A lot changes between the time when you first get married to even a couple years down the line. When Rich and I were newly newly weds, I wanted HIM to be the one to create our budget for us and keep track of how we were doing that month financially. He on the other hand wanted ME to be the one to create it and keep track of it. So we spent the first year (probably year and a half...) of us having a roughly etched out budget that neither of us visited ever. We always knew we were in the positive and up to date on payments like bills etc, but weren't sticking to our guns.
Something somewhere along the lines clicked with me, and I have budgeting fever! I think it's because I finally got a BIG term picture in my mind when we started talking about buying a house, and I wanted to do my part to help us reach that goal (since I'm not the bread winner, but the baby chaser in our house). We have since laid out a realistic budget for us, and I have been laboring my tooshie off to make sure we stay within our perimeters. It has been fun, stressful, rewarding, and time consuming. I have pinned countless money saving tips on pintrest, a lot of which make me feel like I am totally going to dominate this budgeting gig!
While budgeting has been fun, I feel so desperate to "win" at it that it has been stressing me out. I feel like our budget is sink or swim (in many ways it is), and how do I stay a float when we have so much to juggle? Maybe we just eat a ton (okay, there's no maybe to it... We all eat a ton in this house!), and we have so many fun things we want to get for our new house that I feel like the belt around my budget is starting to give way. It panics me! Like I said before, I desperately want to succeed at our budgeting (it's a fun goal and task for me to achieve, and makes me feel proud that I can take care of my family without breaking the bank).
My drive for success in this area has caused me to pause and say many prayers. Prayers to lead me to success, to have a clear mind, to find good deals, and to know what is realistic for us. I have been blessed with many of those things, and the additional blessing of a supportive husband who cheers me on, follows my rigid guidelines, and helps me regain perspective when the dollar signs to everything start spiraling out of control in front of me! I am so blessed to have a great friend in him. I am so blessed to even have this predicament! I am so blessed to have challenges to think about, solve, and get better at. I am glad that for some reason budgeting has clicked for me now; it has given Rich and me a lot of fun things to talk about and plan for. It has also challenged my mind in areas I was seeking to be challenged (I love having ownership over things and finding a way to succeed).
So whether I sink or I swim, I am glad for little changes in personal interest!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
A Loving Father
A while back I read the book, "A Return to Virtue" by Sister Dalton. In part of her book, she shared a thought in her chapter "raising up a virtuous generation" that resonated with me and made me think of my dad and me.
She explains, "...[Christ] had a close relationship with His Father. I think that relationship and pattern was established by his earthly father, Joseph, as he worked side by side with his son. It feels to me that as Jesus was daily tutored by His earthly father, Joseph, in informal settings, it was a simple matter to know of His Heavenly Father. I think Jesus knew that His Heavenly Father loved Him because He also knew and experienced His earthly father's love and companionship" (105).
In church today, a sister bore her testimony, and expressed that due to the lack of her father in her life, she has had a very hard time believing that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us and is concerned for us. My heart ached for her, because my experience in life has been the complete opposite. The relationship I have with my dad has been a source of light and consistency in my life. My dad has always sought to bring out the best in me, and remind me of my intrinsic value and worth when I seem to forget it. Just the other night, while on the phone with him, I explained how I feel a little bit intimidated by our new ward, the vast amount of talent in it, and the need for a friend. He replied by saying, "they're the ones who are intimidated!" It hit me that weather I'm right, or he's right, or we're both wrong all together, I am so blessed to have a dad who thinks the world of me, and who reminds me that I'm a good person with good talents.
As I listened to the sister in sacrament meeting and reflected back on this experience with my dad, it hit me that he offered validation that my Heavenly Father wants to give me too. I clearly thought: when I forget my worth or my strengths, I [Heavenly Father] can always see them and I never forget your value. I am very blessed to have a wonderful father who makes it easy for me to believe and trust that I have a loving Heavenly Father who cares for me, listens to me, and helps me.
I am also blessed to be married to a man who is loving, kind, supportive, and a wonderful father. I have no doubt that he will teach our sons how to be great men, protectors, and loving spouses and parents. I have no doubt that he will set the bar impossibly high for our daughters when they are looking for a spouse because he will teach them how a man should treat them, and how to receive and reciprocate healthy love and relationships. It is a sacred responsibility to teach our children how to be good, honest individuals, loving friends and family members, creative and talented kids, and future spouses and parents. I understand clearly that my children will emulate the behaviors I teach them more by actions than by words. I pray my guts out that they will see the good in my heart because God knows well how often I fall short! I am grateful though to be the one to be an example of how to love and treat people well because I feel like love is the one thing I really can offer up.
