I often laugh to myself because, at times I feel like church is a joke these days. Since William learned to crawl he is squirmy and on the go constantly. It's great, most of the time... But church is a three hour marathon of chasing Will and making sure he isn't tearing apart things or distracting people. Which leaves Rich or myself a hot mess (and not the good kind!)
I've thought about this "joke," but surprisingly I haven't ever had the desire to not go. Something about being at church- whether or not I am getting anything special out of the talks/lessons- calls me to be there, and I feel like it is right where I belong. There are small moments where I hear something that hits home and faces that I meet and greet that fill me with renewed sense of purpose and hope. If anything, it reassures me that I really am doing the best I can, and that He understands that.
While helping Richard with his deacons lesson for this past Sunday, I got to look up a bunch of different scriptures on the Godhead. As I read about the roles of the Holy Ghost, I was impressed by how often the scriptures explain it as being a teacher of truth. This made me think about how often I've had little moments where I have been taught by the Holy Ghost. Most of them have been simple- just little things to get me by or broaden my understanding of a certain subject. But they have all been very real and what I personally needed.
As I thought about the Holy Ghost, I realized how grateful I am in my heart that church isn't the only place I can be spiritually taught. I can be taught by the Holy Ghost in my home (cozy in my PJ's!), at the store, while I'm driving, and even while I work out. The places and opportunities are endless.
This Sunday, I so happened to be taught while sitting in Sunday School while Rich wrestled Will in the hall. In my mind I was saying some desperate prayer to the effect, "Heavenly Father, I really would love to be apart of Relief Society today. I could really use being around my sisters and learning today. Would thou be willing to help me? I know you have before." And the simple thought entered my mind, "Some days there are sacrifices to pay." I knew my answer for the day was, "no," but somehow I felt better about it. I did desperately want to be apart of Relief Society, and my Father in Heaven told me He knew that. What a blessing! How wonderful that He cares enough to reply to my heartfelt prayer.
There are so many times where my emotions get the better of me. Where I feel like for every one thing I do right I do 10 wrong. There are moments where I feel so overwhelmed by the tasks at hand, the projects to complete, and the house to clean that my body feels fatigued before the day begins. But the really beautiful thing about feeling that way is that every time I include it in my prayers, I am blessed to see that one good thing, and He cancels out all the other 10 wrong things about the day. I am filled with great peace and a pure sense of joy for the good in my life; joy and peace that I know come from the companionship of the Holy Ghost and a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who said they would make themselves manifest to me through the Spirit.
My problems may be trivial, my questions not very deep but my prayers always matter, and when I ask to be taught I am filled with the Light of His love, the hope of His word, and the beauty of His creations. I am grateful that He can teach me in so many places, not just on Sunday at church.
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