Book of Mormon. I believe that it was translated by a servant of God so that we can have additional witness and clarification of God's truths, His nature, and the way to return to His presence. I love this book. It has become a dear friend to me in a way only holy truth can.
Returning to the reference I made to Jeffrey R Hollands talk, I want to share with you an excerpt from it as one of the many reasons why I find the Book of Mormon so convincingly true. His words are my words of testimony and faith.
"When Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum started for Carthage to face what they knew would be an imminent martyrdom, Hyrum read these words to comfort the heart of his brother:
“Thou hast been faithful; wherefore … thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father.
“And now I, Moroni, bid farewell … until we shall meet before the judgment-seat of Christ.”
"[These are a] few short verses from the 12th chapter of Ether in the Book of Mormon. Before closing the book, Hyrum turned down the corner of the page from which he had read, marking it as part of the everlasting testimony for which these two brothers were about to die... Later, when actually incarcerated in the jail, Joseph the Prophet turned to the guards who held him captive and bore a powerful testimony of the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon. Shortly thereafter pistol and ball would take the lives of these two testators.
"As one of a thousand elements of my own testimony of the divinity of the Book of Mormon, I submit this as yet one more evidence of its truthfulness. In this their greatest—and last—hour of need, I ask you: would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book (and by implication a church and a ministry) they had fictitiously created out of whole cloth?
"Never mind that their wives are about to be widows and their children fatherless. Never mind that their little band of followers will yet be “houseless, friendless and homeless” and that their children will leave footprints of blood across frozen rivers and an untamed prairie floor. Never mind that legions will die and other legions live declaring in the four quarters of this earth that they know the Book of Mormon and the Church which espouses it to be true. Disregard all of that, and tell me whether in this hour of death these two men would enter the presence of their Eternal Judge quoting from and finding solace in a book which, if not the very word of God, would brand them as imposters and charlatans until the end of time? They would not do that! They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and the eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon."
My dear friends, truth has a way of penetrating the tests of time. This book fills me with light, hope, and joy. My life acts as a testimony to its goodness; I will forever strive to live by what I learn from this book. Whether or not you choose to read it and come to know the truths in it is a matter of personal choice, but please, trust that when I say its words are good, that they testify of Christ and His divine mission, and that it brings light and hope to my life that I am telling you the honest, most heart felt truth I have come to know.
There is great strength and very little harm to standing together in our mutual love for Christ and His commandments. Life is so sweet when our minds are filled with truth!
With this sincere goal in mind, I share with you my testimony of the Book of Mormon— another testament of Jesus Christ.
As a Latter-day Saint, we are encouraged to spend quality time reading our scriptures each day. Since I was about a freshman in high school, I have really tried to do this. I am trying to go deeper in my scripture study; making an added effort to learn what God is trying to teach me personally. I have come to realize there is personal direction and comfort I gain when I do this.
The other day I didn't have that much time to sit down and read, so I decided to listen to some past General Conference talks on my phone (while Will bulldozed around the house!) The talk, "Safety for the Soul" by Jeffrey R Holland came on. He is such a powerful speaker and has an incredible love for God and His word. His talk in part is his testimony and witness of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. It was easy for me to feel the sincerity of his words; I have come to love and know the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon too.
I have heard that the Book of Mormon is a great stumbling block for people. Some wonder why God would have a young boy translate scripture for our day, others discredit it because it is not in the Bible, some believe spooks and myths about its contents and origin, and others rest on apathetic disinterest. When our young missionaries go out proselyting, they give out copies of the Book of Mormon, share their personal testimonies of it, and ask the investigator (aka person their teaching) to read either certain scriptures they have marked or the book itself. Some people take them up on it. Others choose not to. I can say that the vast majority of those who do take them up on the challenge feel the powerful goodness of the book- even if they don't embrace the Mormon faith.
The Book of Mormon is roughly 527 pages, and is translated in several different languages (of which I do not have an exact list, but if you're interested you can easily find!) I just recently finished reading the book cover to cover for the I-don't-know-how-manyth time (;)), and came away with a deeper, more personal love for the book.
