I know joy.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
The Grass Is Greener Where?
When we lived in Atlantic, Iowa a year ago, our thoughts were, "we can't wait to move to the next place!" When we lived in Eden Prairie, Minnesota a few months later, despite enjoying ourselves there a lot, our thoughts were, "man! We can't wait to get moving to the next project (to get out of this hotel!)" Once we moved to Dodge City, Kansas a few months later we thought, "man... The next move is coming right up. We can't wait to get out of podunk Dodge!" And now that we are settled down in Las Vegas, Nevada for an indefinitely long period of time we think back and say, "aw... I miss this about Atlantic..." or "Remember this about Minnesota..." or "I miss so and so from Dodge."
Friday night we watched, "Midnight In Paris" for our date. We both really enjoyed the movie, and took away from the it to make our present our ideal time. Our abundant moving was a hassle, and I am still very grateful for the opportunity to be grounded to one city for a long time; but we gained more than we could have imagine from all our moving around. We had a lot of ideal experiences while being traveling gypsies. I know we recognized people's friendliness and kindness to us then, but I don't think we realized how out of the ordinary it was. We didn't realize how many gems we would encounter, and how their compassionate love and sincere desires to know us would impact our hearts.
I am like my sweet grandma, Beth. She and I need friends like flowers need sunshine to flourish. Our permanent situation hasn't brought us the quick friendships we anticipated (like in all the other areas we've lived). I struggle privately (and now publicly...) with this a lot. It is consistently in my petitions to the Lord to know how to make real connections with people, or maybe even A connection at all with them. I have been blessed with small moments of friendship, for which I know are heaven sent tender mercies to me. Although struggles are never comfortable it has helped me to gain a deeper love and gratitude to all those who have opened their hearts to my sweet little family, and who have taken us in without a backwards glance. We have received so much love and warmth that I have a tremendously full heart. The grass has always been green in our pasture; sometimes we have just been too close to the greenery to recognize its vibrancy.
I have yet to receive a miracle solution to my petitions to God; but I know he is listening and will help meet my needs by either changing my heart and giving me new eyes to see through, or by helping me to be proactive in a new way that I have yet to figure out and therefore will lead us to the real sincere friends we need (and who hopefully need us as well); And in the mean time, I am thankful for the green pasture we do have; for all of our incredible, loving family and friends who we are not privileged to live close to at this time.
It is a blessing and curse to have such incredible people in our lives who live just too far away!!
Our pasture is green, and I do recognize God's love and tender mercies performed on our behalf... I am a blessed girl to have God care for me.
Friday night we watched, "Midnight In Paris" for our date. We both really enjoyed the movie, and took away from the it to make our present our ideal time. Our abundant moving was a hassle, and I am still very grateful for the opportunity to be grounded to one city for a long time; but we gained more than we could have imagine from all our moving around. We had a lot of ideal experiences while being traveling gypsies. I know we recognized people's friendliness and kindness to us then, but I don't think we realized how out of the ordinary it was. We didn't realize how many gems we would encounter, and how their compassionate love and sincere desires to know us would impact our hearts.
I am like my sweet grandma, Beth. She and I need friends like flowers need sunshine to flourish. Our permanent situation hasn't brought us the quick friendships we anticipated (like in all the other areas we've lived). I struggle privately (and now publicly...) with this a lot. It is consistently in my petitions to the Lord to know how to make real connections with people, or maybe even A connection at all with them. I have been blessed with small moments of friendship, for which I know are heaven sent tender mercies to me. Although struggles are never comfortable it has helped me to gain a deeper love and gratitude to all those who have opened their hearts to my sweet little family, and who have taken us in without a backwards glance. We have received so much love and warmth that I have a tremendously full heart. The grass has always been green in our pasture; sometimes we have just been too close to the greenery to recognize its vibrancy.
I have yet to receive a miracle solution to my petitions to God; but I know he is listening and will help meet my needs by either changing my heart and giving me new eyes to see through, or by helping me to be proactive in a new way that I have yet to figure out and therefore will lead us to the real sincere friends we need (and who hopefully need us as well); And in the mean time, I am thankful for the green pasture we do have; for all of our incredible, loving family and friends who we are not privileged to live close to at this time.
It is a blessing and curse to have such incredible people in our lives who live just too far away!!
