I believe the scriptures when they say that we are created in God's image. I believe that we are each created with great divinity and potential. I believe that before we came to earth, we existed in heaven with heavenly parents. I believe that we were sincerely happy and excited for the opportunity to be born to this earth so that our precious spirits could obtain a physical body.
Because of these beliefs, I feel strongly that our bodies are a sacred gift. They are each unique, and thankfully different from one person to the next. Being the humans that we are, comparison is a natural action. It can be a great aid in helping us make decisions, and a great detriment when it comes to us looking at ourselves and making comparisons between our body and someone else's body.
Far too often I see things on Pintrest with images of unrealistically skinny women with a promise that if you do the workout promoted there you can have a sexy, slim body just like them. Accompanied with these pins are hundreds of comments from women who self-loath (openly, semi-openly, or secretly) the incredible bodies they have been blessed with. They see all the good things, even the unrealistic things, and measure it against themselves.
Taking care of your body is really important. It is wonderful to eat healthy, exercise, and care about yourself. But somewhere along the line of taking care of ourselves (thinking of us as women) we forget that we were so excited to simply have a body, and we put ourselves down because we're not as "lean", "thin", or "attractive" as the person(s) we compare ourselves with. I promote healthy living, and encourage the good that comes to individual lives when we do what's good for our bodies to function well; but I hate (yes, hate!) the obsession over weight and appearance. I hate seeing women devote hours of their lives to "looking good" or seeing them plunge themselves into diet fads, or eating disorders that deprive themselves of healthy nutrition that they desperately need.
I can't imagine the sorrow that must cause our Heavenly Father. When He looks at us and sees our tremendous goodness and potential but finds us preoccupied in the flaws and imperfections of our bodies that most of the time we exaggerate. I can't imagine His sorrow as He tries to teach us that beauty is not just found in the exterior of our bodies, but that beauty is the cultivation of our divine spirit within.
My husband is a sweetheart. He tells things to me straight, and (most of the time ;)) I love it. The other night we were listening to a church song about how we as women are daughters of our Heavenly Father. As we were talking about the song he said, "you know, I think it's an attractive quality about a girl when she can know who she is and trust confidently that she matters especially when she might not be considered the most attractive girl." An inner knowledge of who you are, your worth to our Divine Creator is more attractive (to a guy who has his priorities straight...) than a girl who obsesses over her body. Good men are like that.
I realize that it can be very difficult to to see our goodness. Our programming, and society, teach us subliminally that we as women are expected to be thin. It's hard to balance the images we see and the emphasis placed on being thin with the reality of what our body type/shape is. I know that Heavenly Father cares enough about us individually to help us with this balancing act. If we are willing to put forth the effort to see the good in us and ask for His help, He can help illuminate our minds as to the wonderful things about us.
In middle school when I was super paranoid about my body image, my best friend's boyfriend told me I had, "thunder thighs." Ya. He really did... I about died because I cared SO much about being "skinny" that "thunder thighs" was NOT what I wanted to hear- ever! Since that time, I've come to love those muscly thighs. I had to spend quite some time asking for help to see the good in me and how I am shaped. I realized that because of my awesome thighs I could play soccer (my all time favorite sport!) really well. It helped me stand my ground and play well against guys much bigger than myself. There are perks to the way we are shaped. I might not, scratch that, I know I don't fall into the category of having a perfect bod, but I couldn't care less!
My sweet mom is a great example to me of being "real." I don't remember my mom ever worrying about weight growing up. She wasn't stick skinny or obese. She was perfect. She didn't obsess about how many calories she ate or working out. She filled her time doing good things (raising 5 kids is a full time job!) She worked hard to give us the best of everything and was the ultimate example of a women who had things straight.
Maybe it is because of my mother that I feel so passionately about the need to be kind to our bodies. Maybe it is because of the spiritual experiences I have had personally that make me an advocate for doing what is realistic. Whatever it is, I am grateful for it, and I hope I can spread the desire to my other friends and dear ones to be kind to their bodies as they look at themselves and feel imperfect like we all do at some point.
Life is a gift- our bodies especially. They help us do so very much. Why not treat them with love and respect? They house the best part of ourselves- our divine spirits.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Just Right...
A couple Sunday's ago, our Relief Society president (the women who is in charge of directing the watch care of the women of our congregation), spoke about spiritual experiences. She talked about daily recognizing the experiences we have, and invited us to record them in a journal so that we can not only learn to recognize heaven's help, but so that we will have a "bucket full" of experiences to rely on when our well of faith seems low.
I decided to take her up on the challenge. In the previous weeks, I had been noticing how Heavenly Father has been inspiring my spirit/mind a lot- mainly in the form of an idea of something to do to help a family member. So I felt excited to write down the experiences I've been having.
Because I committed to doing the challenge, I of course have felt more stumped, "uh... Should I write this down? Does it really count??" But today I had a moment given to me that I think really counts.
As a new mom I often wonder, "Am I doing things right?" "Is my baby getting what he needs?" "Do I need to to more? Do less? What should I do...?" The list is, no joke, endless!
Today William was itching to go outside. He would walk from the front door to the back door and reach for the handle (I smell trouble already when he's taller!). I decided to be a "good" mommy and take him outside. I followed him where ever he wanted to go (minus up to random people's doors...) We walked up and down the streets and sidewalks, just taking our time.
While we were out there I had the thought, "you're doing it right momma. This is just what he needs." After walking for quite a while, I picked Will up in my arms and gave him a big hug. He nestled his head down on my shoulder and for a minute he just laid down mumbling sounds to me. It was the pat on the back I was in particular need of; It was the simple reassurance that even though I am far from perfect, I've got the most important things right in my life.
I decided to take her up on the challenge. In the previous weeks, I had been noticing how Heavenly Father has been inspiring my spirit/mind a lot- mainly in the form of an idea of something to do to help a family member. So I felt excited to write down the experiences I've been having.
Because I committed to doing the challenge, I of course have felt more stumped, "uh... Should I write this down? Does it really count??" But today I had a moment given to me that I think really counts.
As a new mom I often wonder, "Am I doing things right?" "Is my baby getting what he needs?" "Do I need to to more? Do less? What should I do...?" The list is, no joke, endless!
Today William was itching to go outside. He would walk from the front door to the back door and reach for the handle (I smell trouble already when he's taller!). I decided to be a "good" mommy and take him outside. I followed him where ever he wanted to go (minus up to random people's doors...) We walked up and down the streets and sidewalks, just taking our time.
While we were out there I had the thought, "you're doing it right momma. This is just what he needs." After walking for quite a while, I picked Will up in my arms and gave him a big hug. He nestled his head down on my shoulder and for a minute he just laid down mumbling sounds to me. It was the pat on the back I was in particular need of; It was the simple reassurance that even though I am far from perfect, I've got the most important things right in my life.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Consider
In both the Bible and the Book of Mormon, we're taught to, "consider the lilies of the field." I've often wondered what this meant. I know the context of the scriptures are teaching us to trust Heavenly Father, but I have never understood the example of lilies. Today I finally did some extra studying to understand what this means.
Christ was commissioned by Heavenly Father to organize all things on earth. With this vast knowledge behind Him, I think it is very possible that He looked at all things and all people on the earth with different eyes- knowing the matter they were composed of and the divinity which lead to their creation. I imagine that with His knowledge, looking at a lily, He knew exactly what it was made of and how it was to function. He knew its needs and seasons for growth and decay. He knew what was around it to help it grow and develop, and knew why it was exactly where it was.
I think this is exactly how God views us. He knows what He created us with (our potential), He understands what we need to grow and what seasons we need in our lives for "pruning back." he understands perfectly our situations in life and surrounds us with people who can influence us and who we can influence in turn. It makes sense to trust this Being who knows us so completely. Often times we want to be stubborn and say, "I can do it on my own!" but God knows best- He truly understands what will help us reach our fullest potential and how we can be who He needs us to be.
I think that is what is meant by, "consider the lilies of the field."
I am so thankful for this God who knows me so personally. I am thankful He guides and prunes me according to my true divinity and potential. I will strive harder to trust in His arm for all my needs.
Christ was commissioned by Heavenly Father to organize all things on earth. With this vast knowledge behind Him, I think it is very possible that He looked at all things and all people on the earth with different eyes- knowing the matter they were composed of and the divinity which lead to their creation. I imagine that with His knowledge, looking at a lily, He knew exactly what it was made of and how it was to function. He knew its needs and seasons for growth and decay. He knew what was around it to help it grow and develop, and knew why it was exactly where it was.
I think this is exactly how God views us. He knows what He created us with (our potential), He understands what we need to grow and what seasons we need in our lives for "pruning back." he understands perfectly our situations in life and surrounds us with people who can influence us and who we can influence in turn. It makes sense to trust this Being who knows us so completely. Often times we want to be stubborn and say, "I can do it on my own!" but God knows best- He truly understands what will help us reach our fullest potential and how we can be who He needs us to be.
I think that is what is meant by, "consider the lilies of the field."
I am so thankful for this God who knows me so personally. I am thankful He guides and prunes me according to my true divinity and potential. I will strive harder to trust in His arm for all my needs.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Eternal Marriage: My Mormon Faith
In conjunction with my previous post, I felt to write on the topic of eternal marriage, and what that means to me as a Mormon.
One of the most beautiful truths about our doctrine is that we believe that families can be together forever; that means no "'til death do we part." Some individuals and religions proclaim that they believe the same thing too. The difference between the Mormon belief and other's belief that families are forever is that we have what we call the proper authority from God. What this means is, when Christ's gospel and priesthood (authority to act in God's name and heal and bless as He would) was taken from the earth during the dark ages, the proper priesthood authority to bind marriages and families on earth and in heaven was lost. When Joseph Smith restored the gospel of Christ to the earth, so came the proper priesthood authority to bind and seal marriages for time and all eternity.
We want all families to enjoy this blessing of being together forever. In order to qualify for this blessing, we must be keeping the commandments of God, obeying the word of wisdom, have a testimony of God and Christ, and sustain our church leaders. This allows us to get a temple recommend; which is much like a security pass to enter an "authorized personnel only" area. The recommend basically states that you have been found pure and worth to enter the Lord's house and are able to feel and contribute to the Spirit there.
When a man and a woman want to get married in our temples, they seek a special recommend from their bishop. They then enter the temple in a beautiful room that is full of light. Family and friends who also have a temple recommend can attend the wedding- or as we call it, the sealing. The couple kneels before an alter (like in Biblical times). Then a man with proper authority from God is able to perform the sealing of man and wife for time and all eternity.
It is a covenant (like baptism) that both man and women enter into personally, and it is of full effect so long as both people live worthy of their covenant. This basically means that after a man and woman are married in the temple, they still have to strive to keep the commandments and work hard in their marriage. It isn't a golden ticket to bliss and "happily ever after," but it is an incredible strength which blesses the couple with inspiration to know how to treat each other and their children (we all have times where we need help).
For Richard and I our experience was very sweet and simple. We had our family and some close friends in our temple sealing (marriage) and more who waited for us outside. I feel like our marriage has been helped and strengthened because of our determination to include God in it.
For example, when we have felt frustrated, annoyed, or hurt by each other, we have silently and individually turned to God and asked for help and He has softened our hearts. For an even clearer example, a few weeks ago, we had made plans to go out on a date while some friends watched Will for us. I was so excited about this date because we had been slightly disconnected from each other because of being so busy and stressed. As I talked to Rich on the phone I mentioned our plans, asking what time I should tell our friends to watch Will. Rich said he'd rather do it another weekend because he wasn't feeling like going through the hassle and was so exhausted. We ended the phone call frustrated and mad. I fumed alone for a good 10 minutes. My mind started to pull out a garbage list (aka began trying to rail on Rich), and I knew that wasn't the right thing to do. I stopped and started to pray. I explained my deep frustration, and as I prayed I realized that I wasn't mad at Rich, but I was so desperate to go on a date with him because I missed him and his attention so much. Right after this insight came to me, I got a text from Rich saying he was sorry and that he'd love to go on our date still. It was simple and it saved us further miscommunication and hurt feelings, all because we both prayed and both were blessed with a better solution than we had on our own.
Life is hard enough with all that attacks marriages. I am thankful for an eternal marriage. I am thankful for the strength it is to us. Rich and I entered our marriage with the end in mind. We understood there would be super high moments and super low moments, and we both committed to working through them together with our Heavenly Father's guidance. We have received strength, direction, and inspiration. We have been blessed with abundant love and the faith to do things we had no idea how they could work. God has directed our steps and helped us as we turn our hearts to Him.
Sadly, I have never been good at explaining how wonderful and sacred eternal marriage is. I am sure I have offended some as I have talked about eternal marriage and unintentionally made others feel that their marriage is lesser or something to that effect because it is not eternal. My heart aches at my great imperfections and inability to have the right words to use. While we as Mormons do believe all must have proper authority from God to enjoy an eternal family/marriage, we highly regard and cherish the sanctity of marriage. It is a binding of man and woman which brings great strength to individuals and society at large. I have seen incredible marriages of people who are not Mormon; and have learned great lessons from what they do so well to make their marriage and family relationships close.
Eternal marriage makes sense to me. It aligns with how God works (through proper authority, laws and principles, and perpetuating the family unit). My heart rejoices that there are so many temples around the world which give a tremendous amount of people the opportunity to be married there. Our joy, growth, and lives are magnified and blessed.
I know temple marriage to be of God. It is light and truth.