I give you my personal testimony that the Book of Mormon is inspired of God. It testifies of God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost whom I love dearly. Through my study of the Book of Mormon I have deepened my personal relationship with God, and fully trust that Christ's grace is sufficient to heal all my wounds, sins, and imperfections. I give heed to its counsel and warnings, trusting they are messages from God through His prophets of old.
The Book of Mormon reassures me that God cares about His children no matter if they were born before, during, or after the time of Christ. The Book of Mormon reassures me that God knows the circumstances into which He sends His spirit children and has thoroughly prepared a way for them to return to live with Him in full glory. The Book of Mormon comforts me that I can be a successful mother, wife, individual, and friend. It teaches me clearly how to seek early inspiration from God through prayer, fasting, scripture study, and temple observance. The Book of Mormon reassures me that good always triumphs evil, and that God will not forsake those who choose Him. The Book of Mormon gives me confidence to stand for what is true- even if it means I stand alone. The Book of Mormon is my source of joy and hope. It is my connection to the eternities.
I believe the words of the Book of Mormon. I believe that it was translated by a servant of God so that we can have additional witness and clarification of God's truths, His nature, and the way to return to His presence. I love this book. It has become a dear friend to me in a way only holy truth can.
Returning to the reference I made to Jeffrey R Hollands talk, I want to share with you an excerpt from it as one of the many reasons why I find the Book of Mormon so convincingly true. His words are my words of testimony and faith.
"When Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum started for Carthage to face what they knew would be an imminent martyrdom, Hyrum read these words to comfort the heart of his brother:
“Thou hast been faithful; wherefore … thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father.
“And now I, Moroni, bid farewell … until we shall meet before the judgment-seat of Christ.”
"[These are a] few short verses from the 12th chapter of Ether in the Book of Mormon. Before closing the book, Hyrum turned down the corner of the page from which he had read, marking it as part of the everlasting testimony for which these two brothers were about to die... Later, when actually incarcerated in the jail, Joseph the Prophet turned to the guards who held him captive and bore a powerful testimony of the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon. Shortly thereafter pistol and ball would take the lives of these two testators.
"As one of a thousand elements of my own testimony of the divinity of the Book of Mormon, I submit this as yet one more evidence of its truthfulness. In this their greatest—and last—hour of need, I ask you: would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book (and by implication a church and a ministry) they had fictitiously created out of whole cloth?
"Never mind that their wives are about to be widows and their children fatherless. Never mind that their little band of followers will yet be “houseless, friendless and homeless” and that their children will leave footprints of blood across frozen rivers and an untamed prairie floor. Never mind that legions will die and other legions live declaring in the four quarters of this earth that they know the Book of Mormon and the Church which espouses it to be true. Disregard all of that, and tell me whether in this hour of death these two men would enter the presence of their Eternal Judge quoting from and finding solace in a book which, if not the very word of God, would brand them as imposters and charlatans until the end of time? They would not do that! They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and the eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon."
My dear friends, truth has a way of penetrating the tests of time. This book fills me with light, hope, and joy. My life acts as a testimony to its goodness; I will forever strive to live by what I learn from this book. Whether or not you choose to read it and come to know the truths in it is a matter of personal choice, but please, trust that when I say its words are good, that they testify of Christ and His divine mission, and that it brings light and hope to my life that I am telling you the honest, most heart felt truth I have come to know.
There is great strength and very little harm to standing together in our mutual love for Christ and His commandments. Life is so sweet when our minds are filled with truth!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
The Image
If you read this post, you may think, "oh here she goes again..." And I can't blame you if you do. I may beat subjects to a pulp, but this is my learning blog and as I learn things I like to write about them. So there. Read on, if you like ;)
My sweet sister and I often have conversations about food, weight, and exercise. We are each others moral support in this battle we fight together; the battle to no succumb to what the world deems "pretty," "thin," etc, etc, etc. We don't talk about it all the time, but often enough that I started to wonder if I was right to talk about it so much.
Like normal, I thought about this for a while and have come to my conclusion– you ready?? I think it is right to talk about it as much as we both need to, whenever we need to, for as long as we need to. Why? Because we aren't ever going to get a break from the world passing its judgement on our weight, amount of time exercising, and diet. We need to support each other in what is REAL and what SHOULD be our real priorities.
