Our Bodies: A Gift From God

Just as a quick preface, this isn't a self-depreciating post. I do feel good about myself and my health. Because I am a woman though, there are innumerable ways in which my contentment tries to be robbed from me. I am consistently turning to the Lord in thanks for what I have and am able to do, and pleading for eyes to see through the lies and deceptions that are joy destroying and God-replacing. I hope this helps you understand the unspoken feelings behind this post; and if not, trust that I, like you, am simply trying to be a voice for truth.
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A few months ago I was getting caught up on one of my new favorite shows, and because I had immediate ability to watch episode after episode, I found myself glued to the show, trying to shift off my duties as a mom so that I could find out what happened next. It was a little sickening to watch that much TV, but I just *had* to know what would happen! One day I was reading my scriptures, and I came across a verse that mentioned the word "temperance," and I thought to myself, "you know what? I don't really understand that word, so I'm going to look it up." This is what I found; temperance means, "not extreme in behavior." Immediately I had that sinking feeling, "oh boy, I am NOT temperate!" My back to back episode watching was in deed very extreme, unhealthy, and unsustainable. I had to stop. And so I did, after the season was over. Yep, I didn't do what I needed to do right away; I was blatantly being the opposite of what I needed to be. And once it was all done, I was disappointed in myself. I had gained little by gratifying my immediate desire for closure on a made-up, not real, not-worth-my-whole-day show! I had some repenting to do... And some character redefining to do.

Thankfully bad personal moments, like above, have their redeeming qualities too. I have taken to the word "temperance" and looked how to apply it in more of my life. I understand now why the Lord has directed us to be "temperate in all things" (Alma 38:10).

One aspect of life I see being abused is our bodies. Satan's unchanging desire is for us to misuse our bodies; and he does it in a way that is like the wolf in sheep's clothing; starting with a good desire and turning it into a ravenous cancer. Because it is a concern of mine to be "temperate in all things," and to be kind to my body while promoting healthy habits, and also because I see a great trend of intemperance (yes, that means, "excessive in behavior") when it comes to our bodies, I have done a special scripture study to help me understand better how to walk the right line. My study has lead me to powerful scriptures. Scriptures that add to my basic knowledge which is:
-Our bodies are a gift from God
-Our bodies are meant to enhance our spiritual qualities, and aid us in serving the Lord
-Our bodies are meant to help us experience joy (2 Nephi 2:25)
-Our bodies are patterned after the image of God (Moses 2:27)
-Our bodies are to help bring spirit sons and daughters of Heavenly Father into this world (Moses 2).

Doctrine and Covenants 12:8 teaches, "And no one can assist in this work except he shall be humble and full of love, having faith, hope, and charity, being temperate in all things, whatsoever shall be entrusted to his care." God has blessed us with our bodies. We are entrusted with the care of both our physical bodies and our spirits. Both enhance the other. The adversary knows this. From the beginning with Adam and Eve, he has worked consistently to get men (and women, of course) to misuse their bodies in two prominent ways: abuse or neglect. The area of my focus is that of abuse.

"Confounded be all they that serve graven images that boast themselves of idols..." (Psalms 97:7). The word "graven" means, "cut or impressed into a surface \ cut into a desired shape." The other day I saw a picture (one of many innumerable images of its kind) of a shirtless guy doing some crazy workout with comments about getting ripped like him, to "hit it hard," and it dawned on me, "these are graven images..." Could it be that we are so focused on making ourselves look a certain "shape" that we have "impressed" that image into the surface of our minds, and are now serving the image as our false master? Could it be that we are, as the scripture said, "confounded" or less than we could be because our attention is so given to our "graven image" of the "perfect" body?

1 Corinthians 3:16 teaches, "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" In a temple you expect it to be a place where the Spirit can be felt. You expect it to be beautiful and uplifting. Our bodies are to magnify our spiritual capacities; our abilities to do good. Is it so, that we can forget the nourishment of our souls because we are so focused on the appearance of our bodies? Elaine S. Dalton taught, "When you came to the earth, you were given the precious gift of a body. Your body is the instrument of your mind and a divine gift with which you exercise your agency. This is a gift that Satan was denied, and thus he directs nearly all of his attacks on your body. He wants you to disdain, misuse, and abuse your body." How are we treating ourselves? Do we remember to have personal charity? Do we eat, exercise, etc to glorify God's gift to us? Are we being temperate in those things, or are we allowing Satan to gain a foothold in our hearts and minds to distract us from what is truly important? Again to repeat Sister Dalton, "Your body is the instrument of your mind and a divine gift with which you exercise your agency."