One of the most beautiful truths about our doctrine is that we believe that families can be together forever; that means no "'til death do we part." Some individuals and religions proclaim that they believe the same thing too. The difference between the Mormon belief and other's belief that families are forever is that we have what we call the proper authority from God. What this means is, when Christ's gospel and priesthood (authority to act in God's name and heal and bless as He would) was taken from the earth during the dark ages, the proper priesthood authority to bind marriages and families on earth and in heaven was lost. When Joseph Smith restored the gospel of Christ to the earth, so came the proper priesthood authority to bind and seal marriages for time and all eternity.
We want all families to enjoy this blessing of being together forever. In order to qualify for this blessing, we must be keeping the commandments of God, obeying the word of wisdom, have a testimony of God and Christ, and sustain our church leaders. This allows us to get a temple recommend; which is much like a security pass to enter an "authorized personnel only" area. The recommend basically states that you have been found pure and worth to enter the Lord's house and are able to feel and contribute to the Spirit there.
When a man and a woman want to get married in our temples, they seek a special recommend from their bishop. They then enter the temple in a beautiful room that is full of light. Family and friends who also have a temple recommend can attend the wedding- or as we call it, the sealing. The couple kneels before an alter (like in Biblical times). Then a man with proper authority from God is able to perform the sealing of man and wife for time and all eternity.
It is a covenant (like baptism) that both man and women enter into personally, and it is of full effect so long as both people live worthy of their covenant. This basically means that after a man and woman are married in the temple, they still have to strive to keep the commandments and work hard in their marriage. It isn't a golden ticket to bliss and "happily ever after," but it is an incredible strength which blesses the couple with inspiration to know how to treat each other and their children (we all have times where we need help).
For Richard and I our experience was very sweet and simple. We had our family and some close friends in our temple sealing (marriage) and more who waited for us outside. I feel like our marriage has been helped and strengthened because of our determination to include God in it.
For example, when we have felt frustrated, annoyed, or hurt by each other, we have silently and individually turned to God and asked for help and He has softened our hearts. For an even clearer example, a few weeks ago, we had made plans to go out on a date while some friends watched Will for us. I was so excited about this date because we had been slightly disconnected from each other because of being so busy and stressed. As I talked to Rich on the phone I mentioned our plans, asking what time I should tell our friends to watch Will. Rich said he'd rather do it another weekend because he wasn't feeling like going through the hassle and was so exhausted. We ended the phone call frustrated and mad. I fumed alone for a good 10 minutes. My mind started to pull out a garbage list (aka began trying to rail on Rich), and I knew that wasn't the right thing to do. I stopped and started to pray. I explained my deep frustration, and as I prayed I realized that I wasn't mad at Rich, but I was so desperate to go on a date with him because I missed him and his attention so much. Right after this insight came to me, I got a text from Rich saying he was sorry and that he'd love to go on our date still. It was simple and it saved us further miscommunication and hurt feelings, all because we both prayed and both were blessed with a better solution than we had on our own.
Life is hard enough with all that attacks marriages. I am thankful for an eternal marriage. I am thankful for the strength it is to us. Rich and I entered our marriage with the end in mind. We understood there would be super high moments and super low moments, and we both committed to working through them together with our Heavenly Father's guidance. We have received strength, direction, and inspiration. We have been blessed with abundant love and the faith to do things we had no idea how they could work. God has directed our steps and helped us as we turn our hearts to Him.
Sadly, I have never been good at explaining how wonderful and sacred eternal marriage is. I am sure I have offended some as I have talked about eternal marriage and unintentionally made others feel that their marriage is lesser or something to that effect because it is not eternal. My heart aches at my great imperfections and inability to have the right words to use. While we as Mormons do believe all must have proper authority from God to enjoy an eternal family/marriage, we highly regard and cherish the sanctity of marriage. It is a binding of man and woman which brings great strength to individuals and society at large. I have seen incredible marriages of people who are not Mormon; and have learned great lessons from what they do so well to make their marriage and family relationships close.
Eternal marriage makes sense to me. It aligns with how God works (through proper authority, laws and principles, and perpetuating the family unit). My heart rejoices that there are so many temples around the world which give a tremendous amount of people the opportunity to be married there. Our joy, growth, and lives are magnified and blessed.
I know temple marriage to be of God. It is light and truth.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
A Golden Moment
I am not quite sure what it has been, but this year I have been particularly impressed to pray more frequently for the ability to feel and recognize the Spirit. I realized as I was reading my scriptures that when Christ was preparing to leave His apostles, he was teaching them about the Second Comforter (the Holy Ghost) and how it would be sent to them to lead and guide them. Then when He visited the America's after His resurrection, one of His deepest desires was for the people to have the Holy Ghost to lead them in all truth.
I have felt within myself a greater desire to know Christ and to be Christ's. I guess this is what has motivated me to seek out the Spirit more often; because it is what He really wants for me.
I have come to notice a difference in my ability to receive and act on Spiritual promptings. I have come to more clearly recognize when God is asking me to do something, and I am trying to become better at quickly responding. I have been lead to share more openly personal conversion moments, and have been able to effectively help others with their needs.
I tell my family that I probably pray too much about the fine details in life; but I really feel like God has the better way of executing things than I do, and I can use all the help He will give me!
We are new to a ward (aka congregation) of primarily young-middle age families. We have felt a little lost because rather than having a small, very diverse ward, we have a very large, non-diverse ward; it is totally opposite of what we are used to! I (like I've said before) admit that I need to feel a sense of belonging through friends and having a way to serve. As I have prayed for help in this area (as small as it is), I have been blessed with the needed patience and simple acts of friendship that have acted as golden stars for my rainy days.
Recently I was called to served on the Relief Society Activities Committee. For our November activity, we put together Thanksgiving dinners for members in our ward who are struggling financially. Another portion of the night was spent getting to know each other better. I was in charge of the get to know you activity, and I spent a lot of time oozing over the Internet trying to find the perfect activity for our ward. I came across a lady's blog, and she mentioned how she and the other committee members of her ward prayed weekly to know the needs of their sisters, and if what they were doing was on target.
After reading her blog, I stopped what I was doing and said a simple prayer expressing my desire to find the right activity that would bring us sisters together, and would be just what we needed. I then kept looking for ideas and moved on with my day.
A few days later, as I was doing my gospel study I started to think about the activity and what we should do. In a clear, peaceful moment, the ideas came to me, and I combined a few researched activities into what I dubbed "Date That Sister".
This past Thursday we had our activity. I set everything up and was totally nervous about the game and how it would go over! (I shouldn't have worn a gray shirt... My nerves were very well displayed!) Each of the sisters had a jar full of questions in front of them. They had two minutes to introduce themselves in a clever way (like, my name is Messy Jessi, when I was really little I was super messy!) Then they started drawing questions from the jar and went back and forth asking each other the different questions until it was time for one side of the table to slide down and meet their new "date".
I was shocked by how well it went. The room was a loud buzz! I ended up having to used a trash can and a stick to get everyone's attention for when the time was up. (We women can't use our 6" voices when we're excited ;)). It filled my heart with gratitude seeing how much fun the ladies were having. A lot of women commented on how much they liked it, and one requested we just do that for a whole activity.
I know it is simple, but I felt the confirmation that I had listened to God's inspiration for what our sisters needed that night. I felt like He gave me a little golden moment to tuck away in my pocket as a memory of the good that happens when I listen to Him.
I am nothing extraordinary or special. I am far from perfect and "saintly", but I am realizing the huge difference in my happiness when I seek out the inspiration of God through the Holy Ghost. I know we matter enough to God for Him to direct our paths. I know He cares enough to answer a simple, heart felt prayer for direction and unity. The Lord really is merciful to the penitent seeker of truth.
I am thankful for my pocket full of golden moments.
I have felt within myself a greater desire to know Christ and to be Christ's. I guess this is what has motivated me to seek out the Spirit more often; because it is what He really wants for me.
I have come to notice a difference in my ability to receive and act on Spiritual promptings. I have come to more clearly recognize when God is asking me to do something, and I am trying to become better at quickly responding. I have been lead to share more openly personal conversion moments, and have been able to effectively help others with their needs.
I tell my family that I probably pray too much about the fine details in life; but I really feel like God has the better way of executing things than I do, and I can use all the help He will give me!
We are new to a ward (aka congregation) of primarily young-middle age families. We have felt a little lost because rather than having a small, very diverse ward, we have a very large, non-diverse ward; it is totally opposite of what we are used to! I (like I've said before) admit that I need to feel a sense of belonging through friends and having a way to serve. As I have prayed for help in this area (as small as it is), I have been blessed with the needed patience and simple acts of friendship that have acted as golden stars for my rainy days.
Recently I was called to served on the Relief Society Activities Committee. For our November activity, we put together Thanksgiving dinners for members in our ward who are struggling financially. Another portion of the night was spent getting to know each other better. I was in charge of the get to know you activity, and I spent a lot of time oozing over the Internet trying to find the perfect activity for our ward. I came across a lady's blog, and she mentioned how she and the other committee members of her ward prayed weekly to know the needs of their sisters, and if what they were doing was on target.
After reading her blog, I stopped what I was doing and said a simple prayer expressing my desire to find the right activity that would bring us sisters together, and would be just what we needed. I then kept looking for ideas and moved on with my day.
A few days later, as I was doing my gospel study I started to think about the activity and what we should do. In a clear, peaceful moment, the ideas came to me, and I combined a few researched activities into what I dubbed "Date That Sister".
This past Thursday we had our activity. I set everything up and was totally nervous about the game and how it would go over! (I shouldn't have worn a gray shirt... My nerves were very well displayed!) Each of the sisters had a jar full of questions in front of them. They had two minutes to introduce themselves in a clever way (like, my name is Messy Jessi, when I was really little I was super messy!) Then they started drawing questions from the jar and went back and forth asking each other the different questions until it was time for one side of the table to slide down and meet their new "date".
I was shocked by how well it went. The room was a loud buzz! I ended up having to used a trash can and a stick to get everyone's attention for when the time was up. (We women can't use our 6" voices when we're excited ;)). It filled my heart with gratitude seeing how much fun the ladies were having. A lot of women commented on how much they liked it, and one requested we just do that for a whole activity.
I know it is simple, but I felt the confirmation that I had listened to God's inspiration for what our sisters needed that night. I felt like He gave me a little golden moment to tuck away in my pocket as a memory of the good that happens when I listen to Him.
I am nothing extraordinary or special. I am far from perfect and "saintly", but I am realizing the huge difference in my happiness when I seek out the inspiration of God through the Holy Ghost. I know we matter enough to God for Him to direct our paths. I know He cares enough to answer a simple, heart felt prayer for direction and unity. The Lord really is merciful to the penitent seeker of truth.
I am thankful for my pocket full of golden moments.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Finding Healing in My Savior
When I was a Senior in high school I endured the most painful trial of my life. Because of its extreme personal nature I will not go into full detail, but I will share all that I feel prompted to write.
As I have already expressed, finding out that my brother is gay was very difficult for all of us. In my young immature mind it was hard to completely understand (I never saw him as gay- so I guess you could say it was a huge paradigm shift).
A little bit before my senior year of high school, a good friend of mine from when I was a pre-teen expressed to me that she felt like she was a lesbian. This threw a curve ball right into my jaw. I was shocked and had no idea what to say. I had already felt the close relationship with my sweet brother loosen (because I'm not the best at talking openly about uncomfortable things- especially things that could hurt feelings b/c of different view points) and now a friend too? Why would God allow this? Why were people I cared so deeply about experiencing these things that would inevitably lead them away from God because of His express command that all romantic relations are to be between a man and women (married)?
This began the frontal attack on my faith and everything I knew to be true. My mind felt trapped in a prison of questions, words of disbelief from the Adversary, and my constant efforts to defend myself against these things. It was, to put it lightly, exhausting in every way. There would be times I would slip into my bedroom, lay on the floor between my bed and the wall so no one could see me, and I would begin to pour out my heart in open frustration to God accompanied by many tears. I had no idea how to get better.
My prayers opened a new understanding to me though. As I prayed I could often feel at least one of two things. 1) God loved me and was aware of me, and 2) My Savior, because of His atonement, knew perfectly the depth of my sorrow and the snare of my mind. My soul was touched often by moments of sweet relief as I would ask for rest in Christ. Because of the necessity it was for me to so earnestly turn and ask for help, I found that balm in Giliad spoken of in the scriptures.
This was my state for months.
One night, as I was in secret prayer, I explained to God that I didn't care anymore if I had to suffer this mental hell for the rest of my life (even though I didn't want to!), I would be true to the faith I had come to know so deeply and so personally throughout my life. With this prayer being offered, I attended a church meeting for all the young women in our congregation (it reached out to all Klamath Falls, Keno, Lakeview, Bonanza, and some small towns in CA). There I listened to a talk given by a woman in our congregation. She expressed many things, including this, "Satan wants to control our thoughts so he can control us. If he has control over our thoughts there's no telling what he can do with our lives." Those words were sweet relief to my soul!! At last! The answer I so desperately needed! In a very literal sense, it felt like my mind was released and no longer captivated.
The complete healing took time. I would have to remind myself of those words and combat the Adversary's attempts to sneak back in my mind. I would pray for angels to guard my mind and help me, as well as for the comfort of Christ's atonement. My heart, still, is pricked with tender gratitude for the grace and protection I received.
Through this trial, I learned that Christ is real and His atonement is truly infinite. There is no doubt in my mind that He has the ability to heal all and any wounds if we turn our hearts to Him. I am humbled by His love and compassion for me. I have learned to trust in God's timing. Due to the length of my sore trial, I have this testimony embedded in my soul- it is real, personal, and a continuous strength to me.
I give you my personal testimony that God is real. Christ's sacrifice applies to all men. He died on the cross for our sins and our sorrows. He knows each one of us perfectly and has the ability to change our lives for the best.