I hope more than anything that Rich and I can make it easy for our children to believe there is a God who loves them and is constantly wanting the best for them because they experience those things with us. I know life can be lonely and unsure at times, but I know that if my children can experience that total trust that God loves them like I have, they will make it through impossible things. The family unit (mom, dad, kids, etc) is absolutely inspired. I am eternally blessed because of it.
She explains, "...[Christ] had a close relationship with His Father. I think that relationship and pattern was established by his earthly father, Joseph, as he worked side by side with his son. It feels to me that as Jesus was daily tutored by His earthly father, Joseph, in informal settings, it was a simple matter to know of His Heavenly Father. I think Jesus knew that His Heavenly Father loved Him because He also knew and experienced His earthly father's love and companionship" (105).
In church today, a sister bore her testimony, and expressed that due to the lack of her father in her life, she has had a very hard time believing that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us and is concerned for us. My heart ached for her, because my experience in life has been the complete opposite. The relationship I have with my dad has been a source of light and consistency in my life. My dad has always sought to bring out the best in me, and remind me of my intrinsic value and worth when I seem to forget it. Just the other night, while on the phone with him, I explained how I feel a little bit intimidated by our new ward, the vast amount of talent in it, and the need for a friend. He replied by saying, "they're the ones who are intimidated!" It hit me that weather I'm right, or he's right, or we're both wrong all together, I am so blessed to have a dad who thinks the world of me, and who reminds me that I'm a good person with good talents.
As I listened to the sister in sacrament meeting and reflected back on this experience with my dad, it hit me that he offered validation that my Heavenly Father wants to give me too. I clearly thought: when I forget my worth or my strengths, I [Heavenly Father] can always see them and I never forget your value. I am very blessed to have a wonderful father who makes it easy for me to believe and trust that I have a loving Heavenly Father who cares for me, listens to me, and helps me.
I am also blessed to be married to a man who is loving, kind, supportive, and a wonderful father. I have no doubt that he will teach our sons how to be great men, protectors, and loving spouses and parents. I have no doubt that he will set the bar impossibly high for our daughters when they are looking for a spouse because he will teach them how a man should treat them, and how to receive and reciprocate healthy love and relationships. It is a sacred responsibility to teach our children how to be good, honest individuals, loving friends and family members, creative and talented kids, and future spouses and parents. I understand clearly that my children will emulate the behaviors I teach them more by actions than by words. I pray my guts out that they will see the good in my heart because God knows well how often I fall short! I am grateful though to be the one to be an example of how to love and treat people well because I feel like love is the one thing I really can offer up.
I hope more than anything that Rich and I can make it easy for our children to believe there is a God who loves them and is constantly wanting the best for them because they experience those things with us. I know life can be lonely and unsure at times, but I know that if my children can experience that total trust that God loves them like I have, they will make it through impossible things. The family unit (mom, dad, kids, etc) is absolutely inspired. I am eternally blessed because of it.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
A Heart Full of Gratitude
Change is a never ending story in our neck of the woods. We've made it to our new city, Rich has started his new job, and we've partially moved in to our temporary new place until our new home is ready. Life couldn't be more blessed. On Sunday, the lady giving her talk in church explained how the more specific we are in our prayers to God, the more specific He will be in answering us. Forgetting all the past experiences I've had over the last X amount of years, this last week has been a testament to that woman's statement.
In coming out here to Las Vegas, we realized that we will raise our family here for a good portion of their lives; and since we'll be in this city for a long time we wanted to be carefully attune to where the Lord would have us live to maximize our growth potential. This led us to our knees day in and day out asking for guidance and inspiration on what house we should buy, if we should buy, and how much we should spend for it. I tried to be very specific with Heavenly Father, asking for both Richard and I to feel really good about the decision, for us to differentiate between excitement and inspiration, and for us to do whatever His will was no matter what. We also found ourselves on our knees often asking for help with William. Since we looked for houses right when we got here, we didn't know anyone who could watch Will (especially anyone we'd really trust). That meant that he was going with us to every house missing all 3 naps he takes.
It was incredible to see how the Lord answered our prayers. William was an incredible champ. He was a bit squirmy, and began to fear the car every time we walked towards it, but he held onto his cheerful self so we could house hunt. Our prayers were also specifically answered on the house to choose. We had several homes where either Rich or myself would really like, but the other person didn't feel right about it. We knew this was a sign from Heavenly Father to keep looking.