To quote from the For Strength of Youth's section on Physical and Emotional Health;
"Your body is a temple, a gift from God. You will be blessed as you care for your body. Choose to obey the Word of Wisdom (see D&C 89). When you are obedient to this law, you remain free from harmful addictions and have control over your life. You gain the blessings of a healthy body, an alert mind, and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. You will be prepared to serve the Lord. Never let Satan or others deceive you into thinking that breaking the Word of Wisdom will make you happier, more popular, or more attractive.
"To care for your body, eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. Practice balance and moderation in all aspects of your physical health. Also, avoid extremes in diet that could lead to eating disorders. Do not intentionally harm your body. Avoid dangerous activities that put your body at risk of serious injury."
Are we moderate? Are we temperate in our exercise and eating? Are we seeking after a graven image or the image of God?

As Jesus asked, "what seek ye?" (John 1:38). Are we seeking after the fountain of youth like dear old Ponce de León? Or are we seeking after the fountain of truth?

Our bodies are such a divine gift. It seems a shame to me that so often we find ourselves unhappy with all that we do have. I think of all that we can become due to the obtaining of a physical body, and I am indeed grateful for this tremendous gift of life and experience. We earn the reward of that which we seek: "For as he seeketh, so is he..." (Proverbs 23:7).

I think of sweet Elder Holland and his pleading with us women to be kinder to ourselves, and to spend less time longing to look like someone else. I quote him now:
"I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]” 8 And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies.” 9 Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. And if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won’t be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be—that’s good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size.

"Frankly, the world has been brutal with you in this regard. You are bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, “If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular.” That kind of pressure is immense in the teenage years, to say nothing of later womanhood. In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet just such a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard. As one Hollywood actress is reported to have said recently: “We’ve become obsessed with beauty and the fountain of youth. … I’m really saddened by the way women mutilate [themselves] in search of that. I see women [including young women] … pulling this up and tucking that back. It’s like a slippery slope. [You can’t get off of it.] … It’s really insane … what society is doing to women.”(Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "To Young Women").

There are many things to distract us from developing our talents, interests, and spirituality. I have had to ask myself recently to evaluate the time I spend doing specific activities: working out, social media, and scripture study. Their rankings (in terms of time spent doing each) did not reflect how I feel of their importance. Needless to say, much of my social media time could be replaced by a more personal, thorough scripture study, or the setting of goals to acquire or use personal interests/talents.

This Saturday we enjoyed a family bike ride to the park. As we were riding I was telling Richard a fitness goal for myself, not in a whiny way but as topic of conversation, and I was touched by my husband's response. He said, "I am going to ask you to do something really hard. I am going to ask you to be perfectly content with how you are now." His words "perfectly content" touched my heart, and I felt a spiritual confirmation, through my husband, yes, that I am healthy and to be very happy with that.

To close where I started, just like in my endless episode watching, I have discovered that the way I spend my time, the things I focus my mind on all have their ability to change and to daily be more like what my Savior would have me do and think. In terms of my body, I am going to keep a wise stewardship over it, with the goal of health; both spiritual and physical; and I will strive to remember to glorify God trough it because, "By the grace of God I am what I am..." (1 Cor 15:10).

Friendship

I have been blessed with incredible friends in my life. Genuine, gold-hearted people who have enhanced who I am. I am very fortunate. A lot changes between when you are a teen under your parent's roof, to when you go to college, to when you get married, and to when you have children. Not all change is bad.

When my sister got married I thought my world ended. I was around 16 and all the sudden my BFF and I had a third wheel; little did I realize it was ME who became the third wheel, not him! With pouting and tears we resolved the issues, but things were different, they had to be. Our life circumstances continued to grow different as my sister welcomed their first baby, then second into our friendship. They were the cutest, most charming babies who had me eating out of the palms of their itsy-bitsy palms! But things were different, my sister was in a whole new ball game than I was, and yet, it was okay.

Once I got married, my sister and I clicked again on a deeper level. We had more things in common again, more ideas to share with each other, more applicable stories to sympathize with or laugh over. And once I had my first baby we reached our innate equilibrium again, eureka! My sister has been my guiding star, if you will, on all things marriage and baby, and it has been incredibly life saving! I have loved her advice, encouragement, and words of sympathy from "having been there." All the amount of difference between us in the in between phases of life don't matter any more. They were a small moment in the big picture of life, and I am thankful she or I never called it quits on our friendship just because our phase of life didn't sync up at the moment. In my opinion, life is ever changing, so be patient.

As I am sitting here rocking my sick, teething, darling boy, I think of how many nights my sister did this before I did, and how many nights my dearest friends will do it after I do. It's such a blessing to be able to have each other to learn from and lean on. Nothing is better than knowing you have wingmen while you're in the trenches of motherhood (or wifehood, careerhood, etc).