I am eternally grateful for the healing I found in Christ.
As I have already expressed, finding out that my brother is gay was very difficult for all of us. In my young immature mind it was hard to completely understand (I never saw him as gay- so I guess you could say it was a huge paradigm shift).
A little bit before my senior year of high school, a good friend of mine from when I was a pre-teen expressed to me that she felt like she was a lesbian. This threw a curve ball right into my jaw. I was shocked and had no idea what to say. I had already felt the close relationship with my sweet brother loosen (because I'm not the best at talking openly about uncomfortable things- especially things that could hurt feelings b/c of different view points) and now a friend too? Why would God allow this? Why were people I cared so deeply about experiencing these things that would inevitably lead them away from God because of His express command that all romantic relations are to be between a man and women (married)?
This began the frontal attack on my faith and everything I knew to be true. My mind felt trapped in a prison of questions, words of disbelief from the Adversary, and my constant efforts to defend myself against these things. It was, to put it lightly, exhausting in every way. There would be times I would slip into my bedroom, lay on the floor between my bed and the wall so no one could see me, and I would begin to pour out my heart in open frustration to God accompanied by many tears. I had no idea how to get better.
My prayers opened a new understanding to me though. As I prayed I could often feel at least one of two things. 1) God loved me and was aware of me, and 2) My Savior, because of His atonement, knew perfectly the depth of my sorrow and the snare of my mind. My soul was touched often by moments of sweet relief as I would ask for rest in Christ. Because of the necessity it was for me to so earnestly turn and ask for help, I found that balm in Giliad spoken of in the scriptures.
This was my state for months.
One night, as I was in secret prayer, I explained to God that I didn't care anymore if I had to suffer this mental hell for the rest of my life (even though I didn't want to!), I would be true to the faith I had come to know so deeply and so personally throughout my life. With this prayer being offered, I attended a church meeting for all the young women in our congregation (it reached out to all Klamath Falls, Keno, Lakeview, Bonanza, and some small towns in CA). There I listened to a talk given by a woman in our congregation. She expressed many things, including this, "Satan wants to control our thoughts so he can control us. If he has control over our thoughts there's no telling what he can do with our lives." Those words were sweet relief to my soul!! At last! The answer I so desperately needed! In a very literal sense, it felt like my mind was released and no longer captivated.
The complete healing took time. I would have to remind myself of those words and combat the Adversary's attempts to sneak back in my mind. I would pray for angels to guard my mind and help me, as well as for the comfort of Christ's atonement. My heart, still, is pricked with tender gratitude for the grace and protection I received.
Through this trial, I learned that Christ is real and His atonement is truly infinite. There is no doubt in my mind that He has the ability to heal all and any wounds if we turn our hearts to Him. I am humbled by His love and compassion for me. I have learned to trust in God's timing. Due to the length of my sore trial, I have this testimony embedded in my soul- it is real, personal, and a continuous strength to me.
I give you my personal testimony that God is real. Christ's sacrifice applies to all men. He died on the cross for our sins and our sorrows. He knows each one of us perfectly and has the ability to change our lives for the best.
I am eternally grateful for the healing I found in Christ.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
My Mormon Faith
I have debated for some time on whether or not I should write this post. I have thought about it for a significant amount of time and figure that if I wasn't supposed to write it I wouldn't think about it so much. Mormonism is an often misunderstood or unknown religion. Its firm standards and unyielding truths have received both praise and criticism. I want to explain why I am a Latter-day Saint (or Mormon). I will be very open, honest, and real with you. In doing so, I ask for you to treat kindly the things I share- they are very personal, but they are important for me to share so that you can understand my personal conversion. I will break it down, and share different sections as to make reading it more coherent.
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My Initial Conversion:
My parents, Anne and Lynn Mortenson, are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They both grew up as Mormons and raised their 5 children in the LDS faith. As a kid, I didn't always like the things we did– going to church for 3 hours on Sunday felt like eternity! As I got older, I didn't like that I couldn't wear short shorts, tank-tops, and two piece swimming suits, and I especially didn't like that I couldn't date until I was 16. I fought against these things because I didn't understand why they were important.
When I hit 5th grade, I became very self-conscious. I wanted to be popular, beautiful, and liked. I struggled to find acceptance and had many times where I would go home to my loving mother and crumple in her arms crying because of some traumatic drama that had happened with my friends.
In 6th grade, I learned that my oldest brother, TJ (or Tyrel), had decided to leave our faith. This was the hardest time I can remember for my family. I didn't know the whole picture- the why's and the deep sorrows felt on both ends. It transformed my determination to live the gospel of Jesus Christ though; because seeing the immense sorrow it brought to both my parents, but especially my dad, I knew that despite how much I didn't understand, the gospel was essential to happiness. I made the determination that come hell or high water, I wouldn't leave the church. Later I found out that my brother left the church because he is homosexual. We have yet to bridge some gaps, but we as a family love each other deeply, and are grateful for the deep, binding relationships we have together. We value and cherish my brother and admire all that he does so well.
Upon entering 7th grade, I developed a slight eating disorder (I say slight because it wasn't full on anorexia and never was bulimia). I felt that in order to be popular I had to be very skinny and I started down the road to self loathing. It was dark, frustrating, and incomplete. I was selfish and unkind at times because I was too caught up in me to have sensitivity to other people. At this phase of life, I still didn't get what was so good about my religion.
All through this time, my parents were good about having Family Home Evening; one night a week where together we would say a prayer, gather around the piano and sing a song or two about God, and then we would read the scriptures (both the Book of Mormon and the Bible) and answer/ ask questions about what we read (head scratches, back scratches, etc were included as a perk ;)). This was a time where we all learned a lot, and although I put up a fight against it some nights, I loved the chance to ask my parents questions about what we read and why we do/ don't do some things.
The summer between 8th grade and 9th grade a beautiful transformation came to my life. My angel sister, Jena, has always been my best friend. What she did, I did- no question. At this time Jena was getting ready to take off for college. Together we started to do more to pray and read our scriptures (mostly the Book of Mormon). We studied together and shared feelings and inspiration we had come to our minds. As I prayed to God, slowly my thoughts about myself were changed. I came to know, without a doubt, that I am a spirit daughter of God and that He loves and cares for me. There would be days where I would feel lonely or insecure and as I prayed and asked for comfort, my whole heart would feel full- like I was being embraced in a kind, compassionate hug.
At this time, I also started paying attention more in church. I would bring paper and a pen and would take notes of the things that were spoken. There were so many things said that resonated within me. Things like, I have a Savior who died for me to not only suffer for my sins, but to grant me comfort. Or that by not dating until I was 16 I would be protected from making bad moral choices (I hadn't followed this closely, and so I knew that it was true because of some of the things I experienced). Other things that really touched me were that by reading my scriptures I could know what God would have me do, and that by praying I could receive peace and comfort. All of these things I had been taught since I was a baby took on new meaning, and I fell in love with the change that was taking place in my life. I was happier, I could care less about what people thought about me, and I loved my body again (I stopped starving myself to be "skinny"). I really started trying to live what I was being taught. I know I wasn't perfect at it, but as I tried I was so much happier- and that was all the testimony I needed to know that the gospel was good.
****
The Book of Mormon:
The Book of Mormon throws many religious sects off. It has been misinterpreted as, "the Mormon's Bible", and has been accused of being "made-up" by Joseph Smith (the man who translated it through the direction of God). As someone who has read the Book of Mormon several times, I can give you my honest, personal testimony that that book is not made up. It speaks of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and does not deviate from Christian truths. It espouses belief in God, faith, baptism by proper authority, and the essential need to put off the natural man and turn our hearts to God. I know that it is true. Its words are so powerful to me. I have spent a significant amount of time reading it, and as I have done so my life has been filled with happiness and clarity, and for me, that is a testimony that it is of God not the Devil.
As for anyone who thinks that Joseph Smith "made it up" by reading the Bible and copying things that "sound good" I challenge you to study ancient language and grammar, and then you tell me if a man with a 3rd grade education could do such a thing. I promise you that it is impossible, and that if he had done so, the Book would have been dismissed long ago as a farce.
The Book of Mormon stands firm on its own. What I mean by that, is that I could give you my personal testimony of it until I am blue in the face and it might not do an ounce of good. But if you pick up the Book of Mormon with the intent to understand if it is the word of God written, you will have a beautiful feeling come into your heart. It will speak for itself.
****
Joseph Smith:
Another "issue" people have with the Mormon faith is Joseph Smith, the first prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the one who was visited by God and other ministering angels to restore God's truths to His children.
Joseph Smith was a teenage boy who was caught up in the religious debacle of his time. Each religious sector was fighting against the other. He was confused as to who was right, or which church was true. If you can imagine a time of much confusion in your life, apply that to young Joseph.
In a quest for an answer, he went and prayed to God because of the scripture he read in the bible (in James) saying that if any man lacked wisdom let him ask of God who gives to men liberally. Joseph gave this a try, and as he prayed an astounding thing happened. His prayer was clearly, and directly answered!
If you can imagine being 14 and receiving such an immediate, clear answer to your prayers, I am sure you can understand his awe and the heavy weight received into his heart. It is my belief and testimony that Joseph Smith received this answer because, 1) God knew he was humble and willing to accept the answer He gave him, 2) he was a young boy and hadn't formed as many prejudices and staunch beliefs as older people tend to, 3) God knew that Joseph, although imperfect and human like the rest of man kind, wouldn't try to make the restored Gospel about getting glory, recognition, praise, or wealth for himself.
Joseph Smith was an honest, good man. He had his flaws without doubt. But the goodness of this man rivals any hero I have ever heard of, and his lasting impact for good has changed the world.
****
Temple Worship:
As Latter-day Saints we worship in temples that are all across the US as well as in other continents. We believe that temple worship is sacred and very important. The reason we do not talk openly about what we do precisely in the temple is because the ordinances performed there are sacred, and because they are sacred it makes it inappropriate to talk about them casually or carelessly.
The work done in temples is to unite families together for eternity, and to help individuals on their road to personal discipleship and worship. We believe that everyone needs these ordinances in their lives to return to live with God again.
While I will not explain what happens in temples, I will share with you my feelings as I am in the temple. Temples are very clean, quiet, reverent places to worship God and contemplate our relationship with Him, things that are going on in our lives, and provides us with the ability to serve our ancestors who have gone before us and haven't had the chance to receive these ordinances that will allow them to progress spiritually as well.
When I am in the temple I feel peace. Like anywhere or doing anything, I do have to work to control my thoughts so I am focused on worshiping rather than the dirty dishes left in my house or the bills we need to pay. When I close out those things and focus on my relationship with God, I feel happy and calm- like everything is right inside my soul. When I am at the temple, I feel that God loves me and wants me to be happy. I also feel that He loves all His children, and I find myself renewing my determination to better reach out to people around me. The more often I go, the more easily I feel the Spirit while I am there. Each time I go I feel like I understand the temple a little better- just like how I feel when I read my scriptures; the more I do, the more I understand of them.
The temple is a beautiful house of worship. A place where I feel like I can rest from my worries and cares. It is a place of light and truth.
****
Christ's Nature:
Now, this part is just me speaking freely about religion in general. I felt like I should include it, so here it is!
There is a vast misconception about Christ and His nature. It is true that He is a kind, loving person. It is true that He desires peace and good will between men. It is not true however that He is okay with anything and everything so long as it makes people feel warm and fuzzy and avoid contention. There are laws that He strictly follows and commands us to follow. Picture the account in the Bible of Jesus over throwing the Money Changer's tables, and scattering the animals there to be bought for sacrifice. He was fierce and to the point- what they were doing was not following God's law.
While it is important to be kind and loving to all those around us, it is also essential to draw a rigid line that follows God's doctrine. It is okay to not be morally permissive. God is not that way. His laws do not change and it is because He loves us and knows all laws by which He created us.
I am being a Christian by not following every trendy change that comes along; and yes, I am thinking specifically about marriage.
****
Gay Marriage:
The rights for gay/ lesbian people are on the forefront currently. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ and as a sister to a gay brother, I can say that we hold nothing, absolutely nothing, against people who feel same sex attraction. Where we, as Latter-day Saints, draw the line is between feeling homosexual feelings and acting on those feelings.
I am baffled why some people feel same sex attraction, or I guess why God would allow people to feel this way if it is so clearly against His instruction that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. (I told you I would be real and honest, this is me being so.) In so many ways it would be easier to go along with allowing homosexual people to get married, but I feel strongly that I have to do the harder thing and stand for what God has taught us. Do I want homosexuals to be happy? Yes!! I so do! Do I agree with their choice to act upon their homosexuality? No, I don't. Do I look down on them? Absolutely not, I just have a different view point.
I feel compassionately for people in this situation. While it is difficult for me to understand why God would create people with homosexual feelings, I do know that He loves all His children: the homosexual to the heterosexual, and our choices matter significantly to Him.
Like I mentioned, my brother is homosexual. He is one of the most incredible people you will meet. He is more genuine and real than many, and has talents and skills that I learn from constantly. Our stance on gay marriage is one that causes us both sadness. I want my brother to be afforded every happiness in the world. I also know though that we have to live by certain laws (God's laws). It is difficult and makes me feel torn: torn between immediate happiness and that peace and ease that comes with going with the flow, and between knowing God's standards and the eternal consequences for ignoring Him. I have faith that by staying on the Lord's side of the issue the right things will happen, but I do worry about my brother loving me all the same. I am sure you can understand my feelings.
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The Word of Wisdom- Why Mormons Don't Smoke, Drink, or Chew:
When people find out that we don't drink, most are very respectful of that. In high school I was told I would never make it- that surely I was going to go wild some day and hit the bottle. So far I haven't, nor do I have any plans to.
