The Modern Mom

Being a mom is far more exciting and fulfilling than I could have possibly imagined!  I love being able to be the one who gets to snuggle my little boy, see his smiling face as he wakes up from sleeping, and do endless things to see his face light up.  With that being said, I find that there are so many things that distract me from really engaging with my boy.  My intentions are those good motherly take-care-of-your-child ones, and yet I find myself spending too much time on things like facebook and pinterest because I am at a blank as to what else to do.  William is still really young and so I'm not exactly sure what all to do with him throughout the day?  We have our somewhat daily routines, tummy time, pacing the house holding him so he can see things, showing him toys, letting him suck on my fingers (because they're sooo much tastier than his own ;)), feeds and naps, but at the end of the day I still feel like I wish I could have done more with/for him.  Maybe if you're a mom you could throw some suggestions my way on some things to do with my 3 month old.  I just want to make sure that I'm spending my time plugged into the right things, especially my baby boy.  I only get one shot at raising him, and I want to make the most of it.

On another note, completely unrelated to what to do with my 3 month old, I'm going to take a second to vent.  I am a firm believer in taking care of my body.  I'm also a firm believer that there is WAY too much garbage that goes around these days trying to influence how us women see ourselves.  I'm a pinner and I really love all the fun ideas I get from different people and sites... all except for the nasty images that get pinned- the ones that show a picture of a deathly skinny girl in barely any clothes and the caption reads something like, "flatten your belly!" or worse, women's comments like, "I want to look like this!"  I'll be completely honest, such comments make me mad! I want to smack people upside the heads and say, "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH HAVING A NORMAL HEALTHY, NOT-DEATHLY-SKINNY BODY?!"  I've never been one that's heavy, but I certainly don't fall under the category of being overly skinny- and I don't want to!  I'm thankful for the "thick" or "muscular" thighs I've been blessed with, and I'm thankful for a stomach that has changed so that I could have my beautiful baby boy.  I love working out because it makes me feel happy that I am taking time for myself, relieving stress, and giving myself a realistic personal challenge, NOT because I want to be the next twig photographed in almost no clothing.  I think there is something to be said about being able to accept what you've been given and work with it instead of trying to achieve the gross images of women that most women never will look like unless they do very unhealthy things to themselves.  I'm grateful for my body, and grateful for the things it lets me do.  I'm changing my mind on work outs and am now doing it for ME to challenge MYSELF against MYSELF, not  against anyone else be they friend, family, or picture.  I'm not saying it's bad to push yourself to achieve certain health goals, I'm saying to make them ones that are realistic for YOU and YOUR time of life.  There's a whole lot of self dislike that can be avoided, I think, if we choose to work with what we've got and be grateful for the little accomplishments we achieve every day as we hit the ground running.

There... I'm done... I feel better :)

Testimony

Very early Sunday morning I received sobering news via text message that a dear friend of mine from high school and seminary committed suicide... My heart broke to read those words.  He was a wonderfully talented, kind person who in recent months I'd been telling my husband about.  Since receiving the news, I've had time to deeply ponder and turn to my Heavenly Father in prayer.  My heart has found comfort in knowing that our Heavenly Father understands things far better than we do.  He knows completely all the thoughts, feelings, and intents of our hearts.  He understands the limitations we have, our struggles, and our deep desires for good despite our falling short.  I am endlessly grateful for a Savior who has atoned for much more than just our sins.  The compassionate strength that is available from the atonement blows me away at times.  I am endlessly grateful to have such power available to me, and endlessly grateful that my Savior chose to complete such a daunting task so that I, as well as all mankind, can find pure relief from pain and suffering.  I know that there is angelic healing and comfort that can enter our lives, I've experienced it in very personal ways.  Most of all, I know that somewhere in the vast expanse of space and universe, I have a God who knows and loves me, and who is far closer to me than I can possibly realize.

Melting All Over You

I can't explain how much I love being able to snuggle my little boy, watch my husband light up like a Christmas tree as he coos over our son, and then to be wrapped up in that handsome man's arms.  Life is sweet.  There are times when I simply don't feel like I can get enough of my boys...  where I can't hold my baby for long enough or express to my husband how incredible I think he is.  Words fail me so often these days.  I've been trying to be better about giving undivided attention to both William and Richard.  Instead of indulging in a TV show or reading a book while I nurse William, I've taken to simply admiring what a handsome little boy he is, and the miracle it is that I can nourish such a big baby.  I've been trying to make what my husband tells me the only thing that's racing through my mind, and to continue to validate his interest by being interested in them myself.  I often find myself repeating in my prayers to Heavenly Father how much I am thankful to be able to be William's mommy and Richard's wife, how thankful I am for my special time with them, and how incredible they both are to me.  Word's can't describe the gratitude I feel for Heavenly Father trusting me to be the mother to one of his precious angels.  William has such a sweet spirit.  I'd do anything for him.  It is such a blessing to be a wife and mother.  Life isn't always perfect, but it sure is sweet with moments like these.  God knew what He was doing when He placed us in families.