Right now my days are filled from sun up (or earlier!) til sun down (or later) taking care of two other people; time is not my own. My wants, my needs come second to two (or three if we're counting Rich!) very wonderful boys. It won't always be like this. I won't always have these sweet angels under my care, so I need to do the best that I can while I am in the moment, and place them where they belong. As a consequence, I am not as good as I would like to be at staying in frequent contact with all of my wonderful friends who will always mean so much to me. I am so thankful though for the constant support and encouragement of these dear friends, no matter how close or windy our paths go. It's a true treasure to have dear friends who are always there to rejoice in the happy moments and sorrow with you in the sad.

I am thankful for this phase of life where I get to be a mom. Motherhood is a double sided coin. You can't have the good without the bad. I feel like often times kids are looked upon as restrictive and limiting, but never in my life have I felt more fulfilled than I do now as a mother. There are plenty of things Rich and I don't do now that we have kids, but our goals are different, and the reward is greater than it ever could be if we were just living for our own enjoyment. We get to build up a future for two incredible boys who we get to be the parents of; how awesome! I think the hard stuff about parenting—the up all night with a sick baby, the endless crying and tantrums, the rule setting and rule enforcing—are talked about so much because we want two things; 1) to know we're not alone, and 2) we humans need sympathy, and it's easier to talk about the "bad" stuff to get reactions than the good, true fact. I also think the really good moments of parenting aren't talked about as much for two reasons; 1) we don't want to come off as braggadocios, and 2) the sweet moments are tender to our hearts, and personal- not everyone needs to know the "wins" we get in the day.

There is no way to adequately describe the moment you get to meet your child for the first time, the moment when you break down crying to God because you feel inadequate on every front, the moment you witness a "first" of your child, the moment you get so angry you put yourself in time out, the moment you get to hug all the owies goodbye, or the moment you make it to bedtime and get to watch your littles drift off into quiet slumber. This phase of life is different, it's hard, but hands down it's the best yet!

I am thankful for friends who, whether in this phase or not, support and encourage me, and who hold out for the days when we are in total sync. Life is a treasure with good friends to share your heart with. I am thankful I have found such wonderful people to share the details of my life with.

God is good to me.

My Mormon Faith: Repentance

I am a Mormon, and I believe in the power of change.

Christ's life was peculiar in many ways, foremost because He lived a perfect life, a life devoid of sin, which no man had or has. As Latter-day Saints, we follow Christ's example. We try the best we can to live by high moral standards, which in many ways separates us from popular trends in current culture. And while our hearts are, most often, filled with good intentions, we make mistakes and have many wrongs to right. This is part of being human; part of our mortal experience.

I believe we, as individuals both Mormon and not, have incredible capacity for change and growth. From my earliest recollections, I have been taught that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world– our Brother and Redeemer. I have come to know personally that it is through His infinite and eternal atonement that true, deep, and pure change is brought about.

The scriptures teach, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). I love my Savior. I know His atonement applies as much to me as it does to anyone of God's children. I am thankful for the chance to change and become better. I am thankful to know that I have an Advocate with the Father– someone who is rooting for me, and pleading my cause.

I have always looked at life with the hope of becoming; "becoming what?" you might ask. Becoming more than I currently am; becoming more forgiving, more compassionate, more pure, more able to serve God and be God's. It is important to make good choices, but too often when we have made a bad choice we feel that all is lost and we underestimate our capacity for change. We are right to be fearful of our ability to really change if we are solely relying on ourselves; we are all together wrong though if we remember that we are never in it alone- that we have Christ to rely on to help us make real, permanent change for the better.

I believe the scriptures as they talk of Christ. I have come to know Him and see/ feel of His divine influence in my life. God is not some mythical being out probing the tentacles of space. He is our Father, our Creator, and is mindful of us. "Why would God care about me, I'm just one person on this huge earth?" you may ask. He cares because He created you. He cares because each experience you have matters in your eternal, spiritual progression. You are of worth to Him, and He has sent His Son to atone for you.

I believe in God the Father and Jesus Christ. I believe in change. I believe in pure repentance. I believe in eternity.

Phases

My sweet friend, Whittlee, just had their sweet baby girl, Navy, this evening. My heart is full of love and joy for these dear friends of ours. I see Navy's precious, fresh face and my heart becomes flooded as memories of my new born boys come to mind. Labor is the hardest, sweetest experience. There are few words to accurately describe the exhaustion of the experience that is then followed by pure exquisite joy.

I am thankful for seasons of life. I am thankful to be in the season where I am creating my family. My boys are changing me and teaching me every day. They are encouraging me to be less selfish and more giving; more patient and loving. They teach me what it is to do things wrong and how to turn around and do it right.

Parenthood is hard. You're raising another human being who has their own personality and dispositions. You cannot control them no matter how badly you would like to, and that can be, quite frankly, scary. On the reverse side, it is also humbling. You begin to realize that your kids have tremendous potential for all that is good and wonderful in this world.