Back at the early beginnings of the church, Emma (Joseph Smith's wife) and the other women were sick and tired of cleaning up the chew the men would leave on the floors after church. She went to Joseph and asked for help. This caused Joseph to ponder on the subject, and because he was thinking about it, God revealed that tobacco, alcoholic beverages, and strong hot drinks were not good for the body. This was before the scientific back up was done, and now it all makes sense spiritually and scientifically.
For me, I have never felt like I have lost out on anything because I don't drink. I have never done something I can't remember, and when sorrows come I hit my knees rather than the bottle for solutions. My body feels healthy and strong. When I am with my friends socializing, we talk about real things that matter and goof off like anyone else.
The main reason for staying away from alcohol and the like is protection: protection from conspiring people that would seek to do you harm (as a woman I am really thankful for this because it puts me in better places- places were I am less likely to be attacked or used for my sexiness, haha, but seriously...). It also protects your physical body. The excess amounts of alcohol consumed does terrible things to your liver and doesn't do much to help your smell ;) Now, one might say, "but I don't drink that much to throw out my liver, why not just a little bit of alcohol for you Mormons?" I would respond that it's the same reason why if you're on a diet from sweets you shouldn't sit in a candy shop and say, "just one..." Once you start it's too hard to stop.
Another reason for abstaining from alcohol, smoking, drugs, and the like is because when addiction sets in, part of your agency (your free ability to choose) is taken away. You are now dependent on a substance for your body to feel like it can function. These foreign substances also cause your internal organs extra strain and harm and prevents you from living a healthy, full life.
I have seen the difference it makes living by these principles. My great grandfather was an alcoholic. My grandpa does not have the best memories of his father. Much of the time they could have spent together was waisted because his father was too drunk and therefore too angry to be involved in the family's activities. I have seen my grandpa weep at this. It is not something I want for my family, it is not the type of person I want to be, and it is not the type of person I want to be married to.
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The Priesthood:
When Christ was on the earth, the Priesthood (authority to act in God's name or bless as He would bless) was put on the earth. Christ and His 12 disciples went about preaching the word of God, blessing and healing the sick, and comforting the afflicted.
During what is called the Dark Ages, the Priesthood authority was lost from the earth. Widespread disbelief and contentions arose and the authority of God to act in His name was removed from men. When Joseph Smith restored the Lord's church, so came the proper authority to act in God's name. This is a very sacred responsibility.
Young men when they are 12 years old are given the Priesthood. They are able to officiate in certain roles like passing the sacrament we partake of each Sunday. As they mature, they are given more and more responsibilities within the Priesthood. This is to help them grow in their duty to God and to teach them early how to serve and look out for those they are around.
The Priesthood is essential for baptism, the sacrament, temple covenants, blessings to heal the sick, blessings of comfort/direction, and baby blessings.
As you read the next portion, understand that it may be a paradigm shift for you. I will try to communicate the comfort and natural feelings associated with Priesthood blessings if you are willing to listen with an open mind.
My dad, as I mentioned, is a member of the church and is a Priesthood holder. He is a kind, loving man who watches over and provides for his family diligently. Every year before going back to school, my dad would give each of us a Father's Blessing. This blessing was of terrific comfort. To do so, he would place his hands on my head and offer a prayer that was directed by the Spirit- that means that the words he spoke came from inspiration to his mind, they were not planned out or thought of before hand. The Lord communicated through my father what I needed at that time. At times he would communicate that my Father in Heaven wanted me to know that He loves me and is grateful for my decisions. He would explain warnings, and bless me to chose those who I dated wisely. All were things that I needed at that time.
One time I was really torn up. I had just broken up with a boyfriend I really liked and was struggling to understand why we couldn't be together and why I couldn't get over it all. My dad came into my room one night after I had asked to skip dinner to be alone. He came and sat at the end of my bed and we talked about the things that were bothering me. My dad has always had the best counsel and advice for me. He listed to my concerns, and then I asked him for a blessing. He gave me a blessing of comfort. I felt peace inside me after the blessing and hugged my dad for a long time. In the weeks to come, my heart mended because I knew that there was greater promise for me out there because of the blessing.
Since being married to my sweetheart, Richard, he too has been able to do the same thing for me. When our son, William, was born, he was given a name and a Priesthood blessing at church. Richard orated what the Spirit dictated. It was a short, sweet blessing that will guide William as he grows.
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Women In the Church:
Because the Priesthood is only give to the men, some feminists think it is unfair. I will tell you that I have never once felt under valued or significant in this church because of it. There are many ways women serve in this church, and it would not function without us.
Women serve in many different varieties, here are just a few:
-Primary callings
•from being in the presidency which makes sure lessons are taught, activities are put on, etc, to being a teacher
-Sunday school teacher
•from teaching old people to the youth in the church, women can teach all ages
-Sacrament meeting talks
•each Sunday members of the congregation get up and speak about gospel topics, women included
-Leading and playing music
•during our sacrament services, primary meetings, relief society, and young women's music is always needed!
-Relief society
•again, from being in the presidency, a teacher, a visiting teacher, an activity coordinator women sere in these roles
-Young women's
•women lead the younger girls in the ward in their lessons, activities, and projects.
(in our church each area like primary, young women's, and relief society are made up of a presidency of three women as well as a secretary, then each Sunday there is a teacher for each different class. If you do the math that's a lot of callings right there for just the women!)
Those are just a few ways women serve in the Mormon church! We are busy women! There is so much that we can do. I never feel diminished because I am a woman Mormon. My husband and I counsel together over everything: how to spend money, what job to take, when to have a baby, fitness goals, frustrations, you name it. He is kind and unselfish and we both give and take.
I celebrate being a women in the LDS church- I have so much opportunity if I want it.
••••
As I have more time, I may continue to update and add on to what I have shared, including more topics of interest. I accept and encourage all and/or any questions about my Mormon faith. While I am imperfect in many ways, I hope my life can help you see what Mormonism is all about. I apologize for all things I have done incorrectly. I am trying, aren't we all?
****
My Initial Conversion:
My parents, Anne and Lynn Mortenson, are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They both grew up as Mormons and raised their 5 children in the LDS faith. As a kid, I didn't always like the things we did– going to church for 3 hours on Sunday felt like eternity! As I got older, I didn't like that I couldn't wear short shorts, tank-tops, and two piece swimming suits, and I especially didn't like that I couldn't date until I was 16. I fought against these things because I didn't understand why they were important.
When I hit 5th grade, I became very self-conscious. I wanted to be popular, beautiful, and liked. I struggled to find acceptance and had many times where I would go home to my loving mother and crumple in her arms crying because of some traumatic drama that had happened with my friends.
In 6th grade, I learned that my oldest brother, TJ (or Tyrel), had decided to leave our faith. This was the hardest time I can remember for my family. I didn't know the whole picture- the why's and the deep sorrows felt on both ends. It transformed my determination to live the gospel of Jesus Christ though; because seeing the immense sorrow it brought to both my parents, but especially my dad, I knew that despite how much I didn't understand, the gospel was essential to happiness. I made the determination that come hell or high water, I wouldn't leave the church. Later I found out that my brother left the church because he is homosexual. We have yet to bridge some gaps, but we as a family love each other deeply, and are grateful for the deep, binding relationships we have together. We value and cherish my brother and admire all that he does so well.
Upon entering 7th grade, I developed a slight eating disorder (I say slight because it wasn't full on anorexia and never was bulimia). I felt that in order to be popular I had to be very skinny and I started down the road to self loathing. It was dark, frustrating, and incomplete. I was selfish and unkind at times because I was too caught up in me to have sensitivity to other people. At this phase of life, I still didn't get what was so good about my religion.
All through this time, my parents were good about having Family Home Evening; one night a week where together we would say a prayer, gather around the piano and sing a song or two about God, and then we would read the scriptures (both the Book of Mormon and the Bible) and answer/ ask questions about what we read (head scratches, back scratches, etc were included as a perk ;)). This was a time where we all learned a lot, and although I put up a fight against it some nights, I loved the chance to ask my parents questions about what we read and why we do/ don't do some things.
The summer between 8th grade and 9th grade a beautiful transformation came to my life. My angel sister, Jena, has always been my best friend. What she did, I did- no question. At this time Jena was getting ready to take off for college. Together we started to do more to pray and read our scriptures (mostly the Book of Mormon). We studied together and shared feelings and inspiration we had come to our minds. As I prayed to God, slowly my thoughts about myself were changed. I came to know, without a doubt, that I am a spirit daughter of God and that He loves and cares for me. There would be days where I would feel lonely or insecure and as I prayed and asked for comfort, my whole heart would feel full- like I was being embraced in a kind, compassionate hug.
At this time, I also started paying attention more in church. I would bring paper and a pen and would take notes of the things that were spoken. There were so many things said that resonated within me. Things like, I have a Savior who died for me to not only suffer for my sins, but to grant me comfort. Or that by not dating until I was 16 I would be protected from making bad moral choices (I hadn't followed this closely, and so I knew that it was true because of some of the things I experienced). Other things that really touched me were that by reading my scriptures I could know what God would have me do, and that by praying I could receive peace and comfort. All of these things I had been taught since I was a baby took on new meaning, and I fell in love with the change that was taking place in my life. I was happier, I could care less about what people thought about me, and I loved my body again (I stopped starving myself to be "skinny"). I really started trying to live what I was being taught. I know I wasn't perfect at it, but as I tried I was so much happier- and that was all the testimony I needed to know that the gospel was good.
****
The Book of Mormon:
The Book of Mormon throws many religious sects off. It has been misinterpreted as, "the Mormon's Bible", and has been accused of being "made-up" by Joseph Smith (the man who translated it through the direction of God). As someone who has read the Book of Mormon several times, I can give you my honest, personal testimony that that book is not made up. It speaks of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and does not deviate from Christian truths. It espouses belief in God, faith, baptism by proper authority, and the essential need to put off the natural man and turn our hearts to God. I know that it is true. Its words are so powerful to me. I have spent a significant amount of time reading it, and as I have done so my life has been filled with happiness and clarity, and for me, that is a testimony that it is of God not the Devil.
As for anyone who thinks that Joseph Smith "made it up" by reading the Bible and copying things that "sound good" I challenge you to study ancient language and grammar, and then you tell me if a man with a 3rd grade education could do such a thing. I promise you that it is impossible, and that if he had done so, the Book would have been dismissed long ago as a farce.
The Book of Mormon stands firm on its own. What I mean by that, is that I could give you my personal testimony of it until I am blue in the face and it might not do an ounce of good. But if you pick up the Book of Mormon with the intent to understand if it is the word of God written, you will have a beautiful feeling come into your heart. It will speak for itself.
****
Joseph Smith:
Another "issue" people have with the Mormon faith is Joseph Smith, the first prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the one who was visited by God and other ministering angels to restore God's truths to His children.
Joseph Smith was a teenage boy who was caught up in the religious debacle of his time. Each religious sector was fighting against the other. He was confused as to who was right, or which church was true. If you can imagine a time of much confusion in your life, apply that to young Joseph.
In a quest for an answer, he went and prayed to God because of the scripture he read in the bible (in James) saying that if any man lacked wisdom let him ask of God who gives to men liberally. Joseph gave this a try, and as he prayed an astounding thing happened. His prayer was clearly, and directly answered!
If you can imagine being 14 and receiving such an immediate, clear answer to your prayers, I am sure you can understand his awe and the heavy weight received into his heart. It is my belief and testimony that Joseph Smith received this answer because, 1) God knew he was humble and willing to accept the answer He gave him, 2) he was a young boy and hadn't formed as many prejudices and staunch beliefs as older people tend to, 3) God knew that Joseph, although imperfect and human like the rest of man kind, wouldn't try to make the restored Gospel about getting glory, recognition, praise, or wealth for himself.
Joseph Smith was an honest, good man. He had his flaws without doubt. But the goodness of this man rivals any hero I have ever heard of, and his lasting impact for good has changed the world.
****
Temple Worship:
As Latter-day Saints we worship in temples that are all across the US as well as in other continents. We believe that temple worship is sacred and very important. The reason we do not talk openly about what we do precisely in the temple is because the ordinances performed there are sacred, and because they are sacred it makes it inappropriate to talk about them casually or carelessly.
The work done in temples is to unite families together for eternity, and to help individuals on their road to personal discipleship and worship. We believe that everyone needs these ordinances in their lives to return to live with God again.
While I will not explain what happens in temples, I will share with you my feelings as I am in the temple. Temples are very clean, quiet, reverent places to worship God and contemplate our relationship with Him, things that are going on in our lives, and provides us with the ability to serve our ancestors who have gone before us and haven't had the chance to receive these ordinances that will allow them to progress spiritually as well.
When I am in the temple I feel peace. Like anywhere or doing anything, I do have to work to control my thoughts so I am focused on worshiping rather than the dirty dishes left in my house or the bills we need to pay. When I close out those things and focus on my relationship with God, I feel happy and calm- like everything is right inside my soul. When I am at the temple, I feel that God loves me and wants me to be happy. I also feel that He loves all His children, and I find myself renewing my determination to better reach out to people around me. The more often I go, the more easily I feel the Spirit while I am there. Each time I go I feel like I understand the temple a little better- just like how I feel when I read my scriptures; the more I do, the more I understand of them.
The temple is a beautiful house of worship. A place where I feel like I can rest from my worries and cares. It is a place of light and truth.
****
Christ's Nature:
Now, this part is just me speaking freely about religion in general. I felt like I should include it, so here it is!
