My Mormon Faith

I have debated for some time on whether or not I should write this post. I have thought about it for a significant amount of time and figure that if I wasn't supposed to write it I wouldn't think about it so much. Mormonism is an often misunderstood or unknown religion. Its firm standards and unyielding truths have received both praise and criticism. I want to explain why I am a Latter-day Saint (or Mormon). I will be very open, honest, and real with you. In doing so, I ask for you to treat kindly the things I share- they are very personal, but they are important for me to share so that you can understand my personal conversion. I will break it down, and share different sections as to make reading it more coherent.

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My Initial Conversion:

My parents, Anne and Lynn Mortenson, are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They both grew up as Mormons and raised their 5 children in the LDS faith. As a kid, I didn't always like the things we did– going to church for 3 hours on Sunday felt like eternity! As I got older, I didn't like that I couldn't wear short shorts, tank-tops, and two piece swimming suits, and I especially didn't like that I couldn't date until I was 16. I fought against these things because I didn't understand why they were important.

When I hit 5th grade, I became very self-conscious. I wanted to be popular, beautiful, and liked. I struggled to find acceptance and had many times where I would go home to my loving mother and crumple in her arms crying because of some traumatic drama that had happened with my friends.

In 6th grade, I learned that my oldest brother, TJ (or Tyrel), had decided to leave our faith. This was the hardest time I can remember for my family. I didn't know the whole picture- the why's and the deep sorrows felt on both ends. It transformed my determination to live the gospel of Jesus Christ though; because seeing the immense sorrow it brought to both my parents, but especially my dad, I knew that despite how much I didn't understand, the gospel was essential to happiness. I made the determination that come hell or high water, I wouldn't leave the church. Later I found out that my brother left the church because he is homosexual. We have yet to bridge some gaps, but we as a family love each other deeply, and are grateful for the deep, binding relationships we have together. We value and cherish my brother and admire all that he does so well.

Upon entering 7th grade, I developed a slight eating disorder (I say slight because it wasn't full on anorexia and never was bulimia). I felt that in order to be popular I had to be very skinny and I started down the road to self loathing. It was dark, frustrating, and incomplete. I was selfish and unkind at times because I was too caught up in me to have sensitivity to other people. At this phase of life, I still didn't get what was so good about my religion.

All through this time, my parents were good about having Family Home Evening; one night a week where together we would say a prayer, gather around the piano and sing a song or two about God, and then we would read the scriptures (both the Book of Mormon and the Bible) and answer/ ask questions about what we read (head scratches, back scratches, etc were included as a perk ;)). This was a time where we all learned a lot, and although I put up a fight against it some nights, I loved the chance to ask my parents questions about what we read and why we do/ don't do some things.

The summer between 8th grade and 9th grade a beautiful transformation came to my life. My angel sister, Jena, has always been my best friend. What she did, I did- no question. At this time Jena was getting ready to take off for college. Together we started to do more to pray and read our scriptures (mostly the Book of Mormon). We studied together and shared feelings and inspiration we had come to our minds. As I prayed to God, slowly my thoughts about myself were changed. I came to know, without a doubt, that I am a spirit daughter of God and that He loves and cares for me. There would be days where I would feel lonely or insecure and as I prayed and asked for comfort, my whole heart would feel full- like I was being embraced in a kind, compassionate hug.

At this time, I also started paying attention more in church. I would bring paper and a pen and would take notes of the things that were spoken. There were so many things said that resonated within me. Things like, I have a Savior who died for me to not only suffer for my sins, but to grant me comfort. Or that by not dating until I was 16 I would be protected from making bad moral choices (I hadn't followed this closely, and so I knew that it was true because of some of the things I experienced). Other things that really touched me were that by reading my scriptures I could know what God would have me do, and that by praying I could receive peace and comfort. All of these things I had been taught since I was a baby took on new meaning, and I fell in love with the change that was taking place in my life. I was happier, I could care less about what people thought about me, and I loved my body again (I stopped starving myself to be "skinny"). I really started trying to live what I was being taught. I know I wasn't perfect at it, but as I tried I was so much happier- and that was all the testimony I needed to know that the gospel was good.