The Little Things

There are so many little things about our baby that I simply don't want to forget. He's such a sweet boy, and I know that as he keeps growing and developing he's going to bring us even more joy.

"A Mom in Action"

Our sweet little William McKay is finally with us!  After the nine month waiting period these almost five weeks with him have flown by.  I can't believe how big he has gotten already! Time really will fly.

Right before I went into the hospital to be induced, I was talking to my sister, Jena, about the fact that so soon I'd be a mom (yahoo!), she replied, "well, a mom in action!" She couldn't have said it better or been more right!  All my life I have had very instinctual motherly feelings and desires, and now is my time to put them into practice.  I'll be honest, some "instincts" have come more naturally than others (like being completely 100% over protective... got that instinct in abundance!), but it has been the most rewarding experience of my life, so far, taking care of this little baby.  

Some people say that when you have a baby it is one of the most spiritual experiences of your life, and I'd have to agree, but for me it was far different than what I was expecting.  I didn't necessarily feel a "burning in the bosom", or see angels ministering to us, or have any bright revelations or anything along those lines.  I simply felt like this was the best thing I could possibly be doing with my life- bringing into the world a sweet little baby with my loving, supportive husband.  

I am so grateful for this chance I have to be a mother.  William is such an incredible little baby.  I feel blessed to be his mommy. I thank God He has blessed me with the opportunity to take care of this precious boy, he's our little miracle. 

(Now, I promised I'd be taking more photos once the baby was here, so... be prepared for a ton of them!)

I simply love snuggling with my boy! 

A classic "It's crying, what do I do?!" picture!

My very handsome, charming boys.

Richard is 100% smitten by our little guy.

Nap time on grandmas' blanket she made for William :)

One of William's first baths. He loves the sound of running water and for the room to be very warm.

William's first time at church at 3 weeks old.

When I burp William, he loves to snuggle his head in so he can feel my cheek on his head.  It's the most precious thing ever!

The lighting here was just perfect, so I was able to get a few really good shots of William!

His beloved pacifier! I'm so thankful for it... it saves my life some most days!

I truly can't ever get enough of him!

So far it looks like his eyes are going to stay blue... we'll see if they change!

He still has a ton of hair, which I love! I am thinking we might need to trim it up though so that it matches the length of the new hair coming in in the front...

William discovered that Rich's nose acts as a good substitute for his binki, haha, cracks us up!

Our first Thanksgiving away from our families.  Rich made an incredible turkey!

Photos

I feel totally silly posting pictures I've taken of myself, but once I have another subject to shoot and am not so bored with my days, I'll practice on someone else :)  I've been fascinated by "raw" things lately.

Do You See What I See

There’s a long sung Christmas song titled, “Do You Hear What I Hear.”   Today after talking to my sister about our love for Christmas music and reading from the awesome new Relief Society book, “Daughters in My Kingdom” I had a new little twist to the song mentioned above pop into my head, “Do You See What I See.”

I feel like often times it is easy to forget how good we have things in life.  It’s no secret that us women can be our own worst critics- forgetting all of our strengths and focusing on our weaknesses like they’re the most important part of us, but do we see what He sees?  Do we see the divine potential we’ve been created with?  Do we see the miracles that we help Him produce?  Do we see the tender mercies in simple life situations?

Granted we all have things we struggle with, things we wish we could do better at, but in general I think we all have a lot going for us- a whole lot more than we acknowledge.  I am always amazed at the peace that comes from my Heavenly Father when I pray to be able to be better at “something.”  Instead of showing me how bad I am at that certain “something,” He shows me what I’m already doing right, giving me hope and in a small, but very real way, He validates who I already am and my desires to become better.

Our Heavenly Father created us in His image… His image.  And with that creation, He imbedded within us all a bit of His divinity.  Do we remember to build off of that?  Do we neglect to see our natural goodness and potential?  Do we remember to see what He sees?

Charity, the pure love of Christ, is embedded into the Relief Society motto.  We focus on giving charity to others, but do we give it to ourselves?  Do we cut ourselves a break, see ourselves as He sees us, and allow ourselves time for healing and regrowth? 

I believe this is something our loving Heavenly Father wants for us.  He doesn’t want us to be self-absorbed, but He wants for us to see ourselves as He sees us- as His brilliant Daughters who have endless gifts and talents to share and develop.  I believe that He holds a tender spot in His heart for His daughters and will do everything He can to help us see our divine goodness- our raw beauty.