There is a vast misconception about Christ and His nature. It is true that He is a kind, loving person. It is true that He desires peace and good will between men. It is not true however that He is okay with anything and everything so long as it makes people feel warm and fuzzy and avoid contention. There are laws that He strictly follows and commands us to follow. Picture the account in the Bible of Jesus over throwing the Money Changer's tables, and scattering the animals there to be bought for sacrifice. He was fierce and to the point- what they were doing was not following God's law.
While it is important to be kind and loving to all those around us, it is also essential to draw a rigid line that follows God's doctrine. It is okay to not be morally permissive. God is not that way. His laws do not change and it is because He loves us and knows all laws by which He created us.
I am being a Christian by not following every trendy change that comes along; and yes, I am thinking specifically about marriage.
****
Gay Marriage:
The rights for gay/ lesbian people are on the forefront currently. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ and as a sister to a gay brother, I can say that we hold nothing, absolutely nothing, against people who feel same sex attraction. Where we, as Latter-day Saints, draw the line is between feeling homosexual feelings and acting on those feelings.
I am baffled why some people feel same sex attraction, or I guess why God would allow people to feel this way if it is so clearly against His instruction that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. (I told you I would be real and honest, this is me being so.) In so many ways it would be easier to go along with allowing homosexual people to get married, but I feel strongly that I have to do the harder thing and stand for what God has taught us. Do I want homosexuals to be happy? Yes!! I so do! Do I agree with their choice to act upon their homosexuality? No, I don't. Do I look down on them? Absolutely not, I just have a different view point.
I feel compassionately for people in this situation. While it is difficult for me to understand why God would create people with homosexual feelings, I do know that He loves all His children: the homosexual to the heterosexual, and our choices matter significantly to Him.
Like I mentioned, my brother is homosexual. He is one of the most incredible people you will meet. He is more genuine and real than many, and has talents and skills that I learn from constantly. Our stance on gay marriage is one that causes us both sadness. I want my brother to be afforded every happiness in the world. I also know though that we have to live by certain laws (God's laws). It is difficult and makes me feel torn: torn between immediate happiness and that peace and ease that comes with going with the flow, and between knowing God's standards and the eternal consequences for ignoring Him. I have faith that by staying on the Lord's side of the issue the right things will happen, but I do worry about my brother loving me all the same. I am sure you can understand my feelings.
****
The Word of Wisdom- Why Mormons Don't Smoke, Drink, or Chew:
When people find out that we don't drink, most are very respectful of that. In high school I was told I would never make it- that surely I was going to go wild some day and hit the bottle. So far I haven't, nor do I have any plans to.
Back at the early beginnings of the church, Emma (Joseph Smith's wife) and the other women were sick and tired of cleaning up the chew the men would leave on the floors after church. She went to Joseph and asked for help. This caused Joseph to ponder on the subject, and because he was thinking about it, God revealed that tobacco, alcoholic beverages, and strong hot drinks were not good for the body. This was before the scientific back up was done, and now it all makes sense spiritually and scientifically.
For me, I have never felt like I have lost out on anything because I don't drink. I have never done something I can't remember, and when sorrows come I hit my knees rather than the bottle for solutions. My body feels healthy and strong. When I am with my friends socializing, we talk about real things that matter and goof off like anyone else.
The main reason for staying away from alcohol and the like is protection: protection from conspiring people that would seek to do you harm (as a woman I am really thankful for this because it puts me in better places- places were I am less likely to be attacked or used for my sexiness, haha, but seriously...). It also protects your physical body. The excess amounts of alcohol consumed does terrible things to your liver and doesn't do much to help your smell ;) Now, one might say, "but I don't drink that much to throw out my liver, why not just a little bit of alcohol for you Mormons?" I would respond that it's the same reason why if you're on a diet from sweets you shouldn't sit in a candy shop and say, "just one..." Once you start it's too hard to stop.
Another reason for abstaining from alcohol, smoking, drugs, and the like is because when addiction sets in, part of your agency (your free ability to choose) is taken away. You are now dependent on a substance for your body to feel like it can function. These foreign substances also cause your internal organs extra strain and harm and prevents you from living a healthy, full life.
I have seen the difference it makes living by these principles. My great grandfather was an alcoholic. My grandpa does not have the best memories of his father. Much of the time they could have spent together was waisted because his father was too drunk and therefore too angry to be involved in the family's activities. I have seen my grandpa weep at this. It is not something I want for my family, it is not the type of person I want to be, and it is not the type of person I want to be married to.
****
The Priesthood:
When Christ was on the earth, the Priesthood (authority to act in God's name or bless as He would bless) was put on the earth. Christ and His 12 disciples went about preaching the word of God, blessing and healing the sick, and comforting the afflicted.
During what is called the Dark Ages, the Priesthood authority was lost from the earth. Widespread disbelief and contentions arose and the authority of God to act in His name was removed from men. When Joseph Smith restored the Lord's church, so came the proper authority to act in God's name. This is a very sacred responsibility.
Young men when they are 12 years old are given the Priesthood. They are able to officiate in certain roles like passing the sacrament we partake of each Sunday. As they mature, they are given more and more responsibilities within the Priesthood. This is to help them grow in their duty to God and to teach them early how to serve and look out for those they are around.
The Priesthood is essential for baptism, the sacrament, temple covenants, blessings to heal the sick, blessings of comfort/direction, and baby blessings.
As you read the next portion, understand that it may be a paradigm shift for you. I will try to communicate the comfort and natural feelings associated with Priesthood blessings if you are willing to listen with an open mind.
My dad, as I mentioned, is a member of the church and is a Priesthood holder. He is a kind, loving man who watches over and provides for his family diligently. Every year before going back to school, my dad would give each of us a Father's Blessing. This blessing was of terrific comfort. To do so, he would place his hands on my head and offer a prayer that was directed by the Spirit- that means that the words he spoke came from inspiration to his mind, they were not planned out or thought of before hand. The Lord communicated through my father what I needed at that time. At times he would communicate that my Father in Heaven wanted me to know that He loves me and is grateful for my decisions. He would explain warnings, and bless me to chose those who I dated wisely. All were things that I needed at that time.
One time I was really torn up. I had just broken up with a boyfriend I really liked and was struggling to understand why we couldn't be together and why I couldn't get over it all. My dad came into my room one night after I had asked to skip dinner to be alone. He came and sat at the end of my bed and we talked about the things that were bothering me. My dad has always had the best counsel and advice for me. He listed to my concerns, and then I asked him for a blessing. He gave me a blessing of comfort. I felt peace inside me after the blessing and hugged my dad for a long time. In the weeks to come, my heart mended because I knew that there was greater promise for me out there because of the blessing.
Since being married to my sweetheart, Richard, he too has been able to do the same thing for me. When our son, William, was born, he was given a name and a Priesthood blessing at church. Richard orated what the Spirit dictated. It was a short, sweet blessing that will guide William as he grows.
****
Women In the Church:
Because the Priesthood is only give to the men, some feminists think it is unfair. I will tell you that I have never once felt under valued or significant in this church because of it. There are many ways women serve in this church, and it would not function without us.
Women serve in many different varieties, here are just a few:
-Primary callings
•from being in the presidency which makes sure lessons are taught, activities are put on, etc, to being a teacher
-Sunday school teacher
•from teaching old people to the youth in the church, women can teach all ages
-Sacrament meeting talks
•each Sunday members of the congregation get up and speak about gospel topics, women included
-Leading and playing music
•during our sacrament services, primary meetings, relief society, and young women's music is always needed!
-Relief society
•again, from being in the presidency, a teacher, a visiting teacher, an activity coordinator women sere in these roles
-Young women's
•women lead the younger girls in the ward in their lessons, activities, and projects.
(in our church each area like primary, young women's, and relief society are made up of a presidency of three women as well as a secretary, then each Sunday there is a teacher for each different class. If you do the math that's a lot of callings right there for just the women!)
Those are just a few ways women serve in the Mormon church! We are busy women! There is so much that we can do. I never feel diminished because I am a woman Mormon. My husband and I counsel together over everything: how to spend money, what job to take, when to have a baby, fitness goals, frustrations, you name it. He is kind and unselfish and we both give and take.
I celebrate being a women in the LDS church- I have so much opportunity if I want it.
••••
As I have more time, I may continue to update and add on to what I have shared, including more topics of interest. I accept and encourage all and/or any questions about my Mormon faith. While I am imperfect in many ways, I hope my life can help you see what Mormonism is all about. I apologize for all things I have done incorrectly. I am trying, aren't we all?
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
The Grass Is Greener Where?
When we lived in Atlantic, Iowa a year ago, our thoughts were, "we can't wait to move to the next place!" When we lived in Eden Prairie, Minnesota a few months later, despite enjoying ourselves there a lot, our thoughts were, "man! We can't wait to get moving to the next project (to get out of this hotel!)" Once we moved to Dodge City, Kansas a few months later we thought, "man... The next move is coming right up. We can't wait to get out of podunk Dodge!" And now that we are settled down in Las Vegas, Nevada for an indefinitely long period of time we think back and say, "aw... I miss this about Atlantic..." or "Remember this about Minnesota..." or "I miss so and so from Dodge."
Friday night we watched, "Midnight In Paris" for our date. We both really enjoyed the movie, and took away from the it to make our present our ideal time. Our abundant moving was a hassle, and I am still very grateful for the opportunity to be grounded to one city for a long time; but we gained more than we could have imagine from all our moving around. We had a lot of ideal experiences while being traveling gypsies. I know we recognized people's friendliness and kindness to us then, but I don't think we realized how out of the ordinary it was. We didn't realize how many gems we would encounter, and how their compassionate love and sincere desires to know us would impact our hearts.
I am like my sweet grandma, Beth. She and I need friends like flowers need sunshine to flourish. Our permanent situation hasn't brought us the quick friendships we anticipated (like in all the other areas we've lived). I struggle privately (and now publicly...) with this a lot. It is consistently in my petitions to the Lord to know how to make real connections with people, or maybe even A connection at all with them. I have been blessed with small moments of friendship, for which I know are heaven sent tender mercies to me. Although struggles are never comfortable it has helped me to gain a deeper love and gratitude to all those who have opened their hearts to my sweet little family, and who have taken us in without a backwards glance. We have received so much love and warmth that I have a tremendously full heart. The grass has always been green in our pasture; sometimes we have just been too close to the greenery to recognize its vibrancy.
I have yet to receive a miracle solution to my petitions to God; but I know he is listening and will help meet my needs by either changing my heart and giving me new eyes to see through, or by helping me to be proactive in a new way that I have yet to figure out and therefore will lead us to the real sincere friends we need (and who hopefully need us as well); And in the mean time, I am thankful for the green pasture we do have; for all of our incredible, loving family and friends who we are not privileged to live close to at this time.
It is a blessing and curse to have such incredible people in our lives who live just too far away!!
Our pasture is green, and I do recognize God's love and tender mercies performed on our behalf... I am a blessed girl to have God care for me.
Friday night we watched, "Midnight In Paris" for our date. We both really enjoyed the movie, and took away from the it to make our present our ideal time. Our abundant moving was a hassle, and I am still very grateful for the opportunity to be grounded to one city for a long time; but we gained more than we could have imagine from all our moving around. We had a lot of ideal experiences while being traveling gypsies. I know we recognized people's friendliness and kindness to us then, but I don't think we realized how out of the ordinary it was. We didn't realize how many gems we would encounter, and how their compassionate love and sincere desires to know us would impact our hearts.
I am like my sweet grandma, Beth. She and I need friends like flowers need sunshine to flourish. Our permanent situation hasn't brought us the quick friendships we anticipated (like in all the other areas we've lived). I struggle privately (and now publicly...) with this a lot. It is consistently in my petitions to the Lord to know how to make real connections with people, or maybe even A connection at all with them. I have been blessed with small moments of friendship, for which I know are heaven sent tender mercies to me. Although struggles are never comfortable it has helped me to gain a deeper love and gratitude to all those who have opened their hearts to my sweet little family, and who have taken us in without a backwards glance. We have received so much love and warmth that I have a tremendously full heart. The grass has always been green in our pasture; sometimes we have just been too close to the greenery to recognize its vibrancy.
I have yet to receive a miracle solution to my petitions to God; but I know he is listening and will help meet my needs by either changing my heart and giving me new eyes to see through, or by helping me to be proactive in a new way that I have yet to figure out and therefore will lead us to the real sincere friends we need (and who hopefully need us as well); And in the mean time, I am thankful for the green pasture we do have; for all of our incredible, loving family and friends who we are not privileged to live close to at this time.
It is a blessing and curse to have such incredible people in our lives who live just too far away!!
Our pasture is green, and I do recognize God's love and tender mercies performed on our behalf... I am a blessed girl to have God care for me.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Simply
With every move we make, I find myself in a drifters state for a period while I assimilate to my new climate, getting to know the area and the people. I have a lot of things that I feel passionately about, as well as things that I feel particularly interested in, and during this time of assimilation I feel like those things are brought to the forefront and I assess more honestly whether they are things for me or things I have started to do because of people around me. (Not sure if that makes sense or not; I just mean that my hobbies and interests can be influenced by the people I am around).
One thing that I always come back to is the fact that I'm what I call a simplist. I like things to be simple, raw, and real. I like nothing more than to have a conversation with someone where my real side comes out, and where we aren't tip toeing around trying to get to know each other. I like talking about things that matter, I like being honest about things that are hard to deal with (like adjusting to a new schedule ever set by the baby in the house), then followed up with the simple joys of life- like watching Will play by himself in contented joy, or getting to comment on how much I appreciate my hubby for working hard.
I feel like it's easy to define ourselves by the things around us. The "stuff" in our house, the clothes we wear, the activities our kids are involved in. And while all of these things are fun and in their own way more or less important, I think what really matters is the raw individual; or in my case, realizing that all the things I like really are the things that just accentuate my personal individuality.