I've admitted to struggling with my body image growing up. I've also explained the liberation of loving who I am. I am constantly working to maintain that love. It's a love that allows me to not be consumed by my imperfections, helps me focus my attention on others, and helps me to see that I do have good gifts and qualities.
I am becoming more aware of the image that is being driven all around me. It is the lean, flat stomach, size two woman who eats 1,500 calories a day (if that), and is persuaded to follow the newest nutritional push for how to lose "10 pounds a week." Now I may exaggerate and use more descriptors than necessary. I am sure I could have just said "skinny" and you would have had over a dozen pictures pop into your head of women who are advertised and pictured as the "ideal bod." To this I say, "get real!"
Maybe I am just stubborn, but I don't understand why one body type should be the only way we women can feel like we are valuable, attractive, healthy individuals. How unreal is that? Why should my friend whose a natural 10 feel like she's not amazing because she's not a 2? I place a big "unreal!" stamp on that.
Sister Elaine S. Dalton spoke in 2008, her talking being titled, "A Return to Virtue." I quote her now:
"...Lehonti in the Book of Mormon was well positioned on the top of a mountain. He and those he led were “fixed in their minds with a determined resolution” that they would not come down from the mount. It only took the deceitful Amalickiah four tries, each one more bold than the previous, to get Lehonti to “come down off from the mount.” And then having embraced Amalickiah’s false promises, Lehonti was “poison[ed] by degrees” until he died. Not just poisoned, but “by degrees.” Could it be that this may be happening today? Could it be that first we tolerate, then accept, and eventually embrace the vice that surrounds us? Could it be that we have been deceived by false role models and persuasive media messages that cause us to forget our divine identity? Are we too being poisoned by degrees? What could be more deceptive than to entice the youth of this noble generation to do nothing or to be busy ever-texting but never coming to a knowledge of the truths contained in a book that was written for you and your day by prophets of God—the Book of Mormon? What could be more deceptive than to entice women, young and old, you and me, to be so involved in ourselves, our looks, our clothes, our body shape and size that we lose sight of our divine identity and our ability to change the world through our virtuous influence?"
As I listened to Sister Dalton's talk this afternoon, I had to pause and find this quote from her. It beautifully explains everything I have been feeling about body image. It is the enticement of the adversary to get us women to obsess over our bodies through food, exercise, and clothes. It is alarming how successful he has been and is.
We repeatedly see images of women who are very skinny, work outs that promise that sexy trim body, and diets that encourage dropping several pant sizes by the time you're done. Are we being "slowly poisoned by degrees" with all of this? Are we allowing ourselves to stop feeling good about who we are and what we look like because of what we see 'so-and-so' has pinned on pintrest, posted on Facebook, or the magazine we passed in the grocery store? Are we allowing our self-perception to be molded by outside forces that push one objectified, sex-filled image? What poisons do we need to run away from? What is our mountain of safety and reality from the false advertising of narrow minded body image? What and where do we turn to find who we really are and what we are really worth?
In our world that is pushing the message "one size or bust!" I feel my soul clinging to people like my sister; people who are grounded to what is real— who know who they divinely are and who they want to become. I find myself clinging to prayer, the kind words of my husband, and the counsel found in scriptures and conference talks. There are things much more worth my time and energy than being a size 0, 2, or 4, or only eating celery sticks and ice cubes (or some variation of a crazy diet).
I want to be engaged in what really matters most. I want to stand firm and true for the principles that support me in treating my body and spirit the way I should be treating them. I always come back to the fact that my body is the physical shell for my spirit. Through appropriately treating my body I can more appropriate tend to my spirit.
I want to stand high on the mountain top, and refuse to come down only to be poisoned by degrees. I choose to see past the onslaught of lies. I choose to care more about deep beauty than surface beauty. I choose to seek out the good in myself. I have to keep choosing that today, tomorrow, and forever.
I'm grateful for coming across sister Dalton's message today. I think I'll be revisiting it often!
My sweet sister and I often have conversations about food, weight, and exercise. We are each others moral support in this battle we fight together; the battle to no succumb to what the world deems "pretty," "thin," etc, etc, etc. We don't talk about it all the time, but often enough that I started to wonder if I was right to talk about it so much.
