Big Wonders

On our move to Las Vegas, we met our best friends Whittlee and Stewart in Flagstaff, AZ. They are the world's greatest friends! It's not often that you find couple friends where the wives gel, hubbys gel, and hubbys and wives gel; so we consider ourselves incredibly fortunate!

We didn't have a lot of time, but we drove with our sweet friends to see the Grand Canyon. It was worth the extra 3 hours of driving!! Not only was the company great, but we got to see one of God's breathtaking beauties.

As we drove the rest of the way into Las Vegas today, seeing all the rocky formations made me turn introspective. When I look at these beautiful creations, I can't help but believe there is a God. I can't help but believe He created all things. It all adds up to me; and I am so thankful I get to be on this earth to enjoy such wonders.

There is beauty in unexpected things.

Love is Hairy

Rich came home with news that a friend from back home unexpectedly lost his wife to a sudden illness. Our hearts mutually broke. I don't know the guy or his family, but I haven't been able to stop myself from saying silent prayers for them, and counting my blessings to have my family all intact.

Marriage is a blessing- even including all the trials. It is the ultimate fulfillment to share yourself 100% with the person who makes you feel complete. You share the ups and the downs; the in betweens and the I-don't-knows. You share the victorious moments, and the glum doldrums.

It can be scary and tricky to give yourself so completely to someone. True love takes work and practice. It's hard refining yourself to think the best of your spouse; especially when the world programs us to think the worst.

Love is hairy. I've seen seasoned vets still practicing how to do it right. It gives me inspiration to never stop trying to show my spouse how much I love him.

Tragic news is a good reminder to love better. It's a good time to evaluate actions, intentions, and goals. It's a good time to break out that photo album, reminisce, and make out like hormonally driven teenagers ;) I feel a little silly writing that... But it's true! I don't want to forget what those lips feel like against mine; I want my adoration, love, and complete fidelity to spill out of each long smooch.

It is a rich blessing to me to be married to such a wonderful person. He fills my life with flavor and interest. I've come to depend on him for my happiness and sanity. We've had time to see each other at our weakest moments- individually and as a couple; and we've had time to see each other at our highest peeks- individually and as a couple. I'm glad love is work. I'm glad it requires something of myself to draw us close together: it's a long term investment that way.

Tonight, I'm counting my blessings and finding my husband at the top of my chart :)

Time Out

Motherhood makes real the demands of children. It's easy to get frustrated, overwhelmed and exhausted. It's hard to remember patience, especially when you're low on sleep and have a cranky baby.

Rich and I have been talking a lot about what a special trust it is to be parents. The future of our children is largely dictated by the experiences they have under our care and the examples we set for them. It can be intimidating to think that I have that much influence over someone whom I love so much. It is indeed humbling.

A lot of motherhood requires the self control and self awareness to realize when a situation vs a person is bothering you, and the awareness that your perspective isn't the only one to take into account. Personally, I've come to the conclusion that "mommy time-outs" are the best!

Sometimes I get so caught up in my own frustrations, that I need to take a break (even 30 seconds) away from whatever is bothering me and just breathe. It has saved me countless times from being a bad mommy, or an off the hinge nut-case.

William has been extremely clingy lately. I've resigned to the fact that I am a human jungle gym for the next while, until he enters a new stage.

Yesterday was my breaking day. We are in the middle of a move, I was extra exhausted, and we started the day off whiney and clingy. I had no juice in my box; no gas in my tank. Yet my baby required premium and 100%, no sugar added. Perfect combination.

As I battled my fatigue and irritation, I prayed to be able to meet William's needs. I prayed to be a good mommy and to be blessed with inspiration to know how to help my baby.

My prayer gave me the strength to get through the day; although it didn't turn it into sunshine and roses. I busted out my trusty baby book and sought answers to returning my happy baby and personal sanity. I found a few helpful tips, took several mommy time-outs, and with the help of my hubby we ended the day with all of us exhausted and needy.

Today I wanted to be different. I decided to focus more on Will's curiosity, so I described everything I was doing in our morning routine. I preempted Will's whining that always begins when I get myself breakfast, and placed him in his high chair with a yummy cracker. I ate in peace!! I cleaned him up, talked to him, and then set him down with NO crying (hooray!!)

This was a simple morning, but it filled me with joy and relief. It felt like a merciful answer to my prayers. I know Will's whininess will come and go, but today I just needed a win. I needed a successful morning to kick off my day. I'm so grateful I was blessed with it. It made sneaking in and finding my bear all snug and conked out that much more fulfilling and heart warming.

I love being a mommy, hard times and all.

Little Evidences

The end of the day can be relieving some days. It's a nice time for me to get things done and have some R&R. Often times the last thing I want to do is clean, but more often than not it's exactly what I need to do in order to keep my house from looking like a disaster zone.

Much of my cleaning now encompasses activities done with William throughout the day.

Since he was born eight months ago, I haven't stopped feeling that warm pride surge in my heart when I look about my house and see the small evidences that he's in my life. The once pile of books now scattered across the floor, the broken candle stick I didn't put away before he found it, the poopy diapers that need to be placed in the toxic waste basket (aka dumpster), the necklace coated in drool because it was the one thing to keep him happy and interested.

Tonight while getting ready for bed, I looked into our tub to see his toys and bath soap laying exactly where he had left them, his toys in a heaping mess by the couch, his bib laying on his high chair tray; I felt my heart melt all over.

I often wonder how I'm so lucky. How did I get to be the mother of such a sweet boy? My heart thrills at the blessing it is to be a mother, messes and all.

It's easy to get caught up in the mundane monotony of life, but if I wasn't here at the end of the day cleaning up these messes, what else would I be doing, and what miracles would I be missing out on?

I love the evidences that I am a mother. I love the slew of toys sitting on my living room floor. I love the messy bib sitting on the tray waiting to be cleaned. I love the books riddled with rhymes and silly pictures.

Most of all I love the baby who plays with the toys. I love the baby who smears the food on the crafted bib. I love the baby who reaches for the books with the silly pictures and rhymes.

I love the baby who made me a mother, who fills my life with hope, joy, and purpose.

My heart is smitten.