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The Book of Mormon:

The Book of Mormon throws many religious sects off. It has been misinterpreted as, "the Mormon's Bible", and has been accused of being "made-up" by Joseph Smith (the man who translated it through the direction of God). As someone who has read the Book of Mormon several times, I can give you my honest, personal testimony that that book is not made up. It speaks of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and does not deviate from Christian truths. It espouses belief in God, faith, baptism by proper authority, and the essential need to put off the natural man and turn our hearts to God. I know that it is true. Its words are so powerful to me. I have spent a significant amount of time reading it, and as I have done so my life has been filled with happiness and clarity, and for me, that is a testimony that it is of God not the Devil.

As for anyone who thinks that Joseph Smith "made it up" by reading the Bible and copying things that "sound good" I challenge you to study ancient language and grammar, and then you tell me if a man with a 3rd grade education could do such a thing. I promise you that it is impossible, and that if he had done so, the Book would have been dismissed long ago as a farce.

The Book of Mormon stands firm on its own. What I mean by that, is that I could give you my personal testimony of it until I am blue in the face and it might not do an ounce of good. But if you pick up the Book of Mormon with the intent to understand if it is the word of God written, you will have a beautiful feeling come into your heart. It will speak for itself.

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Joseph Smith:

Another "issue" people have with the Mormon faith is Joseph Smith, the first prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the one who was visited by God and other ministering angels to restore God's truths to His children.

Joseph Smith was a teenage boy who was caught up in the religious debacle of his time. Each religious sector was fighting against the other. He was confused as to who was right, or which church was true. If you can imagine a time of much confusion in your life, apply that to young Joseph.

In a quest for an answer, he went and prayed to God because of the scripture he read in the bible (in James) saying that if any man lacked wisdom let him ask of God who gives to men liberally. Joseph gave this a try, and as he prayed an astounding thing happened. His prayer was clearly, and directly answered!

If you can imagine being 14 and receiving such an immediate, clear answer to your prayers, I am sure you can understand his awe and the heavy weight received into his heart. It is my belief and testimony that Joseph Smith received this answer because, 1) God knew he was humble and willing to accept the answer He gave him, 2) he was a young boy and hadn't formed as many prejudices and staunch beliefs as older people tend to, 3) God knew that Joseph, although imperfect and human like the rest of man kind, wouldn't try to make the restored Gospel about getting glory, recognition, praise, or wealth for himself.

Joseph Smith was an honest, good man. He had his flaws without doubt. But the goodness of this man rivals any hero I have ever heard of, and his lasting impact for good has changed the world.

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Temple Worship:

As Latter-day Saints we worship in temples that are all across the US as well as in other continents. We believe that temple worship is sacred and very important. The reason we do not talk openly about what we do precisely in the temple is because the ordinances performed there are sacred, and because they are sacred it makes it inappropriate to talk about them casually or carelessly.

The work done in temples is to unite families together for eternity, and to help individuals on their road to personal discipleship and worship. We believe that everyone needs these ordinances in their lives to return to live with God again.

While I will not explain what happens in temples, I will share with you my feelings as I am in the temple. Temples are very clean, quiet, reverent places to worship God and contemplate our relationship with Him, things that are going on in our lives, and provides us with the ability to serve our ancestors who have gone before us and haven't had the chance to receive these ordinances that will allow them to progress spiritually as well.

When I am in the temple I feel peace. Like anywhere or doing anything, I do have to work to control my thoughts so I am focused on worshiping rather than the dirty dishes left in my house or the bills we need to pay. When I close out those things and focus on my relationship with God, I feel happy and calm- like everything is right inside my soul. When I am at the temple, I feel that God loves me and wants me to be happy. I also feel that He loves all His children, and I find myself renewing my determination to better reach out to people around me. The more often I go, the more easily I feel the Spirit while I am there. Each time I go I feel like I understand the temple a little better- just like how I feel when I read my scriptures; the more I do, the more I understand of them.

The temple is a beautiful house of worship. A place where I feel like I can rest from my worries and cares. It is a place of light and truth.

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Christ's Nature:

Now, this part is just me speaking freely about religion in general. I felt like I should include it, so here it is!