Like normal, I thought about this for a while and have come to my conclusion– you ready?? I think it is right to talk about it as much as we both need to, whenever we need to, for as long as we need to. Why? Because we aren't ever going to get a break from the world passing its judgement on our weight, amount of time exercising, and diet. We need to support each other in what is REAL and what SHOULD be our real priorities.
I've admitted to struggling with my body image growing up. I've also explained the liberation of loving who I am. I am constantly working to maintain that love. It's a love that allows me to not be consumed by my imperfections, helps me focus my attention on others, and helps me to see that I do have good gifts and qualities.
I am becoming more aware of the image that is being driven all around me. It is the lean, flat stomach, size two woman who eats 1,500 calories a day (if that), and is persuaded to follow the newest nutritional push for how to lose "10 pounds a week." Now I may exaggerate and use more descriptors than necessary. I am sure I could have just said "skinny" and you would have had over a dozen pictures pop into your head of women who are advertised and pictured as the "ideal bod." To this I say, "get real!"
Maybe I am just stubborn, but I don't understand why one body type should be the only way we women can feel like we are valuable, attractive, healthy individuals. How unreal is that? Why should my friend whose a natural 10 feel like she's not amazing because she's not a 2? I place a big "unreal!" stamp on that.
Sister Elaine S. Dalton spoke in 2008, her talking being titled, "A Return to Virtue." I quote her now:
"...Lehonti in the Book of Mormon was well positioned on the top of a mountain. He and those he led were “fixed in their minds with a determined resolution” that they would not come down from the mount. It only took the deceitful Amalickiah four tries, each one more bold than the previous, to get Lehonti to “come down off from the mount.” And then having embraced Amalickiah’s false promises, Lehonti was “poison[ed] by degrees” until he died. Not just poisoned, but “by degrees.” Could it be that this may be happening today? Could it be that first we tolerate, then accept, and eventually embrace the vice that surrounds us? Could it be that we have been deceived by false role models and persuasive media messages that cause us to forget our divine identity? Are we too being poisoned by degrees? What could be more deceptive than to entice the youth of this noble generation to do nothing or to be busy ever-texting but never coming to a knowledge of the truths contained in a book that was written for you and your day by prophets of God—the Book of Mormon? What could be more deceptive than to entice women, young and old, you and me, to be so involved in ourselves, our looks, our clothes, our body shape and size that we lose sight of our divine identity and our ability to change the world through our virtuous influence?"
As I listened to Sister Dalton's talk this afternoon, I had to pause and find this quote from her. It beautifully explains everything I have been feeling about body image. It is the enticement of the adversary to get us women to obsess over our bodies through food, exercise, and clothes. It is alarming how successful he has been and is.
We repeatedly see images of women who are very skinny, work outs that promise that sexy trim body, and diets that encourage dropping several pant sizes by the time you're done. Are we being "slowly poisoned by degrees" with all of this? Are we allowing ourselves to stop feeling good about who we are and what we look like because of what we see 'so-and-so' has pinned on pintrest, posted on Facebook, or the magazine we passed in the grocery store? Are we allowing our self-perception to be molded by outside forces that push one objectified, sex-filled image? What poisons do we need to run away from? What is our mountain of safety and reality from the false advertising of narrow minded body image? What and where do we turn to find who we really are and what we are really worth?
In our world that is pushing the message "one size or bust!" I feel my soul clinging to people like my sister; people who are grounded to what is real— who know who they divinely are and who they want to become. I find myself clinging to prayer, the kind words of my husband, and the counsel found in scriptures and conference talks. There are things much more worth my time and energy than being a size 0, 2, or 4, or only eating celery sticks and ice cubes (or some variation of a crazy diet).
I want to be engaged in what really matters most. I want to stand firm and true for the principles that support me in treating my body and spirit the way I should be treating them. I always come back to the fact that my body is the physical shell for my spirit. Through appropriately treating my body I can more appropriate tend to my spirit.
I want to stand high on the mountain top, and refuse to come down only to be poisoned by degrees. I choose to see past the onslaught of lies. I choose to care more about deep beauty than surface beauty. I choose to seek out the good in myself. I have to keep choosing that today, tomorrow, and forever.
I'm grateful for coming across sister Dalton's message today. I think I'll be revisiting it often!
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