My sweet sister and I often have conversations about food, weight, and exercise. We are each others moral support in this battle we fight together; the battle to no succumb to what the world deems "pretty," "thin," etc, etc, etc. We don't talk about it all the time, but often enough that I started to wonder if I was right to talk about it so much.
Like normal, I thought about this for a while and have come to my conclusion– you ready?? I think it is right to talk about it as much as we both need to, whenever we need to, for as long as we need to. Why? Because we aren't ever going to get a break from the world passing its judgement on our weight, amount of time exercising, and diet. We need to support each other in what is REAL and what SHOULD be our real priorities.
I've admitted to struggling with my body image growing up. I've also explained the liberation of loving who I am. I am constantly working to maintain that love. It's a love that allows me to not be consumed by my imperfections, helps me focus my attention on others, and helps me to see that I do have good gifts and qualities.
I am becoming more aware of the image that is being driven all around me. It is the lean, flat stomach, size two woman who eats 1,500 calories a day (if that), and is persuaded to follow the newest nutritional push for how to lose "10 pounds a week." Now I may exaggerate and use more descriptors than necessary. I am sure I could have just said "skinny" and you would have had over a dozen pictures pop into your head of women who are advertised and pictured as the "ideal bod." To this I say, "get real!"
Maybe I am just stubborn, but I don't understand why one body type should be the only way we women can feel like we are valuable, attractive, healthy individuals. How unreal is that? Why should my friend whose a natural 10 feel like she's not amazing because she's not a 2? I place a big "unreal!" stamp on that.
Sister Elaine S. Dalton spoke in 2008, her talking being titled, "A Return to Virtue." I quote her now:
"...Lehonti in the Book of Mormon was well positioned on the top of a mountain. He and those he led were “fixed in their minds with a determined resolution” that they would not come down from the mount. It only took the deceitful Amalickiah four tries, each one more bold than the previous, to get Lehonti to “come down off from the mount.” And then having embraced Amalickiah’s false promises, Lehonti was “poison[ed] by degrees” until he died. Not just poisoned, but “by degrees.” Could it be that this may be happening today? Could it be that first we tolerate, then accept, and eventually embrace the vice that surrounds us? Could it be that we have been deceived by false role models and persuasive media messages that cause us to forget our divine identity? Are we too being poisoned by degrees? What could be more deceptive than to entice the youth of this noble generation to do nothing or to be busy ever-texting but never coming to a knowledge of the truths contained in a book that was written for you and your day by prophets of God—the Book of Mormon? What could be more deceptive than to entice women, young and old, you and me, to be so involved in ourselves, our looks, our clothes, our body shape and size that we lose sight of our divine identity and our ability to change the world through our virtuous influence?"
As I listened to Sister Dalton's talk this afternoon, I had to pause and find this quote from her. It beautifully explains everything I have been feeling about body image. It is the enticement of the adversary to get us women to obsess over our bodies through food, exercise, and clothes. It is alarming how successful he has been and is.
We repeatedly see images of women who are very skinny, work outs that promise that sexy trim body, and diets that encourage dropping several pant sizes by the time you're done. Are we being "slowly poisoned by degrees" with all of this? Are we allowing ourselves to stop feeling good about who we are and what we look like because of what we see 'so-and-so' has pinned on pintrest, posted on Facebook, or the magazine we passed in the grocery store? Are we allowing our self-perception to be molded by outside forces that push one objectified, sex-filled image? What poisons do we need to run away from? What is our mountain of safety and reality from the false advertising of narrow minded body image? What and where do we turn to find who we really are and what we are really worth?
In our world that is pushing the message "one size or bust!" I feel my soul clinging to people like my sister; people who are grounded to what is real— who know who they divinely are and who they want to become. I find myself clinging to prayer, the kind words of my husband, and the counsel found in scriptures and conference talks. There are things much more worth my time and energy than being a size 0, 2, or 4, or only eating celery sticks and ice cubes (or some variation of a crazy diet).
I want to be engaged in what really matters most. I want to stand firm and true for the principles that support me in treating my body and spirit the way I should be treating them. I always come back to the fact that my body is the physical shell for my spirit. Through appropriately treating my body I can more appropriate tend to my spirit.
I want to stand high on the mountain top, and refuse to come down only to be poisoned by degrees. I choose to see past the onslaught of lies. I choose to care more about deep beauty than surface beauty. I choose to seek out the good in myself. I have to keep choosing that today, tomorrow, and forever.
I'm grateful for coming across sister Dalton's message today. I think I'll be revisiting it often!
