When my sister got married I thought my world ended. I was around 16 and all the sudden my BFF and I had a third wheel; little did I realize it was ME who became the third wheel, not him! With pouting and tears we resolved the issues, but things were different, they had to be. Our life circumstances continued to grow different as my sister welcomed their first baby, then second into our friendship. They were the cutest, most charming babies who had me eating out of the palms of their itsy-bitsy palms! But things were different, my sister was in a whole new ball game than I was, and yet, it was okay.
Once I got married, my sister and I clicked again on a deeper level. We had more things in common again, more ideas to share with each other, more applicable stories to sympathize with or laugh over. And once I had my first baby we reached our innate equilibrium again, eureka! My sister has been my guiding star, if you will, on all things marriage and baby, and it has been incredibly life saving! I have loved her advice, encouragement, and words of sympathy from "having been there." All the amount of difference between us in the in between phases of life don't matter any more. They were a small moment in the big picture of life, and I am thankful she or I never called it quits on our friendship just because our phase of life didn't sync up at the moment. In my opinion, life is ever changing, so be patient.
As I am sitting here rocking my sick, teething, darling boy, I think of how many nights my sister did this before I did, and how many nights my dearest friends will do it after I do. It's such a blessing to be able to have each other to learn from and lean on. Nothing is better than knowing you have wingmen while you're in the trenches of motherhood (or wifehood, careerhood, etc).
Right now my days are filled from sun up (or earlier!) til sun down (or later) taking care of two other people; time is not my own. My wants, my needs come second to two (or three if we're counting Rich!) very wonderful boys. It won't always be like this. I won't always have these sweet angels under my care, so I need to do the best that I can while I am in the moment, and place them where they belong. As a consequence, I am not as good as I would like to be at staying in frequent contact with all of my wonderful friends who will always mean so much to me. I am so thankful though for the constant support and encouragement of these dear friends, no matter how close or windy our paths go. It's a true treasure to have dear friends who are always there to rejoice in the happy moments and sorrow with you in the sad.
I am thankful for this phase of life where I get to be a mom. Motherhood is a double sided coin. You can't have the good without the bad. I feel like often times kids are looked upon as restrictive and limiting, but never in my life have I felt more fulfilled than I do now as a mother. There are plenty of things Rich and I don't do now that we have kids, but our goals are different, and the reward is greater than it ever could be if we were just living for our own enjoyment. We get to build up a future for two incredible boys who we get to be the parents of; how awesome! I think the hard stuff about parenting—the up all night with a sick baby, the endless crying and tantrums, the rule setting and rule enforcing—are talked about so much because we want two things; 1) to know we're not alone, and 2) we humans need sympathy, and it's easier to talk about the "bad" stuff to get reactions than the good, true fact. I also think the really good moments of parenting aren't talked about as much for two reasons; 1) we don't want to come off as braggadocios, and 2) the sweet moments are tender to our hearts, and personal- not everyone needs to know the "wins" we get in the day.
There is no way to adequately describe the moment you get to meet your child for the first time, the moment when you break down crying to God because you feel inadequate on every front, the moment you witness a "first" of your child, the moment you get so angry you put yourself in time out, the moment you get to hug all the owies goodbye, or the moment you make it to bedtime and get to watch your littles drift off into quiet slumber. This phase of life is different, it's hard, but hands down it's the best yet!
I am thankful for friends who, whether in this phase or not, support and encourage me, and who hold out for the days when we are in total sync. Life is a treasure with good friends to share your heart with. I am thankful I have found such wonderful people to share the details of my life with.
God is good to me.
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