The whole process has me filled with gratitude. I am amazed at Heavenly Father's kindness, His ability to help us, and care for us. My heart is bursting at the seams; not only did Heavenly Father listen to our prayers asking for the opportunity to obtain a different job with family-friendly hours, but he has blessed us with the opportunity and means to settle down. I know Heavenly Father cares for us.
Truman G. Madsen explained how to acknowledge there is a God, a divine being, is to acknowledge that He has a say in your life. I am glad I know God is real, and I am glad He has a say in my life. He leads me to far better things than I could ever achieve on my own! Truly, my heart is full of gratitude!
In coming out here to Las Vegas, we realized that we will raise our family here for a good portion of their lives; and since we'll be in this city for a long time we wanted to be carefully attune to where the Lord would have us live to maximize our growth potential. This led us to our knees day in and day out asking for guidance and inspiration on what house we should buy, if we should buy, and how much we should spend for it. I tried to be very specific with Heavenly Father, asking for both Richard and I to feel really good about the decision, for us to differentiate between excitement and inspiration, and for us to do whatever His will was no matter what. We also found ourselves on our knees often asking for help with William. Since we looked for houses right when we got here, we didn't know anyone who could watch Will (especially anyone we'd really trust). That meant that he was going with us to every house missing all 3 naps he takes.
It was incredible to see how the Lord answered our prayers. William was an incredible champ. He was a bit squirmy, and began to fear the car every time we walked towards it, but he held onto his cheerful self so we could house hunt. Our prayers were also specifically answered on the house to choose. We had several homes where either Rich or myself would really like, but the other person didn't feel right about it. We knew this was a sign from Heavenly Father to keep looking.
The whole process has me filled with gratitude. I am amazed at Heavenly Father's kindness, His ability to help us, and care for us. My heart is bursting at the seams; not only did Heavenly Father listen to our prayers asking for the opportunity to obtain a different job with family-friendly hours, but he has blessed us with the opportunity and means to settle down. I know Heavenly Father cares for us.
Truman G. Madsen explained how to acknowledge there is a God, a divine being, is to acknowledge that He has a say in your life. I am glad I know God is real, and I am glad He has a say in my life. He leads me to far better things than I could ever achieve on my own! Truly, my heart is full of gratitude!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Big Wonders
On our move to Las Vegas, we met our best friends Whittlee and Stewart in Flagstaff, AZ. They are the world's greatest friends! It's not often that you find couple friends where the wives gel, hubbys gel, and hubbys and wives gel; so we consider ourselves incredibly fortunate!
We didn't have a lot of time, but we drove with our sweet friends to see the Grand Canyon. It was worth the extra 3 hours of driving!! Not only was the company great, but we got to see one of God's breathtaking beauties.
As we drove the rest of the way into Las Vegas today, seeing all the rocky formations made me turn introspective. When I look at these beautiful creations, I can't help but believe there is a God. I can't help but believe He created all things. It all adds up to me; and I am so thankful I get to be on this earth to enjoy such wonders.
There is beauty in unexpected things.
We didn't have a lot of time, but we drove with our sweet friends to see the Grand Canyon. It was worth the extra 3 hours of driving!! Not only was the company great, but we got to see one of God's breathtaking beauties.
As we drove the rest of the way into Las Vegas today, seeing all the rocky formations made me turn introspective. When I look at these beautiful creations, I can't help but believe there is a God. I can't help but believe He created all things. It all adds up to me; and I am so thankful I get to be on this earth to enjoy such wonders.
There is beauty in unexpected things.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Love is Hairy
Rich came home with news that a friend from back home unexpectedly lost his wife to a sudden illness. Our hearts mutually broke. I don't know the guy or his family, but I haven't been able to stop myself from saying silent prayers for them, and counting my blessings to have my family all intact.
Marriage is a blessing- even including all the trials. It is the ultimate fulfillment to share yourself 100% with the person who makes you feel complete. You share the ups and the downs; the in betweens and the I-don't-knows. You share the victorious moments, and the glum doldrums.
It can be scary and tricky to give yourself so completely to someone. True love takes work and practice. It's hard refining yourself to think the best of your spouse; especially when the world programs us to think the worst.
Love is hairy. I've seen seasoned vets still practicing how to do it right. It gives me inspiration to never stop trying to show my spouse how much I love him.
Tragic news is a good reminder to love better. It's a good time to evaluate actions, intentions, and goals. It's a good time to break out that photo album, reminisce, and make out like hormonally driven teenagers ;) I feel a little silly writing that... But it's true! I don't want to forget what those lips feel like against mine; I want my adoration, love, and complete fidelity to spill out of each long smooch.
