I wish I had a constant level headed perspective about me. Occasionally I get overwhelmed by the onslaught of tasks to do– especially the ones I repeatedly do throughout the day: dishes, picking up toys, meal prep, etc. The last few days have been a complete blessing though, because I have been able to see past the to-do list to what that to-do list means.
Rich and I often take on hefty projects... Sometimes knowing the time and effort commitment, sometimes not. Our recent project has been painting our entry way, kitchen area, and half bath. (Ya, this is one of those "we bit off more than we can chew!" projects.) Despite the chaotic mess of it all, I have been blessed with some beautiful "ah-ha!" moments.
Last night as we were working on finishing touches for painting, I stopped to clean up the total disaster William had made with his toys. As I was cleaning I thought, "Wow, Will had such a fun time pulling out all of his toys and playing with them in so many areas of the house." It made me feel glad that he is exploring and adventuring about his safe house. Once I had all the toys put away, I looked at the line up of trucks, stuffed animals, and Lego blocks and thought, "Wow! William is so blessed. Look at all the fun toys he has."
My body was aching and exhausted, yet I felt a strong sense of gratitude and pride. Gratitude that God has blessed us with a great job, home, and opportunity. Pride because we have worked to do our part of the deal to merit blessings and financial freedom. I felt it a blessing all of the sudden to even be able to work on long, laborious home-projects. It means we have a home! I can be sore-bodied over that!
As I sit here typing, I'm looking over at the bathroom mirror that is laying on the couch until it can be reinstalled. There are lip marks, finger marks, and slobber spots all over it. In my mind I know I'll be cleaning that bad boy up, but more prominent is knowing who all those marks are from. William got a kick out of looking at himself in the mirror. He thought he was so funny kissing his little boy reflection, patting his own reflected hand, and trying to figure out where the kid was. He giggled and giggled over it. I'd say it's totally worth the Windex and paper towel.
After putting William to bed, laughing hysterically over a plastic elephant who romps around his crib making elephant noises which result in tickles and little boy laughter, I headed to my bedroom to grab a few things. My check list of "I really need to clean this..." was working over time (I told you, I'm behind from these dang projects!) , I had to stop and laugh as I looked at the toys in my tub used to distract Will long enough for me to get ready. I thought about how he played with all the buckets and cups and thought, "it's totally worth the clean up."
I realize there are prices to pay when allowing William to explore and play in the variety of ways he does. I am thankful for letting go of perfection and letting the messes be made for the sake of one infectiously happy little boy.
I hope that next time my body aches like a 90 year-old, I can remember these moments of perspective, and feel relieved that I have a beautiful home to maintain, a charming husband who is blessed with a job to provide it all for us, and that the toys are because I let a little boy discover that day.
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