Our pasture is green, and I do recognize God's love and tender mercies performed on our behalf... I am a blessed girl to have God care for me.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Simply
With every move we make, I find myself in a drifters state for a period while I assimilate to my new climate, getting to know the area and the people. I have a lot of things that I feel passionately about, as well as things that I feel particularly interested in, and during this time of assimilation I feel like those things are brought to the forefront and I assess more honestly whether they are things for me or things I have started to do because of people around me. (Not sure if that makes sense or not; I just mean that my hobbies and interests can be influenced by the people I am around).
One thing that I always come back to is the fact that I'm what I call a simplist. I like things to be simple, raw, and real. I like nothing more than to have a conversation with someone where my real side comes out, and where we aren't tip toeing around trying to get to know each other. I like talking about things that matter, I like being honest about things that are hard to deal with (like adjusting to a new schedule ever set by the baby in the house), then followed up with the simple joys of life- like watching Will play by himself in contented joy, or getting to comment on how much I appreciate my hubby for working hard.
I feel like it's easy to define ourselves by the things around us. The "stuff" in our house, the clothes we wear, the activities our kids are involved in. And while all of these things are fun and in their own way more or less important, I think what really matters is the raw individual; or in my case, realizing that all the things I like really are the things that just accentuate my personal individuality.
When I was an older elementary- junior high student I was very hard on myself. I never felt like I measured up; I was never pretty or skinny enough, or liked or popular enough. I was self absorbed and floundering for acceptance. It took me a while to understand that I already had all the good things a girl could ask for. I relate it directly to a tender, merciful God who stepped in as I turned to Him and showed me all the good things about myself. It was then, and only then, that I realized my worth came from Him not my peers, that I didn't have to be a size 2 to be cute and pretty, and that it didn't matter one bit what my peers thought of me; I am a beautiful daughter of God with tremendous potential to learn, become, and influence others.
As women it is easy to stack our talents against each other; to feel like in order to be a good wife, mom, or friend (or visiting teacher...) we have to make world class meals, have our houses always spic and span, throw immaculate birthday parities for our kids (who would be just as happy with a cardboard box!), or bring insane goodies every time we go out to visit a friend/ sister in the ward. To all of that I say (excuse my language...) screw it! In my humble opinion it doesn't matter an ounce. The real things that matter are the individual gifts we are cultivating. Are we doing the best with what we have? Are we perusing hobbies because we are sincerely interested in them? Are we being kind to our bodies and our talents by not obsessing over every flaw or imperfection? Are we trying to cultivate our relationship with God and Christ? Are we putting aside the pile of to-do's and spending necessary play time with the little ones who matter most?
When it comes down to it, the thing I want my kids to remember most are that I was grounded to the things that matter most; I didn't spend excess amounts of time worrying about my hair, make up, and clothes, I didn't put Facebook or pintrest above getting down and playing Legos with them. I want them to remember me doing the simple things to make them feel loved; like making them special dinners, letting them eat sugary treats (because I am pretty sure sugar won't kill them ;)), or laying in bed with them listening to them tell me stories. I want these things to be what matter most. And I forever want my relationship with my husband to be at the forefront. I want our home to be beautiful, but most of all a safe place for our kids and their friends where we can gather and feel the protection of our loving God.
I want to stay grounded to the raw things of life; the things that won't ever loose their value. Because when it comes down to it, the most pure and simple thing about me is that I am a daughter of God, and am on His errand to raise his spirit children and love His spirit son whom I am blessed to have as my husband.
One thing that I always come back to is the fact that I'm what I call a simplist. I like things to be simple, raw, and real. I like nothing more than to have a conversation with someone where my real side comes out, and where we aren't tip toeing around trying to get to know each other. I like talking about things that matter, I like being honest about things that are hard to deal with (like adjusting to a new schedule ever set by the baby in the house), then followed up with the simple joys of life- like watching Will play by himself in contented joy, or getting to comment on how much I appreciate my hubby for working hard.
I feel like it's easy to define ourselves by the things around us. The "stuff" in our house, the clothes we wear, the activities our kids are involved in. And while all of these things are fun and in their own way more or less important, I think what really matters is the raw individual; or in my case, realizing that all the things I like really are the things that just accentuate my personal individuality.
When I was an older elementary- junior high student I was very hard on myself. I never felt like I measured up; I was never pretty or skinny enough, or liked or popular enough. I was self absorbed and floundering for acceptance. It took me a while to understand that I already had all the good things a girl could ask for. I relate it directly to a tender, merciful God who stepped in as I turned to Him and showed me all the good things about myself. It was then, and only then, that I realized my worth came from Him not my peers, that I didn't have to be a size 2 to be cute and pretty, and that it didn't matter one bit what my peers thought of me; I am a beautiful daughter of God with tremendous potential to learn, become, and influence others.