It is a rich blessing to me to be married to such a wonderful person. He fills my life with flavor and interest. I've come to depend on him for my happiness and sanity. We've had time to see each other at our weakest moments- individually and as a couple; and we've had time to see each other at our highest peeks- individually and as a couple. I'm glad love is work. I'm glad it requires something of myself to draw us close together: it's a long term investment that way.
Tonight, I'm counting my blessings and finding my husband at the top of my chart :)
Marriage is a blessing- even including all the trials. It is the ultimate fulfillment to share yourself 100% with the person who makes you feel complete. You share the ups and the downs; the in betweens and the I-don't-knows. You share the victorious moments, and the glum doldrums.
It can be scary and tricky to give yourself so completely to someone. True love takes work and practice. It's hard refining yourself to think the best of your spouse; especially when the world programs us to think the worst.
Love is hairy. I've seen seasoned vets still practicing how to do it right. It gives me inspiration to never stop trying to show my spouse how much I love him.
Tragic news is a good reminder to love better. It's a good time to evaluate actions, intentions, and goals. It's a good time to break out that photo album, reminisce, and make out like hormonally driven teenagers ;) I feel a little silly writing that... But it's true! I don't want to forget what those lips feel like against mine; I want my adoration, love, and complete fidelity to spill out of each long smooch.
It is a rich blessing to me to be married to such a wonderful person. He fills my life with flavor and interest. I've come to depend on him for my happiness and sanity. We've had time to see each other at our weakest moments- individually and as a couple; and we've had time to see each other at our highest peeks- individually and as a couple. I'm glad love is work. I'm glad it requires something of myself to draw us close together: it's a long term investment that way.
Tonight, I'm counting my blessings and finding my husband at the top of my chart :)
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Time Out
Motherhood makes real the demands of children. It's easy to get frustrated, overwhelmed and exhausted. It's hard to remember patience, especially when you're low on sleep and have a cranky baby.
Rich and I have been talking a lot about what a special trust it is to be parents. The future of our children is largely dictated by the experiences they have under our care and the examples we set for them. It can be intimidating to think that I have that much influence over someone whom I love so much. It is indeed humbling.
A lot of motherhood requires the self control and self awareness to realize when a situation vs a person is bothering you, and the awareness that your perspective isn't the only one to take into account. Personally, I've come to the conclusion that "mommy time-outs" are the best!
Sometimes I get so caught up in my own frustrations, that I need to take a break (even 30 seconds) away from whatever is bothering me and just breathe. It has saved me countless times from being a bad mommy, or an off the hinge nut-case.
William has been extremely clingy lately. I've resigned to the fact that I am a human jungle gym for the next while, until he enters a new stage.
Yesterday was my breaking day. We are in the middle of a move, I was extra exhausted, and we started the day off whiney and clingy. I had no juice in my box; no gas in my tank. Yet my baby required premium and 100%, no sugar added. Perfect combination.
As I battled my fatigue and irritation, I prayed to be able to meet William's needs. I prayed to be a good mommy and to be blessed with inspiration to know how to help my baby.
My prayer gave me the strength to get through the day; although it didn't turn it into sunshine and roses. I busted out my trusty baby book and sought answers to returning my happy baby and personal sanity. I found a few helpful tips, took several mommy time-outs, and with the help of my hubby we ended the day with all of us exhausted and needy.
Today I wanted to be different. I decided to focus more on Will's curiosity, so I described everything I was doing in our morning routine. I preempted Will's whining that always begins when I get myself breakfast, and placed him in his high chair with a yummy cracker. I ate in peace!! I cleaned him up, talked to him, and then set him down with NO crying (hooray!!)
This was a simple morning, but it filled me with joy and relief. It felt like a merciful answer to my prayers. I know Will's whininess will come and go, but today I just needed a win. I needed a successful morning to kick off my day. I'm so grateful I was blessed with it. It made sneaking in and finding my bear all snug and conked out that much more fulfilling and heart warming.
I love being a mommy, hard times and all.
Rich and I have been talking a lot about what a special trust it is to be parents. The future of our children is largely dictated by the experiences they have under our care and the examples we set for them. It can be intimidating to think that I have that much influence over someone whom I love so much. It is indeed humbling.
A lot of motherhood requires the self control and self awareness to realize when a situation vs a person is bothering you, and the awareness that your perspective isn't the only one to take into account. Personally, I've come to the conclusion that "mommy time-outs" are the best!