When I was an older elementary- junior high student I was very hard on myself. I never felt like I measured up; I was never pretty or skinny enough, or liked or popular enough. I was self absorbed and floundering for acceptance. It took me a while to understand that I already had all the good things a girl could ask for. I relate it directly to a tender, merciful God who stepped in as I turned to Him and showed me all the good things about myself. It was then, and only then, that I realized my worth came from Him not my peers, that I didn't have to be a size 2 to be cute and pretty, and that it didn't matter one bit what my peers thought of me; I am a beautiful daughter of God with tremendous potential to learn, become, and influence others.
As women it is easy to stack our talents against each other; to feel like in order to be a good wife, mom, or friend (or visiting teacher...) we have to make world class meals, have our houses always spic and span, throw immaculate birthday parities for our kids (who would be just as happy with a cardboard box!), or bring insane goodies every time we go out to visit a friend/ sister in the ward. To all of that I say (excuse my language...) screw it! In my humble opinion it doesn't matter an ounce. The real things that matter are the individual gifts we are cultivating. Are we doing the best with what we have? Are we perusing hobbies because we are sincerely interested in them? Are we being kind to our bodies and our talents by not obsessing over every flaw or imperfection? Are we trying to cultivate our relationship with God and Christ? Are we putting aside the pile of to-do's and spending necessary play time with the little ones who matter most?
When it comes down to it, the thing I want my kids to remember most are that I was grounded to the things that matter most; I didn't spend excess amounts of time worrying about my hair, make up, and clothes, I didn't put Facebook or pintrest above getting down and playing Legos with them. I want them to remember me doing the simple things to make them feel loved; like making them special dinners, letting them eat sugary treats (because I am pretty sure sugar won't kill them ;)), or laying in bed with them listening to them tell me stories. I want these things to be what matter most. And I forever want my relationship with my husband to be at the forefront. I want our home to be beautiful, but most of all a safe place for our kids and their friends where we can gather and feel the protection of our loving God.
I want to stay grounded to the raw things of life; the things that won't ever loose their value. Because when it comes down to it, the most pure and simple thing about me is that I am a daughter of God, and am on His errand to raise his spirit children and love His spirit son whom I am blessed to have as my husband.
One thing that I always come back to is the fact that I'm what I call a simplist. I like things to be simple, raw, and real. I like nothing more than to have a conversation with someone where my real side comes out, and where we aren't tip toeing around trying to get to know each other. I like talking about things that matter, I like being honest about things that are hard to deal with (like adjusting to a new schedule ever set by the baby in the house), then followed up with the simple joys of life- like watching Will play by himself in contented joy, or getting to comment on how much I appreciate my hubby for working hard.
I feel like it's easy to define ourselves by the things around us. The "stuff" in our house, the clothes we wear, the activities our kids are involved in. And while all of these things are fun and in their own way more or less important, I think what really matters is the raw individual; or in my case, realizing that all the things I like really are the things that just accentuate my personal individuality.
When I was an older elementary- junior high student I was very hard on myself. I never felt like I measured up; I was never pretty or skinny enough, or liked or popular enough. I was self absorbed and floundering for acceptance. It took me a while to understand that I already had all the good things a girl could ask for. I relate it directly to a tender, merciful God who stepped in as I turned to Him and showed me all the good things about myself. It was then, and only then, that I realized my worth came from Him not my peers, that I didn't have to be a size 2 to be cute and pretty, and that it didn't matter one bit what my peers thought of me; I am a beautiful daughter of God with tremendous potential to learn, become, and influence others.
As women it is easy to stack our talents against each other; to feel like in order to be a good wife, mom, or friend (or visiting teacher...) we have to make world class meals, have our houses always spic and span, throw immaculate birthday parities for our kids (who would be just as happy with a cardboard box!), or bring insane goodies every time we go out to visit a friend/ sister in the ward. To all of that I say (excuse my language...) screw it! In my humble opinion it doesn't matter an ounce. The real things that matter are the individual gifts we are cultivating. Are we doing the best with what we have? Are we perusing hobbies because we are sincerely interested in them? Are we being kind to our bodies and our talents by not obsessing over every flaw or imperfection? Are we trying to cultivate our relationship with God and Christ? Are we putting aside the pile of to-do's and spending necessary play time with the little ones who matter most?
When it comes down to it, the thing I want my kids to remember most are that I was grounded to the things that matter most; I didn't spend excess amounts of time worrying about my hair, make up, and clothes, I didn't put Facebook or pintrest above getting down and playing Legos with them. I want them to remember me doing the simple things to make them feel loved; like making them special dinners, letting them eat sugary treats (because I am pretty sure sugar won't kill them ;)), or laying in bed with them listening to them tell me stories. I want these things to be what matter most. And I forever want my relationship with my husband to be at the forefront. I want our home to be beautiful, but most of all a safe place for our kids and their friends where we can gather and feel the protection of our loving God.
I want to stay grounded to the raw things of life; the things that won't ever loose their value. Because when it comes down to it, the most pure and simple thing about me is that I am a daughter of God, and am on His errand to raise his spirit children and love His spirit son whom I am blessed to have as my husband.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
A Little Experiment
Around the time William was born, I made a goal for myself to hold off on social media (Internet, tv, or even a book I'm reading for fun) until I have read my scriptures for the day. I haven't been perfect at it, but that's not the important thing! I've started to notice a huge blessing it brings, besides the blessing of starting my day off right with the spirit.
The mornings where I promptly sit down and read my scriptures after putting Will down for his morning nap, William sleeps significantly longer (we're talking an hour or more longer... Ya!) It is incredible to me! This morning I tried to put William down for his morning nap with the intention of working on getting some pictures ready to print (see, I told you I'm not 100% on my goal!) I began working on the pictures and William was bawling, which is not typical for him. He finally fell asleep, but then a few minutes later he was bawling again. I thought, "Geeze! What is wrong?? I know he's tired... What should I do?" Then I looked at what I was doing and realized the problem. I put my picture project on hold, grabbed my scriptures and sat down to read. Immediately (no joke) William stopped crying and settled in for his nap. That was at 9:30ish, and it's now 12. I told ya, his naps are incredible when I do what's most important first: READ MY SCRIPTURES!
A part of my analytical side wants to say, "that's just by chance that Will naps better when you read your scriptures first..." but the deeper, more spiritually connected side of me doesn't let me dismiss this huge blessing as nothing. I know God blesses us as we put Him first. It follows His laws and His order; when we place Him first He can't withhold the natural blessings that come because of our choices.
The mornings where I promptly sit down and read my scriptures after putting Will down for his morning nap, William sleeps significantly longer (we're talking an hour or more longer... Ya!) It is incredible to me! This morning I tried to put William down for his morning nap with the intention of working on getting some pictures ready to print (see, I told you I'm not 100% on my goal!) I began working on the pictures and William was bawling, which is not typical for him. He finally fell asleep, but then a few minutes later he was bawling again. I thought, "Geeze! What is wrong?? I know he's tired... What should I do?" Then I looked at what I was doing and realized the problem. I put my picture project on hold, grabbed my scriptures and sat down to read. Immediately (no joke) William stopped crying and settled in for his nap. That was at 9:30ish, and it's now 12. I told ya, his naps are incredible when I do what's most important first: READ MY SCRIPTURES!
A part of my analytical side wants to say, "that's just by chance that Will naps better when you read your scriptures first..." but the deeper, more spiritually connected side of me doesn't let me dismiss this huge blessing as nothing. I know God blesses us as we put Him first. It follows His laws and His order; when we place Him first He can't withhold the natural blessings that come because of our choices.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
"Just" A Stay At Home Mom
Whenever I meet people I go through the same initial drum roll questions and answers. They're great "getting-to-know-you" inquiries that eventually lead to either, "what do you do?" or "do you work or...?" At first (especially when I was only expecting William) I was a little hesitant to say that I simply stay at home; especially because I worked my toosh off to get a degree in education that I'm stinkin' proud of!
I have often wondered why it is that I have felt the need to have a job title tacked on to my "introduction" to people to really feel like I am received (or even perceived) in a bright, competent light- Almost as if saying staying at home means that I am in general a lazy person, or don't have enough drive to take on the home front and the work force at the same time. I have also wondered about women in generations past where it was common, even expected for them to say at home. How did they feel about their tasks and who they were individually (did they feel fulfilled in their roles)? While I am sure there are many answers I could find to these questions, I had a big one dawn on me just recently.
House chores are an endless burden. It's what women can easily complain about, "ugh! I just cleaned the floor to have Sam spill sticky juice all over it!" It feels nice to vent, but more so I think us women just like having things to talk about- especially the things that we're doing 24-7! Not to take away from the annoyance spilled juice on a clean floor really can be, but I feel like I have turned over a new leaf and gained better perspective into the life and role of a stay at home mom (aka ME).
In any career, you work your hardest to be able to succeed. You stoke the right people's egos (and hopefully out of genuine care and real sincerity ;)), you put in extra hours to get things polished and up to par, and you research new innovative ideas to be more streamlined and efficient. You also try to maintain a good, if not excellent, report with the people you serve. If this is the attitude towards a career in the work force, why not apply it to the career of being a stay at home mom?
I worked hard as a college student, student teacher, and TITLE intervention teacher to succeed and progress. I learned, changed, and adapted to new situations. I put a lot of effort into being successful- especially in areas where success meant everything to my career goals. As I have transitioned from my school and career drive to being a stay at home mom, I have lagged that spirited push for achievement that brought me a lot of personal satisfaction. At first I found myself hopelessly bored and hungry for a challenge. William has helped satiate that hunger (he can keep a crowed busy ;)), but I still have that longing to push myself to learn new methods and achieve personal success on a daily basis.
With help of my budget frenzy kick, I have had a beautiful realization hit me! Those women in generations past I mentioned before weren't lacking for any drive. They got the big picture about what it means to be a stay at home mom. They knew instinctively that their natural drive for success could easily be fulfilled in house keeping and child rearing. They knew they didn't have to look farther than the four walls surrounding them to achieve challenges many people seek in the work force. They ran a tight ship, and made teaching their children, hard work, and seeking new talents a priority.
I have just come to realize the vast areas at which I can succeed, and at which I can learn to become better in being a stay at home mom. I have realized that dreaded house cleaning doesn't need to be so dreaded after all. There is a lot of time I seek to fill just so that I can play off the, "I'm just too busy to clean today..." mantra. I have begun to feel the deep satisfaction that comes from having a consistently clean house; not one that is spotless (because trust me, I'm not immaculate by an stretch of the imagination!), just one that is orderly and calming to the mind! I have begun to feel the extra energy my day is filled with when I wake up to a house that was put back in order the night before so I could start the day on top. It makes me feel excited and reenergized about my role as a stay at home mom in all of its well rounded forms. There are more areas than being the sassiest taxi driver on the block that I am looking forward to achieving as a SAHM ;)
Chalk this one up on my gratitude list too! I'm one blessed momma to have the job I do!
I have often wondered why it is that I have felt the need to have a job title tacked on to my "introduction" to people to really feel like I am received (or even perceived) in a bright, competent light- Almost as if saying staying at home means that I am in general a lazy person, or don't have enough drive to take on the home front and the work force at the same time. I have also wondered about women in generations past where it was common, even expected for them to say at home. How did they feel about their tasks and who they were individually (did they feel fulfilled in their roles)? While I am sure there are many answers I could find to these questions, I had a big one dawn on me just recently.
House chores are an endless burden. It's what women can easily complain about, "ugh! I just cleaned the floor to have Sam spill sticky juice all over it!" It feels nice to vent, but more so I think us women just like having things to talk about- especially the things that we're doing 24-7! Not to take away from the annoyance spilled juice on a clean floor really can be, but I feel like I have turned over a new leaf and gained better perspective into the life and role of a stay at home mom (aka ME).
In any career, you work your hardest to be able to succeed. You stoke the right people's egos (and hopefully out of genuine care and real sincerity ;)), you put in extra hours to get things polished and up to par, and you research new innovative ideas to be more streamlined and efficient. You also try to maintain a good, if not excellent, report with the people you serve. If this is the attitude towards a career in the work force, why not apply it to the career of being a stay at home mom?
I worked hard as a college student, student teacher, and TITLE intervention teacher to succeed and progress. I learned, changed, and adapted to new situations. I put a lot of effort into being successful- especially in areas where success meant everything to my career goals. As I have transitioned from my school and career drive to being a stay at home mom, I have lagged that spirited push for achievement that brought me a lot of personal satisfaction. At first I found myself hopelessly bored and hungry for a challenge. William has helped satiate that hunger (he can keep a crowed busy ;)), but I still have that longing to push myself to learn new methods and achieve personal success on a daily basis.
With help of my budget frenzy kick, I have had a beautiful realization hit me! Those women in generations past I mentioned before weren't lacking for any drive. They got the big picture about what it means to be a stay at home mom. They knew instinctively that their natural drive for success could easily be fulfilled in house keeping and child rearing. They knew they didn't have to look farther than the four walls surrounding them to achieve challenges many people seek in the work force. They ran a tight ship, and made teaching their children, hard work, and seeking new talents a priority.