As women it is easy to stack our talents against each other; to feel like in order to be a good wife, mom, or friend (or visiting teacher...) we have to make world class meals, have our houses always spic and span, throw immaculate birthday parities for our kids (who would be just as happy with a cardboard box!), or bring insane goodies every time we go out to visit a friend/ sister in the ward. To all of that I say (excuse my language...) screw it! In my humble opinion it doesn't matter an ounce. The real things that matter are the individual gifts we are cultivating. Are we doing the best with what we have? Are we perusing hobbies because we are sincerely interested in them? Are we being kind to our bodies and our talents by not obsessing over every flaw or imperfection? Are we trying to cultivate our relationship with God and Christ? Are we putting aside the pile of to-do's and spending necessary play time with the little ones who matter most?
When it comes down to it, the thing I want my kids to remember most are that I was grounded to the things that matter most; I didn't spend excess amounts of time worrying about my hair, make up, and clothes, I didn't put Facebook or pintrest above getting down and playing Legos with them. I want them to remember me doing the simple things to make them feel loved; like making them special dinners, letting them eat sugary treats (because I am pretty sure sugar won't kill them ;)), or laying in bed with them listening to them tell me stories. I want these things to be what matter most. And I forever want my relationship with my husband to be at the forefront. I want our home to be beautiful, but most of all a safe place for our kids and their friends where we can gather and feel the protection of our loving God.
I want to stay grounded to the raw things of life; the things that won't ever loose their value. Because when it comes down to it, the most pure and simple thing about me is that I am a daughter of God, and am on His errand to raise his spirit children and love His spirit son whom I am blessed to have as my husband.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
A Little Experiment
Around the time William was born, I made a goal for myself to hold off on social media (Internet, tv, or even a book I'm reading for fun) until I have read my scriptures for the day. I haven't been perfect at it, but that's not the important thing! I've started to notice a huge blessing it brings, besides the blessing of starting my day off right with the spirit.
The mornings where I promptly sit down and read my scriptures after putting Will down for his morning nap, William sleeps significantly longer (we're talking an hour or more longer... Ya!) It is incredible to me! This morning I tried to put William down for his morning nap with the intention of working on getting some pictures ready to print (see, I told you I'm not 100% on my goal!) I began working on the pictures and William was bawling, which is not typical for him. He finally fell asleep, but then a few minutes later he was bawling again. I thought, "Geeze! What is wrong?? I know he's tired... What should I do?" Then I looked at what I was doing and realized the problem. I put my picture project on hold, grabbed my scriptures and sat down to read. Immediately (no joke) William stopped crying and settled in for his nap. That was at 9:30ish, and it's now 12. I told ya, his naps are incredible when I do what's most important first: READ MY SCRIPTURES!
A part of my analytical side wants to say, "that's just by chance that Will naps better when you read your scriptures first..." but the deeper, more spiritually connected side of me doesn't let me dismiss this huge blessing as nothing. I know God blesses us as we put Him first. It follows His laws and His order; when we place Him first He can't withhold the natural blessings that come because of our choices.
The mornings where I promptly sit down and read my scriptures after putting Will down for his morning nap, William sleeps significantly longer (we're talking an hour or more longer... Ya!) It is incredible to me! This morning I tried to put William down for his morning nap with the intention of working on getting some pictures ready to print (see, I told you I'm not 100% on my goal!) I began working on the pictures and William was bawling, which is not typical for him. He finally fell asleep, but then a few minutes later he was bawling again. I thought, "Geeze! What is wrong?? I know he's tired... What should I do?" Then I looked at what I was doing and realized the problem. I put my picture project on hold, grabbed my scriptures and sat down to read. Immediately (no joke) William stopped crying and settled in for his nap. That was at 9:30ish, and it's now 12. I told ya, his naps are incredible when I do what's most important first: READ MY SCRIPTURES!
A part of my analytical side wants to say, "that's just by chance that Will naps better when you read your scriptures first..." but the deeper, more spiritually connected side of me doesn't let me dismiss this huge blessing as nothing. I know God blesses us as we put Him first. It follows His laws and His order; when we place Him first He can't withhold the natural blessings that come because of our choices.
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