Sometimes I get so caught up in my own frustrations, that I need to take a break (even 30 seconds) away from whatever is bothering me and just breathe. It has saved me countless times from being a bad mommy, or an off the hinge nut-case.
William has been extremely clingy lately. I've resigned to the fact that I am a human jungle gym for the next while, until he enters a new stage.
Yesterday was my breaking day. We are in the middle of a move, I was extra exhausted, and we started the day off whiney and clingy. I had no juice in my box; no gas in my tank. Yet my baby required premium and 100%, no sugar added. Perfect combination.
As I battled my fatigue and irritation, I prayed to be able to meet William's needs. I prayed to be a good mommy and to be blessed with inspiration to know how to help my baby.
My prayer gave me the strength to get through the day; although it didn't turn it into sunshine and roses. I busted out my trusty baby book and sought answers to returning my happy baby and personal sanity. I found a few helpful tips, took several mommy time-outs, and with the help of my hubby we ended the day with all of us exhausted and needy.
Today I wanted to be different. I decided to focus more on Will's curiosity, so I described everything I was doing in our morning routine. I preempted Will's whining that always begins when I get myself breakfast, and placed him in his high chair with a yummy cracker. I ate in peace!! I cleaned him up, talked to him, and then set him down with NO crying (hooray!!)
This was a simple morning, but it filled me with joy and relief. It felt like a merciful answer to my prayers. I know Will's whininess will come and go, but today I just needed a win. I needed a successful morning to kick off my day. I'm so grateful I was blessed with it. It made sneaking in and finding my bear all snug and conked out that much more fulfilling and heart warming.
I love being a mommy, hard times and all.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Little Evidences
The end of the day can be relieving some days. It's a nice time for me to get things done and have some R&R. Often times the last thing I want to do is clean, but more often than not it's exactly what I need to do in order to keep my house from looking like a disaster zone.
Much of my cleaning now encompasses activities done with William throughout the day.
Since he was born eight months ago, I haven't stopped feeling that warm pride surge in my heart when I look about my house and see the small evidences that he's in my life. The once pile of books now scattered across the floor, the broken candle stick I didn't put away before he found it, the poopy diapers that need to be placed in the toxic waste basket (aka dumpster), the necklace coated in drool because it was the one thing to keep him happy and interested.
Tonight while getting ready for bed, I looked into our tub to see his toys and bath soap laying exactly where he had left them, his toys in a heaping mess by the couch, his bib laying on his high chair tray; I felt my heart melt all over.
I often wonder how I'm so lucky. How did I get to be the mother of such a sweet boy? My heart thrills at the blessing it is to be a mother, messes and all.
It's easy to get caught up in the mundane monotony of life, but if I wasn't here at the end of the day cleaning up these messes, what else would I be doing, and what miracles would I be missing out on?
I love the evidences that I am a mother. I love the slew of toys sitting on my living room floor. I love the messy bib sitting on the tray waiting to be cleaned. I love the books riddled with rhymes and silly pictures.
Most of all I love the baby who plays with the toys. I love the baby who smears the food on the crafted bib. I love the baby who reaches for the books with the silly pictures and rhymes.
I love the baby who made me a mother, who fills my life with hope, joy, and purpose.
My heart is smitten.
Much of my cleaning now encompasses activities done with William throughout the day.
Since he was born eight months ago, I haven't stopped feeling that warm pride surge in my heart when I look about my house and see the small evidences that he's in my life. The once pile of books now scattered across the floor, the broken candle stick I didn't put away before he found it, the poopy diapers that need to be placed in the toxic waste basket (aka dumpster), the necklace coated in drool because it was the one thing to keep him happy and interested.
Tonight while getting ready for bed, I looked into our tub to see his toys and bath soap laying exactly where he had left them, his toys in a heaping mess by the couch, his bib laying on his high chair tray; I felt my heart melt all over.
I often wonder how I'm so lucky. How did I get to be the mother of such a sweet boy? My heart thrills at the blessing it is to be a mother, messes and all.
It's easy to get caught up in the mundane monotony of life, but if I wasn't here at the end of the day cleaning up these messes, what else would I be doing, and what miracles would I be missing out on?
I love the evidences that I am a mother. I love the slew of toys sitting on my living room floor. I love the messy bib sitting on the tray waiting to be cleaned. I love the books riddled with rhymes and silly pictures.
Most of all I love the baby who plays with the toys. I love the baby who smears the food on the crafted bib. I love the baby who reaches for the books with the silly pictures and rhymes.
I love the baby who made me a mother, who fills my life with hope, joy, and purpose.
My heart is smitten.
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