I have just come to realize the vast areas at which I can succeed, and at which I can learn to become better in being a stay at home mom. I have realized that dreaded house cleaning doesn't need to be so dreaded after all. There is a lot of time I seek to fill just so that I can play off the, "I'm just too busy to clean today..." mantra. I have begun to feel the deep satisfaction that comes from having a consistently clean house; not one that is spotless (because trust me, I'm not immaculate by an stretch of the imagination!), just one that is orderly and calming to the mind! I have begun to feel the extra energy my day is filled with when I wake up to a house that was put back in order the night before so I could start the day on top. It makes me feel excited and reenergized about my role as a stay at home mom in all of its well rounded forms. There are more areas than being the sassiest taxi driver on the block that I am looking forward to achieving as a SAHM ;)
Chalk this one up on my gratitude list too! I'm one blessed momma to have the job I do!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Overwhelmingly Grateful
My heart is full of gratitude. We have received so many answers to our prayers lately. I am overwhelmed by the compassion our Heavenly Father has on my family. He listens to us from the big things to the small things, and everything in between! These are the things that have been swarming me with untold amounts of gratitude lately:
1. Our prayers were answered to find a new job that gave us family time. I didn't realize how starved my relationship with Richard was. We did the absolute best we could with the time and situation we had (and were doing well, don't get me wrong!) I have been bursting at the seams though with love and gratitude for this thoughtful man. We have been able to do so much more together. I love his company, intelligence, and devotion.
2. We were blessed to be able to trade in our truck, sell our trailer, and purchase a commuter car with a little bit extra to cover the cost of a moving van. All of these things were individual prayer that weighed on us considerably. Heavenly Father put us in touch with the right people at the right time and gave us the proper inspiration when we needed it. Truly a blessing.
3. We are going to live in a HOUSE! We get to put down some serious roots here! No matter what our initial insecurities are, we are living in an incredible area and get to expand our lives, meet new friends, serve more fully, and raise our beautiful family in one area. I have fretted about not having enough furnishings to make our house beautiful and cozy, when I should be spending that time thanking the dear Lord we have an incredible roof over our heads, food on our tables, and the chance to grow into a home bit by bit.
4. I am tearfully grateful for all the incredible friends I have made while moving around so much.
-Laura Nielsen was the first of many friends I made on our crazy job adventure. She talked baby with me and showed me awesome ideas of things to do as a mommy. She helped me feel excited about the next step, and kept me from going crazy bored in the Eden Prairie hotel.
-Rebecca Phillips was my first friend in Atlantic. She and her hubby gave us a list of available houses to look for our first Sunday and first day in town. She took me to all my prenatal appointments, while she patiently waited in the foyer with a baby and a two year old. She helped me get prepared for finally having William, gave us clothes they didn't needed for baby and even gave me maternity clothes. She and her family made Atlantic feel like home.
-Laurel McCance saved me from boredom by taking me out to lunch every week so I wouldn't be trapped inside all day. She took me to buy groceries (one car w/ Rich all day limited my mobility). She kept me company, listened to my stories, and showed me around Atlantic. She was an unexpected friend (because she's older than me), but more needed than I could have anticipated.
-Christine Bare was the pea in my pod. I could relate to everything she was going through and she me. She was the first non-family member to watch William for us (so we could celebrate our anniversary), and was the shoulder I needed to lean on. I could talk to her for hours and not realize the time had passed. She was invested in the well being of my family and I hers, and it meant the world to me.
As I reflect back to these people and their recent roles in my life, I know they have been answers to my prayers. I am the type of person that always and forever will need a good friend, and they have been the answer to my consistent prayer for such a friend wherever I am.
5. I am grateful for the sweet baby I get to call my own. He is a wonder. He is loving, innocent, and loyal. I am thankful to be his mother. He is a boy with tremendous potential. I love him with all my heart, and plead to qualify for the spiritual guidance needed to be the best mother to him I can be.
6. I am grateful for the beautiful promise of the future, and the willingness of God to answer my prayers. Life always brings a hurdle to jump over; I am glad I am being trained how to run the race well.
While in the shower tonight, I had this bit of inspiration come to my mind:
Our life stories don't always go exactly how we imagined them. Some events come sooner, others come later, and some never occur at all. Throughout the novel it's important to remember that it's the Editor's notes that make it a master piece.
I am thankful for the little decisions that have lead me to where I am now. They have produced incredible miracles.
Life is so richly blessed when I strive to see it as such.
1. Our prayers were answered to find a new job that gave us family time. I didn't realize how starved my relationship with Richard was. We did the absolute best we could with the time and situation we had (and were doing well, don't get me wrong!) I have been bursting at the seams though with love and gratitude for this thoughtful man. We have been able to do so much more together. I love his company, intelligence, and devotion.
2. We were blessed to be able to trade in our truck, sell our trailer, and purchase a commuter car with a little bit extra to cover the cost of a moving van. All of these things were individual prayer that weighed on us considerably. Heavenly Father put us in touch with the right people at the right time and gave us the proper inspiration when we needed it. Truly a blessing.
3. We are going to live in a HOUSE! We get to put down some serious roots here! No matter what our initial insecurities are, we are living in an incredible area and get to expand our lives, meet new friends, serve more fully, and raise our beautiful family in one area. I have fretted about not having enough furnishings to make our house beautiful and cozy, when I should be spending that time thanking the dear Lord we have an incredible roof over our heads, food on our tables, and the chance to grow into a home bit by bit.
4. I am tearfully grateful for all the incredible friends I have made while moving around so much.
-Laura Nielsen was the first of many friends I made on our crazy job adventure. She talked baby with me and showed me awesome ideas of things to do as a mommy. She helped me feel excited about the next step, and kept me from going crazy bored in the Eden Prairie hotel.
-Rebecca Phillips was my first friend in Atlantic. She and her hubby gave us a list of available houses to look for our first Sunday and first day in town. She took me to all my prenatal appointments, while she patiently waited in the foyer with a baby and a two year old. She helped me get prepared for finally having William, gave us clothes they didn't needed for baby and even gave me maternity clothes. She and her family made Atlantic feel like home.
-Laurel McCance saved me from boredom by taking me out to lunch every week so I wouldn't be trapped inside all day. She took me to buy groceries (one car w/ Rich all day limited my mobility). She kept me company, listened to my stories, and showed me around Atlantic. She was an unexpected friend (because she's older than me), but more needed than I could have anticipated.
-Christine Bare was the pea in my pod. I could relate to everything she was going through and she me. She was the first non-family member to watch William for us (so we could celebrate our anniversary), and was the shoulder I needed to lean on. I could talk to her for hours and not realize the time had passed. She was invested in the well being of my family and I hers, and it meant the world to me.
As I reflect back to these people and their recent roles in my life, I know they have been answers to my prayers. I am the type of person that always and forever will need a good friend, and they have been the answer to my consistent prayer for such a friend wherever I am.
5. I am grateful for the sweet baby I get to call my own. He is a wonder. He is loving, innocent, and loyal. I am thankful to be his mother. He is a boy with tremendous potential. I love him with all my heart, and plead to qualify for the spiritual guidance needed to be the best mother to him I can be.
6. I am grateful for the beautiful promise of the future, and the willingness of God to answer my prayers. Life always brings a hurdle to jump over; I am glad I am being trained how to run the race well.
While in the shower tonight, I had this bit of inspiration come to my mind:
Our life stories don't always go exactly how we imagined them. Some events come sooner, others come later, and some never occur at all. Throughout the novel it's important to remember that it's the Editor's notes that make it a master piece.
I am thankful for the little decisions that have lead me to where I am now. They have produced incredible miracles.
Life is so richly blessed when I strive to see it as such.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Priesthood
My friend from back in Dodge City recently shared this Mormon Message about the Priesthood:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WNLYeTxBQiY
(I am not sure how to share the video directly on here, so the link will have to suffice for now.)
The older I get, the younger I realize these young men are who pass and administer the sacrament, and who are blessed with the beginning power to act in God's name and His ordinances. I am impressed by the significant trust God gives to young 12 year old boys to serve in His name. I am impressed that He trusts 19 year old boys to go out and preach His word. As a mother it makes sense though. You don't teach your child in a day what you want them to be like forever. You teach them repetitively, day in and day out, and then some day down the line you hope it all sticks and you can see them acting and living the way you taught them to.
I feel this is why God gives these young boys the early responsibility to act in His name. He is seeking for them to be life long servants to Him and those they are around. He is teaching them how to bear responsibility with dignity and respect early in their lives; and He is teaching them early their power to do good in this world.
As I watched the Mormon Message video it reinforced a strong feeling I have had lately to do all I can to teach my sweet William, and other boys of I am blessed to have more, the sacred responsibility it is to be a holder of the Priesthood. I want him to understand early its significance and lasting importance. I want him to, if anything, understand that being a holder of the Priesthood is a sacred trust and to bear it with dignity and respect. It makes me teary to picture my sweet William passing the sacrament and futuristically blessing his home, wife and kids, with the power of God.
From examples in my life, the Priesthood of God transforms ordinary men into extraordinary, loving men. I hope deeply for this for my baby. There is no greater blessing I could see come to my baby than to have him take hold of the truths we teach him and to watch him grow in that light and knowledge.
I am infinitely blessed because of the extraordinary men in my life who have allowed themselves to be shaped and molded by God's careful hand.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WNLYeTxBQiY
(I am not sure how to share the video directly on here, so the link will have to suffice for now.)
The older I get, the younger I realize these young men are who pass and administer the sacrament, and who are blessed with the beginning power to act in God's name and His ordinances. I am impressed by the significant trust God gives to young 12 year old boys to serve in His name. I am impressed that He trusts 19 year old boys to go out and preach His word. As a mother it makes sense though. You don't teach your child in a day what you want them to be like forever. You teach them repetitively, day in and day out, and then some day down the line you hope it all sticks and you can see them acting and living the way you taught them to.
I feel this is why God gives these young boys the early responsibility to act in His name. He is seeking for them to be life long servants to Him and those they are around. He is teaching them how to bear responsibility with dignity and respect early in their lives; and He is teaching them early their power to do good in this world.
As I watched the Mormon Message video it reinforced a strong feeling I have had lately to do all I can to teach my sweet William, and other boys of I am blessed to have more, the sacred responsibility it is to be a holder of the Priesthood. I want him to understand early its significance and lasting importance. I want him to, if anything, understand that being a holder of the Priesthood is a sacred trust and to bear it with dignity and respect. It makes me teary to picture my sweet William passing the sacrament and futuristically blessing his home, wife and kids, with the power of God.
From examples in my life, the Priesthood of God transforms ordinary men into extraordinary, loving men. I hope deeply for this for my baby. There is no greater blessing I could see come to my baby than to have him take hold of the truths we teach him and to watch him grow in that light and knowledge.
I am infinitely blessed because of the extraordinary men in my life who have allowed themselves to be shaped and molded by God's careful hand.
Finances
A lot changes between the time when you first get married to even a couple years down the line. When Rich and I were newly newly weds, I wanted HIM to be the one to create our budget for us and keep track of how we were doing that month financially. He on the other hand wanted ME to be the one to create it and keep track of it. So we spent the first year (probably year and a half...) of us having a roughly etched out budget that neither of us visited ever. We always knew we were in the positive and up to date on payments like bills etc, but weren't sticking to our guns.
Something somewhere along the lines clicked with me, and I have budgeting fever! I think it's because I finally got a BIG term picture in my mind when we started talking about buying a house, and I wanted to do my part to help us reach that goal (since I'm not the bread winner, but the baby chaser in our house). We have since laid out a realistic budget for us, and I have been laboring my tooshie off to make sure we stay within our perimeters. It has been fun, stressful, rewarding, and time consuming. I have pinned countless money saving tips on pintrest, a lot of which make me feel like I am totally going to dominate this budgeting gig!
While budgeting has been fun, I feel so desperate to "win" at it that it has been stressing me out. I feel like our budget is sink or swim (in many ways it is), and how do I stay a float when we have so much to juggle? Maybe we just eat a ton (okay, there's no maybe to it... We all eat a ton in this house!), and we have so many fun things we want to get for our new house that I feel like the belt around my budget is starting to give way. It panics me! Like I said before, I desperately want to succeed at our budgeting (it's a fun goal and task for me to achieve, and makes me feel proud that I can take care of my family without breaking the bank).
My drive for success in this area has caused me to pause and say many prayers. Prayers to lead me to success, to have a clear mind, to find good deals, and to know what is realistic for us. I have been blessed with many of those things, and the additional blessing of a supportive husband who cheers me on, follows my rigid guidelines, and helps me regain perspective when the dollar signs to everything start spiraling out of control in front of me! I am so blessed to have a great friend in him. I am so blessed to even have this predicament! I am so blessed to have challenges to think about, solve, and get better at. I am glad that for some reason budgeting has clicked for me now; it has given Rich and me a lot of fun things to talk about and plan for. It has also challenged my mind in areas I was seeking to be challenged (I love having ownership over things and finding a way to succeed).
So whether I sink or I swim, I am glad for little changes in personal interest!
Something somewhere along the lines clicked with me, and I have budgeting fever! I think it's because I finally got a BIG term picture in my mind when we started talking about buying a house, and I wanted to do my part to help us reach that goal (since I'm not the bread winner, but the baby chaser in our house). We have since laid out a realistic budget for us, and I have been laboring my tooshie off to make sure we stay within our perimeters. It has been fun, stressful, rewarding, and time consuming. I have pinned countless money saving tips on pintrest, a lot of which make me feel like I am totally going to dominate this budgeting gig!
While budgeting has been fun, I feel so desperate to "win" at it that it has been stressing me out. I feel like our budget is sink or swim (in many ways it is), and how do I stay a float when we have so much to juggle? Maybe we just eat a ton (okay, there's no maybe to it... We all eat a ton in this house!), and we have so many fun things we want to get for our new house that I feel like the belt around my budget is starting to give way. It panics me! Like I said before, I desperately want to succeed at our budgeting (it's a fun goal and task for me to achieve, and makes me feel proud that I can take care of my family without breaking the bank).