There is a vast misconception about Christ and His nature. It is true that He is a kind, loving person. It is true that He desires peace and good will between men. It is not true however that He is okay with anything and everything so long as it makes people feel warm and fuzzy and avoid contention. There are laws that He strictly follows and commands us to follow. Picture the account in the Bible of Jesus over throwing the Money Changer's tables, and scattering the animals there to be bought for sacrifice. He was fierce and to the point- what they were doing was not following God's law.

While it is important to be kind and loving to all those around us, it is also essential to draw a rigid line that follows God's doctrine. It is okay to not be morally permissive. God is not that way. His laws do not change and it is because He loves us and knows all laws by which He created us.

I am being a Christian by not following every trendy change that comes along; and yes, I am thinking specifically about marriage.

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Gay Marriage:

The rights for gay/ lesbian people are on the forefront currently. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ and as a sister to a gay brother, I can say that we hold nothing, absolutely nothing, against people who feel same sex attraction. Where we, as Latter-day Saints, draw the line is between feeling homosexual feelings and acting on those feelings.

I am baffled why some people feel same sex attraction, or I guess why God would allow people to feel this way if it is so clearly against His instruction that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. (I told you I would be real and honest, this is me being so.) In so many ways it would be easier to go along with allowing homosexual people to get married, but I feel strongly that I have to do the harder thing and stand for what God has taught us. Do I want homosexuals to be happy? Yes!! I so do! Do I agree with their choice to act upon their homosexuality? No, I don't. Do I look down on them? Absolutely not, I just have a different view point.

I feel compassionately for people in this situation. While it is difficult for me to understand why God would create people with homosexual feelings, I do know that He loves all His children: the homosexual to the heterosexual, and our choices matter significantly to Him.

Like I mentioned, my brother is homosexual. He is one of the most incredible people you will meet. He is more genuine and real than many, and has talents and skills that I learn from constantly. Our stance on gay marriage is one that causes us both sadness. I want my brother to be afforded every happiness in the world. I also know though that we have to live by certain laws (God's laws). It is difficult and makes me feel torn: torn between immediate happiness and that peace and ease that comes with going with the flow, and between knowing God's standards and the eternal consequences for ignoring Him. I have faith that by staying on the Lord's side of the issue the right things will happen, but I do worry about my brother loving me all the same. I am sure you can understand my feelings.


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The Word of Wisdom- Why Mormons Don't Smoke, Drink, or Chew:

When people find out that we don't drink, most are very respectful of that. In high school I was told I would never make it- that surely I was going to go wild some day and hit the bottle. So far I haven't, nor do I have any plans to.

Back at the early beginnings of the church, Emma (Joseph Smith's wife) and the other women were sick and tired of cleaning up the chew the men would leave on the floors after church. She went to Joseph and asked for help. This caused Joseph to ponder on the subject, and because he was thinking about it, God revealed that tobacco, alcoholic beverages, and strong hot drinks were not good for the body. This was before the scientific back up was done, and now it all makes sense spiritually and scientifically.

For me, I have never felt like I have lost out on anything because I don't drink. I have never done something I can't remember, and when sorrows come I hit my knees rather than the bottle for solutions. My body feels healthy and strong. When I am with my friends socializing, we talk about real things that matter and goof off like anyone else.

The main reason for staying away from alcohol and the like is protection: protection from conspiring people that would seek to do you harm (as a woman I am really thankful for this because it puts me in better places- places were I am less likely to be attacked or used for my sexiness, haha, but seriously...). It also protects your physical body. The excess amounts of alcohol consumed does terrible things to your liver and doesn't do much to help your smell ;) Now, one might say, "but I don't drink that much to throw out my liver, why not just a little bit of alcohol for you Mormons?" I would respond that it's the same reason why if you're on a diet from sweets you shouldn't sit in a candy shop and say, "just one..." Once you start it's too hard to stop.

Another reason for abstaining from alcohol, smoking, drugs, and the like is because when addiction sets in, part of your agency (your free ability to choose) is taken away. You are now dependent on a substance for your body to feel like it can function. These foreign substances also cause your internal organs extra strain and harm and prevents you from living a healthy, full life.

I have seen the difference it makes living by these principles. My great grandfather was an alcoholic. My grandpa does not have the best memories of his father. Much of the time they could have spent together was waisted because his father was too drunk and therefore too angry to be involved in the family's activities. I have seen my grandpa weep at this. It is not something I want for my family, it is not the type of person I want to be, and it is not the type of person I want to be married to.