I am glad to know that even though I am far from being a perfect parent, I have a perfect Father in Heaven who is divinely invested in the welfare of my children, and because of this He will help me and my children. President Joseph Fielding Smith has said, "I feel most assuredly that our Father in heaven is far more interested in a soul—one of his children—than it is possible for an earthly father to be in one of his children. His love for us is greater than can be the love of an earthly parent for his offspring" ( Teachings of the Presidents of the Church, Joseph Fielding Smith, 42).

I feel that is true. As thrilling as it is as a parent to watch your child enter into a new phase of life and development, I am positive our Father in Heaven rejoices as He sees His spirit children come into this world, grow and develop, and cultivate their spiritual gifts through the proper use of their agency. I am hopeful that as my sons grow they will choose to use their agency wisely, and that I will be inspired by the spirit to know how to best guide and help them.

Congrats to my dear friends, the Hamblins, as they begin the fun journey of being parents!

A New Year

I am blessed to have a dear group of women who I can talk about a gospel subject with each month. The gospel of Jesus Christ is who I am. I love the Lord with all of my heart, and I delight in being able to talk with others about eternal truths. For the last several days I have felt to begin the year on my blog by recording my testimony of my Father in Heaven and my Savior.

I love the Lord. That statement cannot be overused to me because it is the simple, deep feeling of my heart. "He is my joy and my song" to quote a familiar hymn. I know He knows and loves me. I know God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three separate personages. I know God cares deeply about our spiritual progression. I know this because He has proven to me time and time again His willingness to be in the details of my life.

A friend tonight shared an experience her friend had which she related as she taught a group of young women of our church. This friend explained that we must "keep coming unto Christ." I know this to be true. Life and its unpredictable trials/ experiences will always demand for us to be faced with the choice: do we choose Christ or not?

I have seen so clearly the polarizing issues that have arose during my short life, and I see, with similar clarity, the daily need to choose Christ over every issue, without exception. Faith wouldn't be faith if it didn't require effort and trust.

I believe in Christ. He is my hope (or assurance). He is my advocate. He is my respected friend. I have felt and continue to believe in His divine healing.

With this year ahead of me, I look forward to the faith promoting experiences I will be granted. I look back with fondness at the tender mercies I have experienced, expressly that of giving birth to our dear Carter, and the tremendous joy and light he has added to our home. I have seen clearly God's hand in my family, and thank Him for our blessings. I rejoice in being a wife and mother and feel it a deep honor and noble calling to be both.

All that I am I owe to my God.

This Is The Good Life

I live the good life, the best life. I haven't showered today, I have clothes that smell like baby spitup, and a toy car in my sweatshirt pocket. Yes, this is the good life.

I have a four-year degree gracefully poised on my book shelf and I don't mind. Being a stay-at-home mom is the best job I could possibly want. I am so grateful my circumstances allow me to do this. My joy is overflowing as I get to see my boys learn, grow, and develop. These two make me feel like a million bucks, but the best part about it is they have no idea!

We came home from playgroup this morning, and both boys were bushed. My heart felt so much love for my boys as I held both of them and tucked them into bed. It's moments like these where the phrase, "this is the good life" comes into my mind. And it's true. While I am grateful for my degree (and will be encouraging my girls strongly to get theirs!) being a mom is incredibly fulfilling. I honestly can't imagine life without my two bears (our "love" name for them).

Holding the title of "MOM" is pretty extraordinary, and I'm so glad that's my name.

Hymn of Praise

Since middle school I have loved singing in choirs. In particular, I love church choirs. It is often said that music is a quick way to invite the Spirit into any meeting. I agree that it's true, and particularly being the one to sing the music.

Tonight I went to my first choir practice on years- we're talking I don't even remember the last choir I was apart of. My how wonderful it was! I'm not a fabulous singer by any stretch of the imagination, but I love music and I love how it can express the feelings of my heart so perfectly. Richard and I agree, while church choirs are meant to enhance the spirit of a given meeting, the impact of the music is most deeply felt by those who have dedicated time to practicing and performing it.

I am so grateful music has always been an important part of my home. As a child, each family home evening night we would gather around the piano and sing some hymn. I can often remember us singing more than one because we all would have our own requests, and too just because it was fun to sing together. On occasion, my sister and I would lure my mom to the piano and we would sing as many songs as she or we had time for. At the time it was just normal, now I see how truly peculiar and special that was. My mom's talent for playing the piano has blessed my family with treasured memories, and has given, at least me, a deep gratitude for the spirit of music.

Tonight was a blessing to my soul. No matter my singing ability, I feel grateful to praise God through music. He is truly miraculous.