My drive for success in this area has caused me to pause and say many prayers. Prayers to lead me to success, to have a clear mind, to find good deals, and to know what is realistic for us. I have been blessed with many of those things, and the additional blessing of a supportive husband who cheers me on, follows my rigid guidelines, and helps me regain perspective when the dollar signs to everything start spiraling out of control in front of me! I am so blessed to have a great friend in him. I am so blessed to even have this predicament! I am so blessed to have challenges to think about, solve, and get better at. I am glad that for some reason budgeting has clicked for me now; it has given Rich and me a lot of fun things to talk about and plan for. It has also challenged my mind in areas I was seeking to be challenged (I love having ownership over things and finding a way to succeed).
So whether I sink or I swim, I am glad for little changes in personal interest!
Sunday, August 5, 2012
A Loving Father
A while back I read the book, "A Return to Virtue" by Sister Dalton. In part of her book, she shared a thought in her chapter "raising up a virtuous generation" that resonated with me and made me think of my dad and me.
She explains, "...[Christ] had a close relationship with His Father. I think that relationship and pattern was established by his earthly father, Joseph, as he worked side by side with his son. It feels to me that as Jesus was daily tutored by His earthly father, Joseph, in informal settings, it was a simple matter to know of His Heavenly Father. I think Jesus knew that His Heavenly Father loved Him because He also knew and experienced His earthly father's love and companionship" (105).
In church today, a sister bore her testimony, and expressed that due to the lack of her father in her life, she has had a very hard time believing that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us and is concerned for us. My heart ached for her, because my experience in life has been the complete opposite. The relationship I have with my dad has been a source of light and consistency in my life. My dad has always sought to bring out the best in me, and remind me of my intrinsic value and worth when I seem to forget it. Just the other night, while on the phone with him, I explained how I feel a little bit intimidated by our new ward, the vast amount of talent in it, and the need for a friend. He replied by saying, "they're the ones who are intimidated!" It hit me that weather I'm right, or he's right, or we're both wrong all together, I am so blessed to have a dad who thinks the world of me, and who reminds me that I'm a good person with good talents.
As I listened to the sister in sacrament meeting and reflected back on this experience with my dad, it hit me that he offered validation that my Heavenly Father wants to give me too. I clearly thought: when I forget my worth or my strengths, I [Heavenly Father] can always see them and I never forget your value. I am very blessed to have a wonderful father who makes it easy for me to believe and trust that I have a loving Heavenly Father who cares for me, listens to me, and helps me.
I am also blessed to be married to a man who is loving, kind, supportive, and a wonderful father. I have no doubt that he will teach our sons how to be great men, protectors, and loving spouses and parents. I have no doubt that he will set the bar impossibly high for our daughters when they are looking for a spouse because he will teach them how a man should treat them, and how to receive and reciprocate healthy love and relationships. It is a sacred responsibility to teach our children how to be good, honest individuals, loving friends and family members, creative and talented kids, and future spouses and parents. I understand clearly that my children will emulate the behaviors I teach them more by actions than by words. I pray my guts out that they will see the good in my heart because God knows well how often I fall short! I am grateful though to be the one to be an example of how to love and treat people well because I feel like love is the one thing I really can offer up.
I hope more than anything that Rich and I can make it easy for our children to believe there is a God who loves them and is constantly wanting the best for them because they experience those things with us. I know life can be lonely and unsure at times, but I know that if my children can experience that total trust that God loves them like I have, they will make it through impossible things. The family unit (mom, dad, kids, etc) is absolutely inspired. I am eternally blessed because of it.
She explains, "...[Christ] had a close relationship with His Father. I think that relationship and pattern was established by his earthly father, Joseph, as he worked side by side with his son. It feels to me that as Jesus was daily tutored by His earthly father, Joseph, in informal settings, it was a simple matter to know of His Heavenly Father. I think Jesus knew that His Heavenly Father loved Him because He also knew and experienced His earthly father's love and companionship" (105).
In church today, a sister bore her testimony, and expressed that due to the lack of her father in her life, she has had a very hard time believing that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us and is concerned for us. My heart ached for her, because my experience in life has been the complete opposite. The relationship I have with my dad has been a source of light and consistency in my life. My dad has always sought to bring out the best in me, and remind me of my intrinsic value and worth when I seem to forget it. Just the other night, while on the phone with him, I explained how I feel a little bit intimidated by our new ward, the vast amount of talent in it, and the need for a friend. He replied by saying, "they're the ones who are intimidated!" It hit me that weather I'm right, or he's right, or we're both wrong all together, I am so blessed to have a dad who thinks the world of me, and who reminds me that I'm a good person with good talents.
As I listened to the sister in sacrament meeting and reflected back on this experience with my dad, it hit me that he offered validation that my Heavenly Father wants to give me too. I clearly thought: when I forget my worth or my strengths, I [Heavenly Father] can always see them and I never forget your value. I am very blessed to have a wonderful father who makes it easy for me to believe and trust that I have a loving Heavenly Father who cares for me, listens to me, and helps me.
I am also blessed to be married to a man who is loving, kind, supportive, and a wonderful father. I have no doubt that he will teach our sons how to be great men, protectors, and loving spouses and parents. I have no doubt that he will set the bar impossibly high for our daughters when they are looking for a spouse because he will teach them how a man should treat them, and how to receive and reciprocate healthy love and relationships. It is a sacred responsibility to teach our children how to be good, honest individuals, loving friends and family members, creative and talented kids, and future spouses and parents. I understand clearly that my children will emulate the behaviors I teach them more by actions than by words. I pray my guts out that they will see the good in my heart because God knows well how often I fall short! I am grateful though to be the one to be an example of how to love and treat people well because I feel like love is the one thing I really can offer up.
I hope more than anything that Rich and I can make it easy for our children to believe there is a God who loves them and is constantly wanting the best for them because they experience those things with us. I know life can be lonely and unsure at times, but I know that if my children can experience that total trust that God loves them like I have, they will make it through impossible things. The family unit (mom, dad, kids, etc) is absolutely inspired. I am eternally blessed because of it.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
A Heart Full of Gratitude
Change is a never ending story in our neck of the woods. We've made it to our new city, Rich has started his new job, and we've partially moved in to our temporary new place until our new home is ready. Life couldn't be more blessed. On Sunday, the lady giving her talk in church explained how the more specific we are in our prayers to God, the more specific He will be in answering us. Forgetting all the past experiences I've had over the last X amount of years, this last week has been a testament to that woman's statement.
In coming out here to Las Vegas, we realized that we will raise our family here for a good portion of their lives; and since we'll be in this city for a long time we wanted to be carefully attune to where the Lord would have us live to maximize our growth potential. This led us to our knees day in and day out asking for guidance and inspiration on what house we should buy, if we should buy, and how much we should spend for it. I tried to be very specific with Heavenly Father, asking for both Richard and I to feel really good about the decision, for us to differentiate between excitement and inspiration, and for us to do whatever His will was no matter what. We also found ourselves on our knees often asking for help with William. Since we looked for houses right when we got here, we didn't know anyone who could watch Will (especially anyone we'd really trust). That meant that he was going with us to every house missing all 3 naps he takes.
It was incredible to see how the Lord answered our prayers. William was an incredible champ. He was a bit squirmy, and began to fear the car every time we walked towards it, but he held onto his cheerful self so we could house hunt. Our prayers were also specifically answered on the house to choose. We had several homes where either Rich or myself would really like, but the other person didn't feel right about it. We knew this was a sign from Heavenly Father to keep looking.
The whole process has me filled with gratitude. I am amazed at Heavenly Father's kindness, His ability to help us, and care for us. My heart is bursting at the seams; not only did Heavenly Father listen to our prayers asking for the opportunity to obtain a different job with family-friendly hours, but he has blessed us with the opportunity and means to settle down. I know Heavenly Father cares for us.
Truman G. Madsen explained how to acknowledge there is a God, a divine being, is to acknowledge that He has a say in your life. I am glad I know God is real, and I am glad He has a say in my life. He leads me to far better things than I could ever achieve on my own! Truly, my heart is full of gratitude!
In coming out here to Las Vegas, we realized that we will raise our family here for a good portion of their lives; and since we'll be in this city for a long time we wanted to be carefully attune to where the Lord would have us live to maximize our growth potential. This led us to our knees day in and day out asking for guidance and inspiration on what house we should buy, if we should buy, and how much we should spend for it. I tried to be very specific with Heavenly Father, asking for both Richard and I to feel really good about the decision, for us to differentiate between excitement and inspiration, and for us to do whatever His will was no matter what. We also found ourselves on our knees often asking for help with William. Since we looked for houses right when we got here, we didn't know anyone who could watch Will (especially anyone we'd really trust). That meant that he was going with us to every house missing all 3 naps he takes.
It was incredible to see how the Lord answered our prayers. William was an incredible champ. He was a bit squirmy, and began to fear the car every time we walked towards it, but he held onto his cheerful self so we could house hunt. Our prayers were also specifically answered on the house to choose. We had several homes where either Rich or myself would really like, but the other person didn't feel right about it. We knew this was a sign from Heavenly Father to keep looking.
The whole process has me filled with gratitude. I am amazed at Heavenly Father's kindness, His ability to help us, and care for us. My heart is bursting at the seams; not only did Heavenly Father listen to our prayers asking for the opportunity to obtain a different job with family-friendly hours, but he has blessed us with the opportunity and means to settle down. I know Heavenly Father cares for us.
Truman G. Madsen explained how to acknowledge there is a God, a divine being, is to acknowledge that He has a say in your life. I am glad I know God is real, and I am glad He has a say in my life. He leads me to far better things than I could ever achieve on my own! Truly, my heart is full of gratitude!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Big Wonders
On our move to Las Vegas, we met our best friends Whittlee and Stewart in Flagstaff, AZ. They are the world's greatest friends! It's not often that you find couple friends where the wives gel, hubbys gel, and hubbys and wives gel; so we consider ourselves incredibly fortunate!
We didn't have a lot of time, but we drove with our sweet friends to see the Grand Canyon. It was worth the extra 3 hours of driving!! Not only was the company great, but we got to see one of God's breathtaking beauties.
As we drove the rest of the way into Las Vegas today, seeing all the rocky formations made me turn introspective. When I look at these beautiful creations, I can't help but believe there is a God. I can't help but believe He created all things. It all adds up to me; and I am so thankful I get to be on this earth to enjoy such wonders.
There is beauty in unexpected things.
We didn't have a lot of time, but we drove with our sweet friends to see the Grand Canyon. It was worth the extra 3 hours of driving!! Not only was the company great, but we got to see one of God's breathtaking beauties.
As we drove the rest of the way into Las Vegas today, seeing all the rocky formations made me turn introspective. When I look at these beautiful creations, I can't help but believe there is a God. I can't help but believe He created all things. It all adds up to me; and I am so thankful I get to be on this earth to enjoy such wonders.
There is beauty in unexpected things.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Love is Hairy
Rich came home with news that a friend from back home unexpectedly lost his wife to a sudden illness. Our hearts mutually broke. I don't know the guy or his family, but I haven't been able to stop myself from saying silent prayers for them, and counting my blessings to have my family all intact.
Marriage is a blessing- even including all the trials. It is the ultimate fulfillment to share yourself 100% with the person who makes you feel complete. You share the ups and the downs; the in betweens and the I-don't-knows. You share the victorious moments, and the glum doldrums.
It can be scary and tricky to give yourself so completely to someone. True love takes work and practice. It's hard refining yourself to think the best of your spouse; especially when the world programs us to think the worst.
Love is hairy. I've seen seasoned vets still practicing how to do it right. It gives me inspiration to never stop trying to show my spouse how much I love him.
Tragic news is a good reminder to love better. It's a good time to evaluate actions, intentions, and goals. It's a good time to break out that photo album, reminisce, and make out like hormonally driven teenagers ;) I feel a little silly writing that... But it's true! I don't want to forget what those lips feel like against mine; I want my adoration, love, and complete fidelity to spill out of each long smooch.
It is a rich blessing to me to be married to such a wonderful person. He fills my life with flavor and interest. I've come to depend on him for my happiness and sanity. We've had time to see each other at our weakest moments- individually and as a couple; and we've had time to see each other at our highest peeks- individually and as a couple. I'm glad love is work. I'm glad it requires something of myself to draw us close together: it's a long term investment that way.
Tonight, I'm counting my blessings and finding my husband at the top of my chart :)
Marriage is a blessing- even including all the trials. It is the ultimate fulfillment to share yourself 100% with the person who makes you feel complete. You share the ups and the downs; the in betweens and the I-don't-knows. You share the victorious moments, and the glum doldrums.
It can be scary and tricky to give yourself so completely to someone. True love takes work and practice. It's hard refining yourself to think the best of your spouse; especially when the world programs us to think the worst.
Love is hairy. I've seen seasoned vets still practicing how to do it right. It gives me inspiration to never stop trying to show my spouse how much I love him.
Tragic news is a good reminder to love better. It's a good time to evaluate actions, intentions, and goals. It's a good time to break out that photo album, reminisce, and make out like hormonally driven teenagers ;) I feel a little silly writing that... But it's true! I don't want to forget what those lips feel like against mine; I want my adoration, love, and complete fidelity to spill out of each long smooch.
It is a rich blessing to me to be married to such a wonderful person. He fills my life with flavor and interest. I've come to depend on him for my happiness and sanity. We've had time to see each other at our weakest moments- individually and as a couple; and we've had time to see each other at our highest peeks- individually and as a couple. I'm glad love is work. I'm glad it requires something of myself to draw us close together: it's a long term investment that way.
Tonight, I'm counting my blessings and finding my husband at the top of my chart :)
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