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The Priesthood:

When Christ was on the earth, the Priesthood (authority to act in God's name or bless as He would bless) was put on the earth. Christ and His 12 disciples went about preaching the word of God, blessing and healing the sick, and comforting the afflicted.

During what is called the Dark Ages, the Priesthood authority was lost from the earth. Widespread disbelief and contentions arose and the authority of God to act in His name was removed from men. When Joseph Smith restored the Lord's church, so came the proper authority to act in God's name. This is a very sacred responsibility.

Young men when they are 12 years old are given the Priesthood. They are able to officiate in certain roles like passing the sacrament we partake of each Sunday. As they mature, they are given more and more responsibilities within the Priesthood. This is to help them grow in their duty to God and to teach them early how to serve and look out for those they are around.

The Priesthood is essential for baptism, the sacrament, temple covenants, blessings to heal the sick, blessings of comfort/direction, and baby blessings.

As you read the next portion, understand that it may be a paradigm shift for you. I will try to communicate the comfort and natural feelings associated with Priesthood blessings if you are willing to listen with an open mind.

My dad, as I mentioned, is a member of the church and is a Priesthood holder. He is a kind, loving man who watches over and provides for his family diligently. Every year before going back to school, my dad would give each of us a Father's Blessing. This blessing was of terrific comfort. To do so, he would place his hands on my head and offer a prayer that was directed by the Spirit- that means that the words he spoke came from inspiration to his mind, they were not planned out or thought of before hand. The Lord communicated through my father what I needed at that time. At times he would communicate that my Father in Heaven wanted me to know that He loves me and is grateful for my decisions. He would explain warnings, and bless me to chose those who I dated wisely. All were things that I needed at that time.

One time I was really torn up. I had just broken up with a boyfriend I really liked and was struggling to understand why we couldn't be together and why I couldn't get over it all. My dad came into my room one night after I had asked to skip dinner to be alone. He came and sat at the end of my bed and we talked about the things that were bothering me. My dad has always had the best counsel and advice for me. He listed to my concerns, and then I asked him for a blessing. He gave me a blessing of comfort. I felt peace inside me after the blessing and hugged my dad for a long time. In the weeks to come, my heart mended because I knew that there was greater promise for me out there because of the blessing.

Since being married to my sweetheart, Richard, he too has been able to do the same thing for me. When our son, William, was born, he was given a name and a Priesthood blessing at church. Richard orated what the Spirit dictated. It was a short, sweet blessing that will guide William as he grows.

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Women In the Church:

Because the Priesthood is only give to the men, some feminists think it is unfair. I will tell you that I have never once felt under valued or significant in this church because of it. There are many ways women serve in this church, and it would not function without us.

Women serve in many different varieties, here are just a few:

-Primary callings
•from being in the presidency which makes sure lessons are taught, activities are put on, etc, to being a teacher

-Sunday school teacher
•from teaching old people to the youth in the church, women can teach all ages

-Sacrament meeting talks
•each Sunday members of the congregation get up and speak about gospel topics, women included

-Leading and playing music
•during our sacrament services, primary meetings, relief society, and young women's music is always needed!

-Relief society
•again, from being in the presidency, a teacher, a visiting teacher, an activity coordinator women sere in these roles

-Young women's
•women lead the younger girls in the ward in their lessons, activities, and projects.

(in our church each area like primary, young women's, and relief society are made up of a presidency of three women as well as a secretary, then each Sunday there is a teacher for each different class. If you do the math that's a lot of callings right there for just the women!)

Those are just a few ways women serve in the Mormon church! We are busy women! There is so much that we can do. I never feel diminished because I am a woman Mormon. My husband and I counsel together over everything: how to spend money, what job to take, when to have a baby, fitness goals, frustrations, you name it. He is kind and unselfish and we both give and take.

I celebrate being a women in the LDS church- I have so much opportunity if I want it.



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As I have more time, I may continue to update and add on to what I have shared, including more topics of interest. I accept and encourage all and/or any questions about my Mormon faith. While I am imperfect in many ways, I hope my life can help you see what Mormonism is all about. I apologize for all things I have done incorrectly. I am trying, aren't we all?