One thing that I always come back to is the fact that I'm what I call a simplist. I like things to be simple, raw, and real. I like nothing more than to have a conversation with someone where my real side comes out, and where we aren't tip toeing around trying to get to know each other. I like talking about things that matter, I like being honest about things that are hard to deal with (like adjusting to a new schedule ever set by the baby in the house), then followed up with the simple joys of life- like watching Will play by himself in contented joy, or getting to comment on how much I appreciate my hubby for working hard.
I feel like it's easy to define ourselves by the things around us. The "stuff" in our house, the clothes we wear, the activities our kids are involved in. And while all of these things are fun and in their own way more or less important, I think what really matters is the raw individual; or in my case, realizing that all the things I like really are the things that just accentuate my personal individuality.
When I was an older elementary- junior high student I was very hard on myself. I never felt like I measured up; I was never pretty or skinny enough, or liked or popular enough. I was self absorbed and floundering for acceptance. It took me a while to understand that I already had all the good things a girl could ask for. I relate it directly to a tender, merciful God who stepped in as I turned to Him and showed me all the good things about myself. It was then, and only then, that I realized my worth came from Him not my peers, that I didn't have to be a size 2 to be cute and pretty, and that it didn't matter one bit what my peers thought of me; I am a beautiful daughter of God with tremendous potential to learn, become, and influence others.
As women it is easy to stack our talents against each other; to feel like in order to be a good wife, mom, or friend (or visiting teacher...) we have to make world class meals, have our houses always spic and span, throw immaculate birthday parities for our kids (who would be just as happy with a cardboard box!), or bring insane goodies every time we go out to visit a friend/ sister in the ward. To all of that I say (excuse my language...) screw it! In my humble opinion it doesn't matter an ounce. The real things that matter are the individual gifts we are cultivating. Are we doing the best with what we have? Are we perusing hobbies because we are sincerely interested in them? Are we being kind to our bodies and our talents by not obsessing over every flaw or imperfection? Are we trying to cultivate our relationship with God and Christ? Are we putting aside the pile of to-do's and spending necessary play time with the little ones who matter most?
When it comes down to it, the thing I want my kids to remember most are that I was grounded to the things that matter most; I didn't spend excess amounts of time worrying about my hair, make up, and clothes, I didn't put Facebook or pintrest above getting down and playing Legos with them. I want them to remember me doing the simple things to make them feel loved; like making them special dinners, letting them eat sugary treats (because I am pretty sure sugar won't kill them ;)), or laying in bed with them listening to them tell me stories. I want these things to be what matter most. And I forever want my relationship with my husband to be at the forefront. I want our home to be beautiful, but most of all a safe place for our kids and their friends where we can gather and feel the protection of our loving God.
I want to stay grounded to the raw things of life; the things that won't ever loose their value. Because when it comes down to it, the most pure and simple thing about me is that I am a daughter of God, and am on His errand to raise his spirit children and love His spirit son whom I am blessed to have as my husband.
AMEN!!!!
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